A Father's First Spring
by rebelriotgrrrl
Summary: Klaine! When Sam gets Brittany pregnant, Blaine plays the hero, offering to adopt the child so his best friend can have a future. Suddenly a desperate, single father, Blaine finds himself in NYC with an infant in tow, knocking on Kurt's door, begging for a place to stay. He can only hope that their platonic arrangement will turn into rekindled romance somewhere along the way.
1. Prologue

**A/N: So I got this idea after hearing about Heather Morris' pregnancy, but I want everyone to be aware that I'm not trying to exploit Heather's private life or anything. A friend and I were just talking about different ways we thought Glee could work the situation into the plot line of the show, and this was one of the more fun [albeit unlikely] scenarios we came up with. Somehow, it always comes back to Klaine :] So this right here's the prologue to the actual story, which will probably start around when Blaine shows up in New York, or close to that time anyway. I have the plot roughly outlined right now, but we'll see where it goes. Let me know what you all think! xoxox**

**P.S. As is a tendency of mine, I like to title my stories after song titles. This one is after a particularly beautiful song by The Avett Brothers. Give it a listen!**

* * *

"_I love you Britt. I love you no matter what happens. You know that. You can tell me anything and I will never stop loving you."_

_The two young women were sitting across from each other on the hard, brightly colored plastic chairs of a doctor's office in Lima, Ohio. Brittany Pierce looked into the haunting dark eyes of the Latina standing before her. Santana. Her ex-girlfriend. The woman she had trusted, adored, loved more than anyone in the world. Her best friend. Her soul mate. They had been apart for nearly a year now, and Brittany was dating Sam now, but her heart had never been able to leave Santana behind. And so, when Brittany had gone to the doctor with a bloated stomach and terrible cramps, she had asked Santana, who was in town visiting her parents, to accompany her. Brittany was certain it was nothing anyway; she was convinced she had just been somehow inhaling Lord Tubbington's hairballs in her sleep._

_But it was something much more than that. Brittany looked into Santana's eyes and knew she couldn't lie to her. Santana had special powers after all; it was the Mexican blood flowing through her veins. She knew when people weren't telling her the truth._

"_Santana, I'm pregnant," she had said, so innocently and bluntly, in that way that only Brittany could._

_Santana had taken one look at her and burst into tears. Brittany took the girl in her arms, soothing her gently, rubbing her back. She didn't know why Santana was crying. It was just a baby. Babies were cute, babies made people smile. Shouldn't that make San happy?_

"_Oh Britt, I'm so sorry. This is so awful. What are you going to do?" Santana pulled away, swiping at the tears cascading from her eyes, not even caring as her mascara smudged down her cheeks ._

"_What do you mean?" Brittany asked in genuine confusion. "I just told you what I'm doing. I'm having a baby."_

"_So…you're not going to go to a clinic or something?"_

"_A clinic? Like those places they set up for giving blood donations to the Red Cross? Those places really freak me out, they look like a scene from World War II being reenacted in the school cafeteria." Brittany shuddered slightly._

_Santana just shook her head. Oh sweet, innocent Britt. She didn't even understand that Santana was referring to an abortion clinic. She couldn't possibly take care of an infant. Brittany was capable of great things, Santana would be the first to say that, but perhaps motherhood wasn't in the cards for her, not just yet anyway. God, she was really just a kid herself._

"_Are you saying you're going to keep the baby?" Santana asked, hating herself as she did. She didn't want to know the answer, but she couldn't stop the question from escaping her lips._

"_Santana," Brittany shook her head, looking at the floor. "I just found out for the first time that babies don't actually come from the stork. Do you realize what this means? They told me I have to push an entire baby out of my lady parts. It's a lot to take in." Brittany looked overwhelmed, though not frightened. Ah, sweet Brittany. Her mind worked in such an interesting way. So simplistic, yet so wise all at once. It was why Santana loved her._

"_You still need to think about what's going to happen _after _the baby is born Britts," Santana told her in what she thought was an encouraging manner. "Are you going to raise it? Is Sam going to help? What is he even going to say? How could he have been this stupid anyway? How could he let this happen to you?"_

"_Hey, it's not Sam's fault. I guess those plastic sandwich baggies we got from the drugstore aren't really just less expensive condoms after all. They totally sucked. I'm gonna write the company."_

_Santana sighed heavily. Sometimes talking to Brittany could be like pulling teeth. _

"_I don't want to raise Sam's baby," Brittany said suddenly, looking up at Santana with a look of certainty laced with fear in her bright blue eyes._

"_No?" Santana asked hopefully, taking Brittany's hand in hers._

"_No. If I'm going to raise a baby, I want it to be a long time from now. And I want it to be with you. I still love you, you know?"_

_Santana felt so much pure relief coursing through her veins right then, she could have laughed aloud. But they still had a heavy situation on their hands._

"_So what are you going to do?"_

"_Well, it's still my baby. I mean, I still made it. I don't want it to die," Brittany said determinedly, and Santana had to smile at the sweetness that was so typical of her ex-girlfriend shining through. _

"_I think…I'll talk to Sam. If he wants the baby, he can have it once its born and raise it on his own. But if not, then I guess I'll give him away. He deserves a good mother, who can really love him and take care of him. And I don't think that's me. I mean, shoelaces still confuse me sometimes."_

_Santana did laugh then, all the tension of the past several months leaking out in that one moment. She threw her arms around Brittany. "I've never loved you more than I do right now."_

_x-x-x-x-x-x_

"_So…she just…dumped a kid on you, just like that?" Blaine Anderson was having trouble keeping the fury out of his voice. As much as he loved Brittany, he couldn't believe she could be so heartless, so selfish. It was her baby as much it was Sam's. She knew Sam's family situation wasn't so easy. How did she expect him to care for a kid, by _himself_ nevertheless. Blaine was Sam's best friend, but even he had to admit that Sam wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. Tossing a major responsibility on him like this wasn't at all fair. Especially when Sam finally had a chance of getting out of here and making something of himself, turning his life around once and for all, bad luck be damned. This _would _happen._

"_Man, don't be mad at Britt," Sam responded calmly, always the peacemaker. "You can't blame her. She's scared. She's not ready for a kid. And honestly, I think she's making a brave choice, giving up the little guy. Trying to raise him and then making a mess of things and totally screwing up his life would be far worse in the end. She's trying to give him a chance."_

"_She's being selfish!" Blaine interjected, feeling the fury rising from the pit of his stomach into his throat, tasting like bile. How could she do this to Sam? She knew all the crap he had been through. His family was so poor as it was, there was no way they could support an infant too._

"_Cut her some slack Blaine. Imagine what you'd do if you were her."_

_Blaine did try to imagine it, imagine getting saddled with a kid right before he was about to graduate, and with someone it turned out he didn't even love. That was the other part. If Brittany chose to raise the baby with Sam, she would essentially be agreeing to staying with him for the rest of her life. And it was obvious now that as much as she cared about Sam, her true love would always lie with Santana. She had even told Sam as much. And Blaine couldn't really fault her for that. He knew what it felt like, not to be able to move on…_

"_I guess I can't fault her completely."_

"_Exactly. And let's face it Blaine, Britt's not cut out to be a mom, not right now at least. She's doing the right thing."_

"_I don't get how you can be so understanding."_

"_When life gives you a lot of shit, you learn to take it easier on other people. You never know what people are secretly dealing with."_

"_Still, she basically is leaving you in the lurch."_

_Sam shrugged. "She doesn't feel like she has a choice."_

"_But what about you? Shouldn't you get a choice?"_

"_I have one. Brittany said if I didn't want the baby, we'd put him up for adoption. But I don't think I'm okay with that," Sam admitted._

"_What? You never told me this! If Britt's okay with putting the baby up for adoption, why on earth don't you just do that? It would solve all your problems."_

"_Because Blaine. You don't know what it's like. To know that there's a part of you, of your own flesh and blood, floating along somewhere out there, all innocent and little and scared. And it needs to be protected, it needs parents to love it and raise it and you _know_ that's what you're supposed to be doing. But you can't and you're terrified cause you're still just a kid yourself. You thought you'd have time to figure out what being an adult was all about first, before you had to take care of someone else like that. But it happened and now it's your responsibility. And you know you made a mistake, but the biggest mistake in the world would be to let that little baby go, off into the world, never knowing you, and you never knowing for sure if he was being loved the right way or raised the right way or if he had parents to sing him to sleep at night and hold him when he cried, someone to make him mac 'n cheese with hot dogs or teach him to play ball or take him to Disney. I can't go about living my life knowing that my own son is just living with some stranger who could be raising him any way they pleased. You know how in Harry Potter, he gets stuck with his aunt and uncle and they're these horrible mean people who make him sleep in a cupboard under the stairs? I can't live my life wondering if my kid is living in a cupboard under somebody's stairs somewhere. I won't have it. So, yes, it means I have to make sacrifices. But it's worth it to make sure he's safe and loved."_

_Blaine was a naturally sensitive guy and he couldn't help but feel himself tearing up a little bit after Sam's speech. Suddenly, on impulse, he heard his mouth opening._

"_Let me have him."_

"_What?" Sam asked in shock._

"_Let me adopt your son. You won't have anything to worry about. My parents gave up on me being the golden boy they dreamed of a very long time ago, so I have no one to disappoint. You, you've got this whole bright future ahead of you, places to go, a family to care for as it is. Me, I never really had any concrete plans for what I was going to do after graduation. I'm still not sure. But I can promise you that I will work my ass off to give your baby a good home. I will do everything in my power to make sure he never wants for anything. He will have mac 'n cheese and hot dogs, Sam. I'll teach him to play ball. We'll go to Disney. And of course I'll sing to him at night and hold him, and kiss his cuts and bruises and check his closet for monsters and teach him to play the piano and get him a puppy and- everything. I'll give him everything I have. I'll work as hard as I have to in order to support him, but he'll never be in need as long as he lives, because my parents set up a trust fund for me long ago. And all of that money Sam, I promise you, all of it, will go to this little baby."_

_Sam was staring at Blaine in utter amazement and disbelief. "Blaine…I'm touched by your offer, I really am. And you know there's no one I would rather be the father to my son than you. But I don't understand why you're doing this. Why would you want a baby?"_

_Blaine shrugged. "Because I need something to live for. And someone to love. I need someone to prove myself to, someone to be there for. Someone to be better for. I didn't realize how much I needed it till just now. Please Sam. Let me do this for you. You won't regret it."_

_Sam looked at his friend long and hard. "Are you ever going to forgive yourself for what you did to him, Blaine?" he asked softly._

_Blaine glanced down at the floor, kicking at it softly with one foot and biting his lower lip. "I don't know. What I do know is that I might need this baby as much as he needs me. I want to be everything for him."_

"_I trust you," said Sam. "And I'm sure Brittany does too. But you do know that taking the baby- it's not going to absolve you of your sins. It's not going to make what happened go away. Think about this Blaine. This is a lifetime commitment you're making. You can't just toss the baby out if you get bored of him, or return him if it doesn't work out. He's yours, forever."_

"_Forever," Blaine tasted the words on his lips, as if he was saying them for the first time, though he could easily think of another very distinct time when he said that same thing and failed. He wouldn't let that happen again._

"_Forever is all I've ever wanted," Blaine said with a confident smile at his friend. Sam pulled him into a tight embrace then, tears threatening at the corners of his eyes._

_Blaine wasn't exactly sure what he had just gotten himself into, but somehow, he knew he wouldn't regret it. _

_x-x-x-x-x-x_


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N So very sorry that it took so long for me to post this after the prologue but I wanted to make sure I did a decent job on the first chapter and made it actually a significant length. I'm still not _totally_ satisfied with this, but this week has been absolutely all kinds of insane so I'm afraid it's the best I can do for now. Thank you so much to all who already have so much faith in my story before I've hardly started writing it. I love you all and hope I do you justice! I adore your feedback, please don't be hesitant to review, even if it's just a sentence, and tell me what you think. Thank you! xoxox**

* * *

Blaine looked around the airport warily, a light duffel bag slung over his shoulder, a diaper bag in his right hand, and his left arm curled protectively around the back of the infant who was already strapped to the front of his chest securely by a dark blue wrap carrier. Blaine had done all his research when picking out a carrier for the infant. He had wanted the most comfortable yet secure carrier he could find and had finally settled on this one. Feeling Charlie's heartbeat against his own chest was the most reassuring feeling in the world.

Charlie. That was what Blaine had decided to name Sam and Brittany's baby. He'd been surprised when they told him they wanted him to name the baby, but then again, he _was _the father, which still, admittedly, felt weird to say. He had picked the name partly because Charles was a distinguished name, and he thought the little guy needed to have _something_ going for him in this tough world. Also, Charles Dickens just happened to be Blaine's favorite author. He had read _A Christmas Carol _every single December growing up, and _Great Expectations_ had just about changed his life when he picked it up in high school. He had felt like Pip sometimes. So misunderstood and like all of society was out to get him. So Charles had seemed like the perfect name, especially since there was the nickname of Charlie and it just seemed to fit the little guy the moment Blaine said it. He could've sworn Charlie sighed in contentment.

Now, Blaine felt incredibly on edge, as he stood in the middle of JFK with people swarming around him frantically, the tiny infant and him lost in a sea of people, all babbling in different languages, dragging along bulky luggage, and shoving anyone who got in their way. Whoever had told him it would be a good idea to fly with an 8 week old was absolutely out of their mind. Blaine found the whole experience nerve-wracking. Fortunately the flight from Ohio to New York City wasn't incredibly long. Blaine had seen the expressions of wariness and even outright loathing as soon as he had entered the plane with Charlie in tow. Nobody wanted to fly with a baby, and Blaine had always sympathized right along with those people. But now that it was _himself_ with the baby, it was a whole different animal. He prayed to God that Charlie wouldn't start crying during the flight. In fact, it'd be lovely if he just slept the whole way.

But of course, that hadn't been the case. A few minutes after take off, as the plane began to reach new heights and new levels of air pressure, the painful tension in Charlie's little ears woke him up and he decided to announce his discomfort to the rest of the passengers on the plane with an ear-shattering scream. Blaine had been beyond embarrassed but nothing at all that he could do seemed to calm Charlie down. At least the lady seated next to him had been kind. She had been older, close to her sixties maybe, and clucked her tongue softly as Charlie settled into a stream of steady weeping, snot getting all over Blaine's sweater.

"Poor Dear. I can't say I blame him. I don't like flying very much either," she said sympathetically, smiling a little bit at Blaine, whose eyes were wary and tired.

"Does he cry often?"

"All the time," Blaine said with a slight groan. "It's been two months since I've had more than a consecutive hour's worth of sleep."

"Ah, I remember those days all too well. I know it's exhausting but- don't wish it away too fast. Hard as it is to believe, you'll find yourself missing it someday. Sooner than you think. You'll even miss the crying," she said with a slight laugh.

Blaine smiled back. "I guess we'll see about that."

"Where's his mother?" The woman inquired, then added, "If you don't mind my asking. You look awfully young to have a son."

"He's not mine." Blaine shook his head. The woman looked at him in confusion.

"Well, I mean, he _is _mine. But I adopted him. I guess he hasn't really got a mother."

"You _adopted _him? Why on earth? How old are you Young Man?"

"Eighteen," Blaine answered, ducking his head in embarrassment as a bright blush spread across his cheeks.

The woman exhaled loudly. "Eighteen. My God. The children these days. Why you really are just a kid yourself. Please tell me this isn't some new trend Oprah's doing an expose on or something. Teenagers adopting babies. After that teen pregnancy pact? It's just all too much."

Blaine chucked tiredly. "No, no, it's not a pact. I did it as sort of a- favor to a friend. He and his girlfriend couldn't keep Charlie, but, well, something told me I was meant to have him, to take care of him. So here we are." Blaine leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to the soft skin that covered the top of Charlie's fragile skull. It was covered with almost platinum blonde downy wisps, and Charlie had the biggest baby blues Blaine thought he'd ever seen.

"That is quite an amazing commitment," the woman said, and Blaine couldn't tell if that was disapproval in her voice or shocked admiration, or both. "Now how do you plan to support him?"

"Well, I've got plenty of money in my trust fund to support him once I turn 21, but I'm hoping not to have to dip into most of that. I'd like to put it away for his college fund if he wants. So for now, I have a sizeable chunk of money I made working my tail off a home for the past several months. And when we get to the city, I have some friends to stay with until I can get on my feet. So I'll be fine."

The woman smiled but didn't look so convinced. "I do hope you have some saint of a girlfriend running around somewhere in the city, just waiting to take you and this little sweetheart under her arm. A baby needs a mother's love you know. And a man needs a good woman to take care of him, at that."

Blaine felt himself flushing awkwardly. He'd been out and proud for years now, but it was still always awkward when the subject came up around strangers. He could never know how they would take it when he revealed that he was gay. And if this woman was disgusted by him, it could make for a hell of an awkward remaining plane ride.

"I don't have any girlfriend," he replied, shaking his head. "I'm actually single right now. But an ex of mine lives in the city, so I'm going to see if we might be able to work things out." Blaine was careful to avoid using pronouns. He felt cowardly, and ashamed of himself, because he knew he had gone out of his way to hide it, but now that he had Charlie, he was even more aware of the hate that could be directed at gays. It seemed like there was a special brand of hate reserved for gay dads. And as much as he had always been a passionate believer in proclaiming his sexuality to the world so that they would know he was not ashamed, having a child changed everything. Now, everything that Blaine did was in order to protect Charlie, or revolved around how it might affect Charlie. He knew that his son would have a harder life than other kids, just because his dad was gay, but he wanted to try to shield him from the hate as long as he possibly could. He shook his head and sighed to himself. He was already becoming a protective father.

He had almost forgotten about the woman seated next to him, so lost as Blaine was in his reverie, until she opened her mouth in response to his statement. "Well for you and that baby's sake, I hope things work out with your ex. It's pure hell trying to be a single parent these days. Believe me I know."

"Thanks," Blaine said, biting back a sigh, because her words hadn't really held much of the encouragement that the woman seemed to have thought they would. He snuggled Charlie in closer to his chest and gently stroked the top of the infant's head. Charlie had finally begun to slow his wailing somewhat, he was now only letting out a soft cry. Most of the passengers had their complementary headphones on by now. Blaine was grateful for that.

"Shh Baby Boy," he whispered soothingly, continuing to caress his son's hair. "We'll be there soon. We're going to love it there. I can already tell. There are parks to play in and so many people to see and…well I just know everyone's going to fall in love with you."

By everyone of course, Blaine only meant one person. But he didn't dare say his name out loud. He still wasn't sure if this was the best or most completely idiotic idea he had ever had in his life, but he supposed he would find out soon enough. It was his last chance to fix things, to win back the love of his life. His ex-boyfriend didn't have a particular adoration for babies necessarily, but Blaine wasn't sure how anybody could say no to Charlie when they looked into that sweet little face, or felt his tiny fingers wrap trustingly around theirs. Then again, he was probably biased. But he had to hope. Had to hope that once the older boy saw Blaine, saw him with a baby, being so responsible and needing his help, that his heart would soften and he would let him back in. He could only hope.

Now, looking around crowded JFK, Blaine was feeling overwhelmed not only by all of the people, but by the speedily dwindling hours until he would be standing in front of that door where he had spent so many heartbreaking moments standing this whole past year. What if he was rejected immediately, without even a second glance? Where would he go? It was true he had the trust fund money, but he wouldn't have access to it for another almost three years. And while he had saved up all that money while working at home, he knew that New York City was expensive and it wouldn't be long before the money was gone completely. It would've been much smarter to get an apartment in Lima and simply try to raise Charlie there, where he had a support system he could easily fall back on whenever necessary. But Blaine needed a new start, and Charlie was only part of it. They both deserved to have a bigger life than the one that had been mapped out for them, and New York City seemed like the perfect place to start.

"Now if only your daddy could just man up and go talk to his old friends," Blaine said to Charlie, who was sleeping contentedly now against his chest. Blaine had developed this habit quickly, of constantly talking to Charlie, almost more to comfort himself than really to try and communicate with the baby. Charlie was really all he had anymore. His parents had officially cut ties with him once they discovered his plan's to adopt his best friend's baby and move to New York. They weren't so cruel as to dissemble his trust fund; it remained in tact and waiting for him when the time came, but he could only access it on the condition that he never contacted or came to his parents for anything else ever again. They wanted nothing to do with their gay son who had fully embraced his disgusting lifestyle, despite the fact that the boy he had been "dating" had dumped him months ago. And more than that, they definitely wanted nothing to do with the bastard excuse for a grandchild that wasn't even related to them and wasn't even really Blaine's. That had been the last straw and Blaine had walked out gratefully then, not once looking back. People who didn't accept his son as part of their lives were people he didn't want in his life anyway.

x-x-x-x-x-x

Kurt Hummel was in a hurry that morning. It was the end of August and he was all in a flurry. Term would be starting up at NYADA again soon and right now he was trying to prepare for the fall semester as well as continue to throw himself into his internship at Vogue dot come, which was looking like it might turn into a job offer any day now. Kurt wasn't sure if he would accept, but his time spent at Vogue would certainly look good on his resume, and no one would be able to deny how impressive it was that a 19-year-old had been offered a permanent position at Vogue dot com, regardless of whether or not he took it.

Meanwhile, his roommate Rachel was driving him crazy. Ever since she had broken up with her boyfriend Brody, and their third roommate Santana had moved out, she had really gone off the deep end, consuming herself with her work even more than usual. It was constant singing and dancing and practicing and rehearing and just tense, tense energy in their apartment. Kurt wasn't sure how much more of it he could handle.

While he had initially been reluctant to have Santana move in, he had come to enjoy her presence in their home and now had to admit that he actually missed having her around. She was entertaining and fun; they surprisingly had a lot of the same interests, and since the love of her life was far away back in Ohio too, she and Kurt could really relate to each other. They had actually gotten quite close while she had been living with them, after a few initial setbacks. But then, during a visit to her parents several months ago, Santana had returned to New York with a smile on her face, tears glistening in her usually hardened coffee-colored eyes.

"Brittany and I are back together," was all she would say, giving out no other details to her two overly-curious roommates.

"But how? Why?" Kurt asked. By going and dating Sam, Brittany had betrayed Santana in almost the same way that Blaine had betrayed Kurt. He couldn't help but feel a little bit like Santana was being a traitor, just taking her ex back like that with no questions or qualms. They had bonded over being mutually mistreated and now- she was just running back to Brittany like nothing had ever happened? Kurt knew it was stupid, but he was hurt in spite of himself. And it didn't help that Santana wouldn't reveal any further information.

"Brittany needs me right now. She still loves me. And I still love her. Nothing else matters. I need to be with her. I love you guys, but I have to go. I promise we'll come visit," she had said with a smile as she swept all of her things into suitcases.

"I can't believe you're doing this!" Kurt had yelled at her as she packed, unable to contain his sense of betrayal and fury any longer. "She hurt you Santana!"

"That doesn't mean I stopped loving her," Santana answered with a shrug. "And tell me honestly Kurt, if Blaine needed you right now, would you really deny him? No, I don't believe you'd be able to. No matter what he's done to you, you still love him Kurt. Don't lie to yourself. And don't blame me. You'd do the exact same thing in my situation. I know you would."

"Well I can't _really_ answer that, because you won't actually tell me your situation," Kurt pointed out bitterly. "But I can pretty much guarantee you I wouldn't take Blaine back, no matter what happened to him. He broke me. He lost all of my trust, forever. I can't just forget about that. I can't put myself in that position again. It's weak. I would've expected better from you Santana."

"See, that's where you and I differ, Hummel. I've always believed love was stronger than everything else, strong enough to conquer all things. It took me a while to learn that lesson, but the truth of it is that as long as I love Brittany, I'll always take her back. No matter what. Otherwise, I'd only be hurting myself." She gave Kurt's shoulder a friendly squeeze and headed into the bathroom to gather up her toiletries and cosmetics. Kurt had remained standing there, lost in heavy thought, wondering if what Santana said was really true, and by not forgiving Blaine and letting him back into his life, he was really just hurting himself more than Blaine already had.

Of course, that had been months ago, and now it was nearly autumn again. Kurt didn't know why he still found himself dwelling on that conversation occasionally. He hadn't seen Blaine since February and the lack of contact between the two of them since led Kurt to believe that Blaine had finally and officially moved on. Even if Kurt _was_ only hurting himself by denying forgiveness, he was pretty sure there was no one standing there asking for it anymore.

Which was fine, really, he thought to himself as he shook himself out of his thoughts. He had more important things to worry about anyway. Like managing to stay sane until school started up again and not killing Rachel somewhere along the way. He had no time to worry about boyfriends; that was a luxury he'd save for when he was older and more established. His current flame, Adam, was fun but still not anything very serious. Kurt wasn't really willing to admit it to himself, but ultimately he and Adam weren't moving in a more committed direction because there just wasn't that spark, wasn't that _thing_ that made him weak in the knees, that made him know it would be worth it, even if times got difficult. There wasn't that _thing_ that he had always had with Blaine.

Kurt sighed and pinched himself lightly to force him to stop thinking about these things. He knew going down this path wasn't healthy. It was what had caused him to have an unhealthy several-month-long relationship with a pillow named Bruce that was in the shape of a shoulder and arm and could thus hold him and make him feel comforted in times of loneliness. He had been forced to throw Bruce away after a particularly depressing drunken night which ended with a broken cocktail glass, six stitches in Kurt's left hand, and a blood and rum-stained Bruce that would not clean up no matter how many times Kurt ran him through the wash.

Kurt went to pour himself a cup of coffee from the pot freshly brewing on the counter. He had made enough so that Rachel could have some as well, although he wasn't really sure whether giving the high-strung girl caffeine was really what she needed, but she insisted and was vicious when denied. Kurt had just sat down with his bare feet propped lightly on the coffee table and tugged his MacBook onto his lap when Rachel waltzed into the room in a silk bathrobe with her hair wrapped high on her head in a towel, turban-style. She was singing into a hairbrush absentmindedly the notes of a song from _Funny Girl_ and poured herself the remainder of the coffee which she then proceeded to load with a vegan sugar substitute before swigging some down, not bothering to wait for it to cool. She walked over to the couch and gave Kurt a quick kiss on the cheek as a thank you for the coffee and then in a flash was back in her room, singing loudly and dressing for her day.

Kurt relaxed into the couch and began typing on his laptop, glad that Rachel was almost out of the apartment for the day. As much as he loved his best friend, she could really get to be annoying after a while, especially when he was trying to work from home, which today he was. He tried to concentrate on the screen in front of him over the sound of her singing but it proved impossibly. So instead he just sighed and decided to flip through the new Alexander McQueen catalog until she left and he could get some real work done.

What seemed like an age later, Rachel was swooping out the door, her handbag exploding with its various contents, her light summer jacket flapping behind her, long luxurious dark hair cascading down her back. She really was a presence to behold and Kurt was glad to know her. But he couldn't help but exhale a large sigh of relief as she vacated the apartment.

After he had finally settled in with his computer, Kurt heard a knock on his door. He groaned in frustration. At this rate he was never going to get anything done all day. Rachel must have forgotten something, _again_. He was going to have to have a strict talk with her about respecting each other's space, especially when he was trying to work from home.

But when Kurt stumbled in a sleepy, frustrated stupor to open the apartment door, it was not Rachel who stood there, but someone entirely different. It was Blaine.

x-x-x-x-x-x

Blaine was nervous as he approached the door behind which he knew would be Kurt, but his nerves before ringing the buzzer were nothing compared to the way his stomach did a series of somersaults when his ex-boyfriend actually appeared in front of him. Kurt stood before him, glasses perched on the edge of his nose, his hair sexily tousled with only a mild amount of product, wearing a loose pair of sweatpants that he all but made up for with his oh-so-tight wife beater. Blaine continued staring, his mouth gone completely dry. Kurt had gotten taller since he'd last seen him, leaner, and more muscular. His cheekbones were more defined and his hair had grown. It was wilder and more ostentatiously styled in a manner that Blaine couldn't help but drool slightly over. It had also grown lighter over the summer months. God, Kurt was even more gorgeous than he remembered him being, if it was possible.

"Blaine," Kurt said, his voice having gone up a few octaves in surprise.

"It's me," Blaine said with a shaky chuckle.

"It is you. Wow. Uhm…" Kurt seemed to be trying to think when he suddenly noticed the bundle strapped to Blaine's chest. "Oh my God. Oh my God. Is that a…"

"Kurt, this is Charlie," Blaine said, indicating toward the baby who was sleeping peacefully against him.

"Blaine." Kurt had visibly blanched. "Please…please tell me that…that baby isn't yours."

"Oh God no!" Blaine said quickly. "I mean, he _is_ mine. But through adoption."

"What?" The confusion on Kurt's face was evident and when Kurt got excessively confused, he also tended to get annoyed.

"Can we come inside?" Blaine asked softly. "I'll explain everything. It's just, he probably needs to eat."

"Oh sure, sure, come on in. Sorry," Kurt said awkwardly, standing aside so that Blaine and the baby could enter.

"You have great timing," he began to ramble as he led the way into the living room. "Rachel just left for the day so you won't have to deal with her. Do you want anything? Coffee? Tea? Does- does the baby need anything?" Kurt didn't know anything about babies, except that they tended to be messy, always excreting some form of bodily fluid from _some _orifice of their bodies. He usually avoided them because he didn't want to get anything on his expensive clothes. Blaine's baby, at least, seemed to be sleeping quietly, and wasn't wet, at least right now. _Blaine's baby_. The words rang in Kurt's head again. He still couldn't process it. He was shocked.

Blaine sat down tentatively on the edge of the couch and removed the sling from his body, extracting the baby and moving him into a position where he was cradled against Blaine's chest. Charlie sighed contentedly, slipping his thumb into his mouth. Kurt felt his heart catch in his throat. He couldn't believe that here he was, Blaine, his ex-boyfriend, the one-time love of his life, sitting here with a _baby_.

"I'm going to make more coffee!" he said jumping up suddenly, unable to take the tension of the situation anymore.

"Oh no, that's fine Kurt," Blaine said, ever the gentleman. "I'm really all set."

"Well _I _could definitely use some more," Kurt said, making his way to the kitchen where he started clattering around in search of the coffee grounds and a filter, trying to make as much noise and give himself as much time for distraction as possible.

This was just all too much to handle.

Blaine, showing up literally at his doorstep, nearly seven months after they had last spoken, looking more devastatingly handsome than ever, and with a _baby_ in tow? Blaine, Kurt's Blaine, had adopted a baby. A baby! There was no way he would've done something like that by himself. It must mean he was seeing someone else, and it was serious. And this was Blaine's way of breaking the news to Kurt. Which was thoughtful of him but- good God, this was sheer insanity. How could all of this have happened so fast? Blaine had just graduated from high school for Christ's sakes! And not that it mattered to Kurt if Blaine was seeing someone else, because it _didn't_, but why on earth had he decided to bring a kid into the mix. And then rub it in Kurt's face this way? _I'm happy and you're not. I have someone and you're alone. _

The coffee finished brewing and Kurt quickly pulled out two mugs, pouring the steaming liquid in each and then fixing Blaine's coffee the way he remembered him always having taken it. Then again, who knew what else might have changed in these seven months?

"Here, this is yours," Kurt set the hot cup down on a coaster on the coffee table because Blaine's arms were rather preoccupied at the moment. He took a sip from his own mug and tried to calm his nerves and brace himself for whatever confession was about to come.

Blaine reached for his coffee and took a small sip. "You made it just the way I like it," he said softly.

"Of course I did," Kurt scoffed, breaking the would-be tenderness of the moment. "Now would you mind, please, explaining…_this." _He gestured at the child in Blaine's arms.

"Right. Yes," Blaine set his coffee cup down in embarrassment, almost as if he had forgotten. "Charlie is Brittany and Sam's."

Kurt almost choked on his own beverage. "You're kidding me."

"On the contrary," Blaine said with a wry chuckle. "I couldn't make this stuff up."

"So that's why Santana had to leave all mysteriously like that. Brittany was pregnant."

"Right," Blaine said. "And she decided then that she wasn't ready to be a mother. She wanted to give birth to the baby and then leave the decision about what to do with him up to Sam."

Kurt shook his head. "I can't believe she would ditch Sam like this."

"Sometimes, when something really major happens in your life, it makes you realize what's most important to you. And for Britt, that was Santana. She was in love with her, Kurt. In the end, she had to be with her or she would've been lying to herself."

Kurt looked at Blaine, a little shocked at the words of wisdom coming out of his ex-boyfriend's mouth, and then even more shocked as the realization hit him again that Blaine was here, in his living room, with a baby.

But Blaine was _here_. Looking at him.

"That's a really great piece of wisdom Blaine, but it still doesn't explain why you're sitting in my apartment in New York with their baby."

"Well that's just it. Major things make you realize what's important. And I've been thinking a lot lately about that. And what I realized was most important to me was…being there for people. Being the right guy, the good guy, the best guy I could be. Taking care of someone else. When I realized that Sam was going to sacrifice his future all for the sake of this little baby, I knew I couldn't let it go. I was meant to take Charlie. I was meant to take care of him."

The tenderness that had manifested itself so clearly in Blaine's eyes at the mention of Charlie struck Kurt like an arrow to his heart. He had always known Blaine had a tender side but this- this was something he had never seen before. He couldn't help but think that it was insanely attractive.

"Forgive me Blaine, but I'm still having a little trouble wrapping my head around this. You just _adopted _a _baby_. By yourself? What on earth were you thinking? You have a future too you know!"

"My future was never really set in stone," Blaine said shaking his head. "Honestly, I had no idea what I was going to do when I graduated…except that I wanted to find you," he murmured at the end shyly, looking now at the floor.

Kurt took a sip of his coffee quickly to hide his blush and give him time to think of something to say.

"Well…I guess you've found something to occupy yourself with now," he nodded at the sleeping infant.

"He's more than an occupation," Blaine answered, staring down at the little boy fondly. "He's my life."

Kurt cleared his throat awkwardly. "That's…nice," he said half-heartedly. In his head he couldn't help but think about the fact that here Blaine was, committing his entire young life to a baby, and he hadn't been able to stay committed to Kurt for much longer than a few months after their relationship turned long-distance. "Blaine I-"

"Kurt-"

They both stopped, blushing, having gone to speak at the same time.

"You go first," Kurt offered, because he really still wasn't sure what to say.

"Alright," Blaine said taking a deep breath and a swallow so that his Adam's apple bobbed visibly in his throat, making Kurt's own breath catch in his. "I know this isn't really fair Kurt; I know it's a hell of a lot to ask of you but I…I need…"

"You need a place to stay," Kurt finished for him.

"Right." Blaine nodded slowly, almost fearfully. "My parents- well, they kicked me out after I took Charlie, but even if they hadn't, I was looking to leave."

"Okay." The words were out of Kurt's mouth before he even had time to think about what he was saying.

"What?"

"Okay, you can stay."

"Kurt, are you sure? I mean you haven't even thought about this, I haven't even explained my plan yet or what's happened or-"

Kurt had to bite his lip a little to keep from smiling at the way his ex-boyfriend was rambling in that typical flustered way he'd always had, because it hurt too much.

"It's okay Blaine. You don't have to explain anything. You can stay."

"But, I mean, this is really a big deal. Charlie- he cries at night, he's going to wake you up, you won't get a good night's sleep for months. You'll be grumpy, and annoyed and start to resent him…"

"Blaine." Kurt leaned forward, pressing a finger against Blaine's lips. He knew this was a dangerous move, for him at least. He was touching Blaine's lips again, feeling their soft plumpness against his fingertip, his warm breath just barely ghosting against his skin. He wanted so badly in that moment to do nothing more than take Blaine into his arms again, kiss those soft, untouched lips absolutely senseless, feel that strong body melt into his arms once more. He physically _ached_ to have him there, close to him again. He had never known how much a body could miss another body until he and Blaine had said goodbye.

Oh God. This was a terrible idea. If he wasn't careful, he would undo the months of hard work he had suffered trying to get beyond Blaine, all in a just a moment of indiscretion. He felt his eyes glazing a bit as he stared heavily into the hazel-amber ones that he had dreamed of on so many sleepless nights, that had always held such trust and comfort and safety in them, such love.

"I want you to stay, ok?" He said, pulling his finger away from Blaine, his hand and body suddenly feeling overwhelmingly cold at the lack of contact.

"Okay." Kurt saw physical relief course through Blaine as his shoulders slumped out of their tense state and he relaxed slightly against the couch. "Thank you Kurt." His voice sounded shaky almost, so full of exhaustion and resignation and something else strange that Kurt couldn't place.

"Of course. Did you really think I would turn you away?" Kurt asked disbelievingly. Blaine just sheepishly shrugged his shoulders.

"Blaine, you have to know, I'll always be here for you, as your friend. No matter what has happened between us, I'm always going to be here."

Blaine smiled a bit timidly. "You don't know how good it is to hear you say that. I felt so confident about this plan right until I found myself standing in front of your door. And all of a sudden, I started to panic a little bit. I didn't think you were capable of turning someone in need away, but then, I wouldn't really have blamed you if you wanted to turn me away." Blaine shrugged his shoulders again. "To be honest, I really wasn't sure what I was going to do if you _did_ turn me away."

Kurt looked at him in slight awe. "You had that much faith in me?"

"I've always had faith in you Kurt. You have to know that by now."

The words were spoken with such honest simplicity, a frankness in Blaine's voice that implied that he had not even thought twice about it, that he had no ulterior motive in saying it or underlying meaning, it was simply fact in his mind. Kurt looked away quickly, unable to control his own reactions to Blaine's words. God, how was it possible that this boy could still do these things to him?

They were interrupted by a sudden knock on the door and then a lock turning in the keyhole.

"Honey, I'm home," a voice called playfully from the small foyer of the apartment. There was a slight thumping sound of a bag falling to the floor and Kurt's face paled, his stomach dropping as he recognized the voice.

He jumped up from the couch.

"Adam!" He said, walking quickly over to the blonde British boy who was standing in the doorframe of the living room holding a brown paper bag and a tray with two coffee cups in it.

"Hello Handsome," Adam said, leaning in for a kiss which Kurt accepted briefly but quickly broke away from.

"I'm sorry," Adam said in that disgustingly charming accent, as soon as he noticed Kurt wasn't alone in the room. "Am I interrupting something?"

The comment coming from anyone else might have sounded snarky but Adam's voice was dripping with politeness. Blaine felt his stomach clench in jealousy that he knew he had no right to feel.

"No not at all," Kurt said a bit breathlessly. "Adam, this is my old friend, Blaine and his son, Charlie. Blaine, this is my uh- Adam."

"Pleasure to meet you," Adam said, leaning forward to give Blaine's free hand a quick, strong pump. Blaine had noticed how Adam's eyes narrowed when he heard Blaine's name. Kurt had only referred to him as an old _friend_, which he had to admit stung a little bit, but he hadn't referred to Adam as his boyfriend either. And either way, it was clear from Adam's expression that he knew who Blaine was. His face had softened a bit though when Kurt mentioned Charlie. The fact that Blaine had a son seemed to make him automatically no longer a threat. Blaine knew he should be grateful to earn Adam's trust but instead it just pissed him off that he had been dismissed so quickly.

"Likewise," Blaine told him in a clipped tone, holding his gaze in a very purposeful manner.

"Right. Well. I've brought breakfast Sweetheart, since I knew you were working from home today but I'm afraid I've only got enough for two. Have you eaten Blaine?"

"Oh, I'm fine."

"No, no," Kurt insisted. "You must've had a long day, travelling with that little guy. You have to eat something."

"He's right you know," Adam said, wrapping an arm around Kurt's waist and pulling him into his body affectionately. "My baby's a smart one."

"Adam," Kurt chastised, blushing visibly.

"Don't be shy Darling, can you blame me if I want to declare to the world how wonderful my boyfriend is? I'm sure Blaine knows what I'm talking about." Adam winked, giving Blaine a very pointed look. Blaine's neck snapped up, unbelieving at the words that had just left Adam's lips. He hadn't really just said that, had he? God, this was such an awful idea, intruding on Kurt's life like this. He had been _hoping_, foolishly he knew, that Adam, whom Kurt had been seeing since before Valentine's Day at least, was long gone by now, but clearly that was not the case.

"That's enough Adam," Kurt said in embarrassment, but Blaine could tell he really wasn't all that bothered by Adam's flirting, if the pleasure laced through his chastisement was any indication.

"Look, I really ought to get out of you guys' way," Blaine said, trying to smile politely though he was dying a bit inside. He stood up, Charlie protesting slightly at the movement with a slight mew.

"Nonsense!" Adam declared. "You're visiting with an old friend. I'd never forgive myself for ruining your visit. Here." He walked over to where Blaine was standing tentatively and took hold of his arm, gently pushing him back onto the couch. "You sit down. Kurt's right, you must be exhausted. Have this coffee. It's black; you can add cream or sugar as you like." Blaine took the coffee that was thrust at him, feeling as though he had no other option.

"And Baby, here's yours," Adam said, handing the other cup to Kurt with a kiss on the cheek.

"I've already had two cups this morning!" Kurt protested.

"Well let's call it three," Adam responded simply. "Now, I'm afraid all I've brought for breakfast are these scones from the bakery down the street, and really, compared to the scones in Britain, they're rather rubbish. I'll go into the kitchen and whip up something proper while you two continue talking and then we'll all sit down and have a nice breakfast and that way, I can get to know Blaine. It's about time, don't you think Sweets?" he asked, directing this last comment at Kurt.

_Good God, this guy was a piece of work_, Blaine thought to himself. Charming, polite, absolutely sickening with his syrupy nicknames and endearments toward Kurt, and his absolute insistence on being a complete gentleman and making breakfast for them all. That clichéd saying about keeping your friends close and enemies closer came unbidden to Blaine's mind. Clever man. He certainly knew how to play his cards to keep Kurt in his arms. If only Blaine had been smart enough to do the same when he had the chance.

"Alright," Kurt acquiesced, clearly realizing, as Blaine also had, that Adam would not take no for an answer.

"Lovely. You like omelets Blaine?" Adam asked as he made his way to the kitchen.

"Sure," Blaine called, not mentioning that he felt too sick to his stomach to eat anything.

Winning Kurt back was not going to be nearly as simple as he had hoped it would be.

* * *

**Normally I never write at the end but I just want to say: doesn't Adam make you furious? The worst part about him is that he's so hard to hate! Trust me, in no universe do I ship Kadam, but this story is labelled angsty for a reason. Don't fret my precious ones! Also, we will get more logistics about the adoption and Kurt and Blaine's new living arrangement in the next chapter [plus ever-building sexual tension yayyyy], but for now, I just needed an introductory type of chapter. Hope you enjoyed :)**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: OK so I really have huge MEGA apologies to all of you for not having this done sooner. I promise that as soon as my semester ends, I will be so much better about updating. There will be NO story abandoning, I can promise you that. I'm really enjoying writing this and can't wait for things to heat up and I hope you all agree. The main reason it took so long was honestly just life took over in some major, insane, kind of awful ways. But things are looking better now, and Klaine is therapy :) I love you all so much. Thank for you following and favoriting, even as this tale is still in the very early stages. If you get bored waiting for updates, I'd encourage you to check out my Klaine one-shot based on the Shooting Star episode or better yet, my Klaine AU story Standing Outside A Southern Riot. Just some suggestions :)**

**I don't know if I _really_ need to say this but I don't own anything kay? I mean I own my writing but that's it. Props to Ryan Murphy and his crew for everything else.**

**Also this chapter is dedicated to user Jasanin for reasons that she knows. I love you MORE than words could ever ever say okay Buddy? I really love you a lot. And I miss you.**

**Alright that's all. Review, favorite, follow, whatever strikes your fancy! I'll adore you forever! xoxoxox always.**

* * *

Kurt sighed and ran a hand through his chestnut-brown hair as he stood in the doorway of the kitchen, watching his current boyfriend flipping omelets while his former boyfriend fed a small infant from a bottle in the living room. Here he stood, literally with one foot in both worlds. What a fucked up picture of domestic bliss this was. Here were two men, two men he had loved, had been with, could see himself with, right here in his home. He had never felt so confused or stressed out in his life. So much for getting a lot of work done this morning.

Blaine finished feeding Charlie before long and then the young man instantly had a white and blue patterned cloth spread against his shoulder. He gently shifted Charlie so that the baby, clad in a blue onesie and matching hat, was now resting against his shoulder. He began softly patting his back. Kurt felt his mouth go dry a little bit at the image of his ex interacting with the child in a way that was loving, so sure, so _fatherly_. It made his heart skip a beat. He had always known Blaine had been a tender soul underneath it all but still, he had never anticipated this side of him. It was all the more strange because Blaine had such a strained relationship with his own father. But maybe that was the reason he was all the more attentive and caring for the little boy whom he now called his own. He wouldn't make the same mistakes his own dad had, Kurt was sure of that.

He was startled out of his reverie- which was quickly shifting to a dangerous fantasy in which he and Blaine were fathers together, living in a big blue house with a huge garden and covered in vines, maybe having a big fluffy dog, raising their kids together, with lots of love and laughter, their lives suspiciously resembling a Hallmark commercial- when he felt hands encircle him from behind. Kurt jumped a few inches and a startled _shit! _escaped his lips.

"Well now someone is awfully jumpy this morning," Adam breathed, ghosting light kisses over the side of Kurt's pale neck, nibbling a bit on his earlobe. Kurt was instantly uncomfortable. Blaine was directly in the next room and could easily see them if he looked up, though ensconced in Charlie as he was, it was unlikely.

"Sorry," Kurt mumbled in apology. "It's just been a weird morning."

"Oh I don't doubt it. A bit freaky, must be, having your ex pop up with a baby and all. Has he got a boyfriend stashed away somewhere or did he go straight after you broke his heart?" Adam grinned wickedly. "Can't say I'd blame him. I think you leaving a fellow would be enough to make him swear off men altogether."

"Shut up!" Kurt scolded, playfully elbowing Adam in the ribs. "He doesn't have a girlfriend, I'm pretty sure. I don't know about a boyfriend…" he mused, drifting off then, wondering if Blaine _did _have somebody somewhere, although it seemed very unlikely, since he had asked Kurt for a place to stay. Still, that didn't necessarily mean anything.

"How long's he going to be in the city?" Adam inquired and Kurt felt himself tensing immediately. How on earth was he going to admit to his boyfriend that he agreed to let his ex and his _baby_ live with him? Adam would never go for it. He wasn't the suspicious type, but that didn't mean he didn't get jealous. Kurt took a deep breath.

"I don't know for sure, to be honest. But Adam," he turned around in the British man's arms, meeting his blue-eyed gaze head-on. "He's going to be staying here with me and Rachel for a little while, just while he gets on his feet. The baby's a lot to handle." He gulped after he said it, not at all sure how his boyfriend would take his words.

Adam didn't say anything for a while, though his brow furrowed slightly beneath the fringe of blonde hair that was poking out from underneath his adorable blue beanie. _God, he really was cute_, Kurt thought. It would be foolish to lose him over something like this. He didn't want to let down Blaine, but he vowed to himself right there and then that he wouldn't let this situation put his relationship with Adam in jeopardy.

Finally Adam spoke, comforted somewhat by the worry that was obvious in Kurt's wide blue-green eyes. "I suppose that's what I get as punishment for picking a boyfriend with such a bloody big heart." He sighed but there was a smile creeping on his face. "You really are too wonderful, do you know that Kurt Hummel?"

Kurt giggled a bit as Adam leaned down to dust his nose against his own in a tender but teasing Eskimo kiss. "As long as he doesn't stay _too_ long, or get in the way of our, y'know, sexy time," Adam whispered against Kurt's forehead, winking.

The sound of a throat clearing behind them made them both jump this time and Kurt wondered how many times one could survive being startled like this before suffering some sort of coronary attack.

"Blaine!" he said and cursed his voice for being several octaves higher than normal.

"Hey guys, I hate to interrupt. I just want to say- I understand that you're dating now and I want you to know that I have nothing but the utmost respect for your relationship. I would never want to do anything to impose on it or threaten it. If that means that living with Kurt isn't a viable option, I understand. Charlie and I will find somewhere else. I just don't want to be the cause of any problems at all; I want that to be clear from the get-go."

"Oh Blaine," Adam said with a smile, reaching over to ruffle the boy's hair mildly. Blaine had stopped using quite so much gel in it, which Kurt hadn't been able to help but notice was very attractive, but the young man still didn't appreciate the patronizing gesture. "Blaine, Blainey, Blainers. Is Blaine short for anything?" Adam continued, frowning in thought.

"No, I'm afraid it's just Blaine," the curly-haired men said through his teeth. Adam didn't notice his annoyance.

"Well it's quite a fun name isn't it. I'll have to come up with some suitable nicknames. But anyway, it really is precious that you're so concerned for me and Kurt, but really, you have no reason to worry. We're fine. We have such a solid and loving relationship, don't we Love?" he said, turning to Kurt. Kurt nodded, saying nothing. Inside he was trying not to admit to himself that he was actually feeling a bit stung by Blaine's declaration. Which was incredibly foolish and stupid, he knew.

"So you see, we don't have to worry about jealousy issues or anything like that coming between us," Adam continued. "But it's sweet of you to worry. Now say, it's an awful thing to be stuck as a single parent, a boy so young and attractive as yourself. I understand you are a very talented musician." He clucked his tongue. "Such a shame to have to throw it all away. I do hope you don't have some arse of a ex-boyfriend who just knocked you up left?" He laughed a little at his own stupid joke, but his eyes were fixated on Blaine, clearly expecting a legitimate answer about his situation.

Blaine hesitated. This was awkward. And a bit embarrassing. He _wished_ he'd had some boyfriend who'd left him. But there had been no one, no one serious anyway, not since Kurt. And he knew for sure there wouldn't be. He bit his lip. It was impossible to avoid it now. "Nope, nothing quite as exciting as that. I actually just adopted him from some friends who weren't planning on him and weren't able to take care of him."

"My God!" Adam exclaimed in that accent that was quickly beginning to grate on Blaine's nerves. "Aren't you just a darling! Kurt! You never told me that your ex was such a humanitarian," he said, chastising the chestnut-haired young man lightly. "You just cannot be for real!" he said, addressing Blaine once again.

Blaine shifted, uncomfortable with all the positive attention currently coming from Adam. Charlie was getting heavy in his arms and he had really just come in her to wet the towel so he could wipe some stray spit-up from his shirt.

"Well I am," he said awkwardly. "One-hundred percent."

"So do you really mean to tell me that your friend gets pregnant and you just- you just step on in, all knight in shining armor and sweep the baby up, sacrificing your future for theirs entirely in the process?"

"Adam-" Kurt protested lightly.

"No, no," Adam held up his hand to stop Kurt. "This boy needs to be recognized. That act is an act of unspeakably selfless, courageous proportions. You deserve a medal my boy!"

"Thanks," Blaine said, trying not to sound sarcastic, but he really didn't appreciate Adam's excessive praising, which felt insincere.

"Adam, I'm sure Blaine's awfully tired from the flight and everything. We should let him eat his breakfast and settle in. No more third degree," Kurt warned as he walked over to the omelets that had been set to cool on plates and leaned over to place one on the table. "You sit here Blaine. Let me take Charlie," Kurt reached to take the resting infant from Blaine.

Blaine visibly hesitated. "He's- he's heavy, Kurt. I can hold him, really. He's just sleeping."

"Come on Blaine," Kurt frowned. Blaine's protectiveness was sweet, but also a little offensive. As if he wasn't capable of holding a baby. "I'm not going to break him. Just let me take him for a few moments and give yourself a break. Trust me," he spoke these last words with a deep, meaningful look into Blaine's honey-colored eyes.

Blaine felt the hurt boiling deep inside his stomach. The way Kurt said _trust me_ and looked into his eyes, it was obvious he was thinking about how Blaine had cheated on him back in the fall, reminding Blaine that _Kurt_ wasn't the one who couldn't be trusted but rather, Blaine had long ago proved himself to be that person.

"Don't blame me if he drools on your clothes," Blaine said but Kurt just scoffed.

"It's a freaking tank top Blaine. Relax." He held out his arms, and Blaine handed Charlie over, somewhat reluctantly but meeting Kurt's eyes as he did, which reminded him that if he could trust anyone to care for his son, it was this man.

Charlie nestled right against Kurt's chest instantly and Blaine had to admit that not only did it feel good to have a break from holding the little boy, but the way Kurt lovingly cradled his son and the way the tendons in his arms bulged a little bit from the weight, revealing just how strong he had gotten during their time apart, were not at all unpleasant either.

Kurt stared down at Charlie, an affection filling his eyes instantly that Blaine couldn't help but note with pride.

"Hi there Little One," Kurt whispered, before reaching down to nuzzle the soft down on Charlie's head lightly. Blaine felt his stomach contract.

And then fucking Adam. The Brit leaned over to grab one of Charlie's feet, teasing at his toes and tugging playfully, cooing at the infant in a way that made Blaine want to be sick.

Charlie began to wake slightly and started whimpering softly, whining and twisting away from Adam's touch. Blaine glowered at Adam who backed away quickly.

"I don't think he likes you Babe," Kurt said with a laugh.

"Nonsense, children love me. I'm like the baby whisperer." Adam spoke the words with confidence but he still seemed a bit flustered.

"Alright, we best eat these delicious omelets before they get cold." He smoothly changed the subject and brought the other two plates to the table, laying out forks, knives and glasses. "Ah, almost a proper meal," he noted in satisfaction, surveying his work.

Adam moved to the fridge then, rummaging around until he emerged with both a carton of orange juice with pulp and Vitamin C added, and a bottle of cran-apple juice. "Juice, Blaine?" he asked, but Blaine was far too distracted, his eyes fixated on Kurt, who was snuggling Charlie against him like he had just met the new love of his life. Charlie was clearly content too; he sighed a sweet little baby sigh and nestled his head deeper into the crook of Kurt's arm, one small fist holding tightly to Kurt's index finger. Kurt's face was positively glowing as he looked down at the little baby and he leaned down and pressed a lingering kiss to the infant's forehead.

_Oh good God, _Blaine thought. _My baby loves him. Of course my baby loves him. _Things couldn't possibly get any worse.

"Blaine?" Adam was asking, still holding a different flavor of juice in each hand.

"Sorry?" Blaine asked, having completely missed Adam's inquiry.

"I was asking if you'd like some juice."

"Orange is fine." Blaine nodded distractedly.

"Babe?" Adam looked to Kurt, frowning slightly when he saw the expression of pure adoration that was spread across Kurt's face. "Orange for me too please." Kurt didn't tear his eyes away from Charlie once.

"Alright, let's put the baby down somewhere and eat, shall we? Catch up a bit on your life Blaine?" A tight-lipped smile had forced itself onto Adam's face.

"No!" Kurt insisted, looking up then. "I can hold him while we eat. Is that alright Blaine?"

Blaine grinned. "As long as you don't drop egg on his head." He couldn't help but secretly revel in the way his ex was infatuated with his baby.

"As if," Kurt shot back, looking back down to Charlie. "You have an awfully silly daddy," he murmured to the little one, leaning to kiss him again.

"Sweetpea?" Adam called to Kurt and Blaine felt the nausea building in his stomach.

"Mmm,"' Kurt replied noncommittally, gaze still entirely focused on the precious bundle in his arms.

"Sit down and eat the lovely omelet your adoring boyfriend cooked for you, won't you?"

"Kay," Kurt acquiesced, moving more carefully that was probably necessary while holding Charlie before sitting in his chair, cradling the baby securely in one arm and using his other to fork his breakfast into his mouth.

"So, Blaine," Adam began conversationally and Blaine could already tell he didn't like where this was going.

"How long do you think you'll be staying with Kurt?"

Blaine almost choked on his egg.

"I really can't say to be honest. I've got to get a job and Lord knows that's not easy in the city, especially when you're balancing being a single parent."

"Please don't think me rude- but if you knew it would be so hard to acquire a job in the city, why did you move out of Ohio?"

Blaine felt defensive. He didn't need to justify his decisions to this asshole. "For one thing, my parents refused to support me any longer and it just made sense to search out an old support system that I knew wouldn't let me down." Kurt shot him a smile, which he briefly returned.

"But also, I wanted Charlie to have a future, to grow up in a big, bright place, where he would never have to be afraid to be who he was, whoever that might be. I wanted him to have everything I never did."

"Well now that _is _precious, I must say," Adam oozed reaching across the table to grab Kurt's hand. "I guess I've never really thought about it before, but if we ever decide to have kids Sweetums, we are living in the perfect place for it, aren't we?"

Kurt turned the color of a tomato, which Blaine would have found adorable if he hadn't found Adam's statement so horrifying. Were these two thinking about a future together? They had only really known each other a few months. Kurt was a freshman. He couldn't be that in love with the guy already.

_But he fell in love with me pretty quickly_, the voice in his head reminded him.

"Honey don't you think it's just a little bit soon to be talking about that?" Kurt asked, his cheeks still flushed in that flattering manner, stumbling over his words a little bit as he met Adam's eyes with a slightly panicked look.

"Oh look at my little Love Muffin." Adam leaned to pinch Kurt's rosy cheek affectionately. "He gets so shy sometimes; it's positively adorable don't you think Blaine?"

Blaine nodded briefly trying not to choke on his eggs which tasted like rubber in his throat.

"You always get so antsy about the future, but really Babe, I know you're a romantic at heart. Come on, tell me. What would you be your wedding song?" Adam leaned in teasingly, giving Kurt a kiss on the cheek as he continued to grasp his hands in his.

"I-I…" Kurt faltered for an answer, his gaze going unwittingly to Blaine. This had been a conversation that they had had once. Yes, they had been mere high school sweethearts, but they were in love and they had planned to spend their rest of their lives together. They both knew what their wedding song would be.

_Plans, plans_, he thought to himself with an inward sigh. _Plans always get you into trouble. Planning means hoping for something more. And hoping for something more will always let you down._

Adam was still looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer. Blaine had his head down, unwilling to look Kurt in the eye.

"I really don't know," Kurt lied, turning his attention back to the baby in his arms. Charlie was proving to be a great distraction, as well as someone that Kurt could see himself easily and quickly falling in love with. Which was dangerous, because Charlie came with Blaine attached; they were a two-person deal and Kurt couldn't afford to become reattached to his ex right now.

"Liar," Adam replied, winking at Blaine as he said it. "Kurt's got his whole entire wedding planned out from start to finish. He thinks I don't know, but I do. I found his scrapbook once."

"Hey!" Kurt flushed even redder. "That's private!"

Adam shrugged unapologetically. "It was lying around. Don't fault a fellow for getting curious. And really it was quite sweet Darling. I have to say, you don't have half-bad taste. The only thing we might disagree on would be wedding colors." He frowned. "And some of the playlist for the DJ. Some of those songs…seriously Angel, it made me question our relationship."

Blaine wondered how it was possible for Adam to have so many fucking terms of endearment for Kurt. It would be a good drinking game really, to see how many names he could come up with without ever actually referring to the boy by his actual name.

"Those were mostly a mix of songs we did in our Glee club," Kurt mumbled, still staring at the infant in his lap. He had set Charlie down so that the boy was balanced on his knee, his fragile head resting against Kurt's chest. Charlie was awake now and giggling as Kurt held each of his hands in his and bounced him gently.

Blaine could sense Kurt's discomfort and felt uncomfortable too. He knew that the scrapbook must have been something Kurt had started when they were still dating, and would often talk about a wedding, often in jest, but often in more seriousness than either was willing to admit. To know that Kurt had kept the scrapbook, that he still looked at it, made Blaine's heart soar in a way that he knew he should stop, but simply couldn't. He decided to change the subject, for all of their sakes.

"So Adam, what do you do?"

Adam looked up in him in surprise, as if the question was almost an insult.

"I'm the leader of the Adam's Apples at NYADA," he said, as if it should be obvious.

"The Adam's…Apples…" Blaine said slowly, trying to process. "Is that some sort of…?"

"It's NYADA'S Glee Club," Kurt supplied helpfully.

"Oh wow, that's awesome. I loved Glee Club in high school." Blaine was trying, he really was. He wanted to punch this snot-nosed British guy in the face but he was refraining, for Kurt. If he wanted to make this work with Charlie, they were going to have to get along.

"Yes," Adam said with what Blaine could've sworn was a sneer. "I heard about you and Kurt's little high school Glee Club. What was it called Babe? New Pathways?"

"Directions," Kurt corrected quietly.

"Right, right. New Directions. Very sweet really. It sounds like a really fun time the two of you had."

"Yeah, we had a lot of fun. It changed my life, honestly," Blaine told him.

"Well isn't that touching?" God, Adam's voice was dripping with condescension. "I'm glad Kurt had the opportunity to be a part of that in high school. It really helped him blossom you know? But I have to say, NYADA's Glee club is quite…different. We're a bit more sophisticated than your little group from Ohio. This is a _college_ club."

Okay, now the condescension was just plain obvious and right in Blaine's face. There was only so long he could sit here and take it.

"Actually, I was also a part of the Dalton Academy Warblers for two years," Blaine added with his own smug look on his face. "Dalton was an elite private school for boys. We were really quite good."

"Oh yes, Kurt mentioned something about Dalton," Adam said distractedly. "But really, you can't compare any high school Glee Club to a college one. Especially one on the caliber of _NYADA."_

"Well I mean, we did pretty well, Adam," Kurt said, once again coming to Blaine's defense. "We won Nationals my senior year."

Adam dismissed Kurt's words with a wave of his hand. "All I'm saying is high school singing groups don't really measure up to college ones."

Kurt was silent.

"So Adam's Apples," Blaine began. "Did you start the group?"

"I did indeed." Adam nodded proudly. "Of course I'm a senior now, so who knows what will happen after I leave, but thankfully, I've got my baby here to keep an eye on things and make sure all runs smoothly." He leaned in again to give Kurt a kiss and it was just ever so slight, but Blaine thought he saw Kurt flinch away, just slightly, and send a warning look Adam's way.

"You're a senior?" Blaine asked with some disbelief. Kurt was dating a senior? This guy had to be at least twenty-one, maybe twenty-two. Kurt was only about to enter his sophomore year. It wasn't a _huge_ age gap, but it was still worth noting.

"Yes," Adam said, his face looking a bit pinched. He didn't offer any further information on the subject so Blaine decided simply to leave it. They continued to eat their breakfast, Kurt holding onto Charlie and playing with him the whole time, melting Blaine's heart as he did. The talk was polite and genial, but rather stiff, and Blaine knew that, though Adam pretended to be fine with everything, it wouldn't be long before the ugly green monster of jealousy would rear its angry head and start causing some serious problems.

x-x-x-x-x-x

"Baby, Baby, just calm down."

"I don't like it Kurt. I don't like the way he looks at you, I don't like that he thinks he can show up here, after what he did, and expect you to give him a place to stay."

"It's only for a little while. His parents kicked him out. Where else was he supposed to go?"

"Bloody fucking anywhere! There are tons of places he could've gone. But to come here! What the fuck is he playing at? He obviously is still in love with you."

"That's not the case and you know it! I told you, we haven't even spoken since February. And he's got a kid now. He's clearly over me."

"February. Right. That when you two got together at that wedding and shagged each other's brains out?"

"That's none of your concern. It was just as friends. And you and I- we weren't exclusive at the time."

"We might as well have been! And even if you say it meant nothing to you, it certainly meant something to him. I can tell by the way he stares, all starry-eyed like some pathetic little high-schooler with a schoolboy crush. He probably gets off at night to the thought of you two together."

"Stop it." Kurt's voice was harsh, a tone Blaine had only heard him reserve for the most severe of situations. "You don't get to talk about Blaine that way."

"What way? Like he's some little lovesick pervert out to steal my boyfriend? Because he is. And getting that baby? Genius. As if you could resist him now, playing the tender daddy and all that."

"I can't believe you would try to make this about something as shallow as that! Blaine adopted Charlie because he's genuinely a good person, not because he has some kind of twisted plot to win me back with him. Charlie is a _baby_ Adam, not a prop. And Blaine isn't like that. He took him in because he is a truly kind, big-hearted person, and he saw his best friend in trouble with no other place to go. He did it because that's just who he is."

"Bullocks. Nobody is just that nice."

"Blaine _is!_" Kurt yelled in frustration, and immediately felt his heart constrict, hoping that Blaine, who was putting Charlie down for a nap in the other room, hadn't caught on to the argument he was currently having with his boyfriend. Little did he know that Blaine had overheard the entire thing.

"I see it. I see it now," Adam said, and his tone was dangerous. "You're still in love with him. You're still in love with him, he's still in love with you, and he's brought his kid here to New York so now you can be the perfect fucking family together. How delightful for you both!" He spat.

"Adam you_ know_ it isn't like that. I can't believe you're being so immature about all of this. Blaine is my friend. No matter…no matter what he's done to me, he'll always be my friend. I would do the same for anyone else and so would you, I'd like to think."

Blaine's heart jumped into his throat a little, his stomach churning uncomfortably at the way Kurt stumbled over his words: _No matter what he's done to me. _Blaine would never forgive himself for what he done to Kurt, and it was obvious the poor boy hadn't forgiven him either. Blaine had already been fairly certain of this fact but it was so painful to have to hear it from Kurt's own lips.

"I don't like it Kurt. I don't like it at all," Adam said.

"Well you're going to have to deal with it for a little while. Suck it up." Kurt had his bitch voice on and Blaine could just picture him standing there, arms crossed across his chest, that sassy expression on his face that Blaine had always found so endearing.

"Fine," Adam snapped and Kurt could hear the rustle of things as he picked up his bags.

"But I'm telling you now Kurt. One step out of line and that curly-haired teenager is out. I mean it. Don't force me to have to make you choose between me and him Kurt. It won't end well."

"I'm not going to kick him out, Adam," Kurt said quietly.

"Whatever Kurt. I told you where I stand. You make sure he keeps things PG and there won't be a problem. Now I'm gonna go."

Blaine heard the sound of the door clicking close and a loud sigh escape Kurt's lips. He decided then to make his presence known.

"Oh Blaine- God!" Kurt said when he noticed the dark-haired man standing in the door-frame, clad comfortably in plaid pajama pants and a loose grey hoodie. He was wearing gray socks and his curls had come even more loose of their gel, one of them falling down over his forehead. Kurt felt his breath catching in his throat. He wanted nothing more in that moment just to reach out and stroke that curl away, let those sweet, familiar lips meet his in a kiss that would quickly turn to…

"Sorry to startle you," Blaine said, shifting awkwardly and biting his lip. "I just- I wanted to say something to you. If this-" he turned and gestured toward the room where Charlie slept- "is going to cause problems between you and your boyfriend, we don't have to stay. I know you're nice and your compassion takes over your common sense sometimes. But if this is going to put your relationship in jeopardy, I'll back out of it right now. I'll just pack up and go. You don't deserve any more stress in your life."

"Blaine. Stop it right now," Kurt said, automatically leaning forward to put on Blaine's chest and then stopping once he realized the intimacy of the gesture- and also how firm Blaine's pecs felt beneath his thin sweater. "There's no reason for you to leave. I told you that you could stay and I meant it. Adam is fine with it."

"Kurt, I heard you and Adam's conversation," Blaine admitted, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth in a way that Kurt found very distracting. He mentally slapped himself. This was no way to be thinking about his _ex_.

"Oh God, I'm sorry." Kurt sighed and ran a hand through his already messy hair. "You weren't supposed to hear that. Adam can just get- a bit possessive at times. But it's nothing to worry about, honestly. If he has a problem with you being here, then he'll have to deal."

Blaine said nothing for a few moments, standing there shifting awkwardly before he finally opened his mouth to spill what was on his mind.

"He said- he mentioned- about us- back in February-"

"Oh, God," Kurt said for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. His face had flushed crimson as it was so apt to do and he found himself at a loss for words. He and Blaine had never really discussed their February tryst, nor had they even really talked at all since. What was he supposed to tell Blaine? That it had almost caused him and Adam to end things entirely? That he had spent countless sleepless nights lying awake trying to remember every moment of that night- every kiss, every smile, every caress, the way Blaine's eyes had looked into his, so full of love and nothing else, as though nothing had ever brought them apart. How sometimes, when he made love to Adam, he couldn't help but think of Blaine, and he knew it was wrong but he couldn't stop himself. How when he was alone at night he would cry into his pillow sometimes, because he just _missed_ him. No matter that he had a great job, went to a great school, lived with his best friend and had a delectable, sweet boyfriend. He felt empty without Blaine.

But he couldn't tell Blaine any of those things, not even a little bit. So instead he just stood there, fumbling over his words.

"Yeah, uhm, I mean, I guess…sure…he knows…I mean, we try to be pretty honest, so I felt like I needed to tell him…but he's cool with it…I mean, he gets it you know?"

Blaine looked rather downcast. "So it really didn't mean anything to you then, did it?"

"Blaine. I told you at the time, it was always just as friends." Kurt felt his heart breaking as he spoke the words.

"Yeah I know what you told me. I guess I was just sort of hoping…that you were just lying to yourself. I mean but whatever, it's fine. You've moved on, I've moved on. I don't want that to make anything weird."

"You've moved on?" Kurt asked, his head snapping up to meet Blaine's amber-hazel eyes in surprise.

"Sure. Of course I have. It's been seven months Kurt. You made it pretty obvious you weren't going to take me back, so I had to move on, for my own peace of mind. And then I got Charlie."

"Right. Of course." Kurt kicked at the ground lightly. How stupid of him to think Blaine still might have had feelings for him. He had always known that Blaine could do much better than him; he had been amazed when the boy had chosen to go out with him back in high school in the first place. Blaine had always been talented, charming, more than easy on the eyes. He had fit in wherever he had gone. Without Kurt around, he would've had plenty of offers and why not take them? No, once upon a time they had said forever, but Kurt was quickly learning what a lie that word could be. Forever rarely meant what it promised it did. And in his and Blaine's case- forever didn't mean a very long time at all.

x-x-x-x-x-x

Blaine tossed and turned in the spare bedroom in Kurt's apartment that had once been Santana's before she moved out to be with Brittany again. The room wasn't huge, but it was pretty nice all things considered. How Kurt and Rachel managed to afford an apartment like this Blaine would never fully understand. But he was grateful.

He looked over to the collapsible crib that he had set up in the corner of the room. Charlie was sleeping peacefully on his back, one thumb in his mouth. Blaine knew he shouldn't disturb him, but he got up anyway and went over to pick up the little boy. Charlie didn't stir but instead snuggled into the comfort of his father's chest, sighing contentedly in his sleep.

It was amazing to Blaine how he seemed to need Charlie just as much as Charlie needed him. He had taken in the infant as a favor to his friends but it had quickly become clear that Charlie was going to have much more of an impact on his life than Blaine ever could have anticipated. Even after only three months with him, he could never imagine where he'd be without his son.

"Hey Kiddo," he said softly to Charlie, gently rocking him in his arms. 'This is our new home. At least for now. I don't know how long we're going to live here. I hope it's for a while, but I can't make any promises. We're kind of banking on other people's goodwill right now. So we'll have to see. But I promise I'll try not to move us around too much. You deserve to have a real home to call your own."

Blaine sighed and walked to the window staring at out the streetlights below him. "I can't believe we're finally here. I've been dreaming about it for so long…" he trailed off, lost suddenly deep in thought.

"What do you think of Kurt, Munchkin? He's really great isn't he? I told you he would be. I told you he'd take care of us. I know we can't stay with him forever. But it's nice to be with him for now. I wish…I wish we could stay with him. I think he really likes you. I hope you get to know him as you grow up. He's special Charlie, just like you. You know, Daddy has made some big mistakes but you- you'll never be a mistake. I hope you always know that Buddy." Blaine kissed the baby's forehead before returning him to his crib.

He threw himself back down across his bed, glancing across the room that was currently bathed in moonlight. All of his things were here now, still mostly packed up in suitcases and boxes, standing like a small army in the middle of the room. Of course he hadn't really brought many things; most of the things he had packed had been for Charlie. Adam had ended up staying most of the day and so the only real catching up he had been able to do with Kurt had been through that awkward conversation in the foyer after Adam left. Blaine felt bad; Kurt hadn't been able to really get any of the work done that he had been planning on accomplishing today but he had emailed his boss with an emergency and she had been kind enough to give him a break. By the end of everything, both Blaine and Charlie were exhausted, and so just about as soon as he had been able to set up Charlie's crib, the two were in bed. Rachel had come home at some point; Blaine had overheard her voice rising as Kurt explained quietly that his ex-boyfriend was sleeping in the other room with an infant, but after a few minutes of exclamation, her voice had lowered again and she seemed calm. Blaine was just glad he didn't have to face her till morning. He honestly hadn't even had the strength to unpack his clothes so Kurt had leant him the pajama pants and sweatshirt that he now wore. The clothes smelled so wonderful; he couldn't help but inhale again and again.

It honestly didn't feel real- being here, with Kurt. Blaine's door was open several inches; the comfort of knowing that Kurt was just a door away, in a bedroom in this very same apartment was absolutely glorious. Of course, what Blaine really would've preferred would be for Kurt to be here, in his bed with him, but he knew that was a ridiculous fantasy. Kurt and that Adam tool were obviously very much committed to each other, and as much as it pained Blaine to see it, he wasn't willing to be the cause of Kurt's unhappiness any more than he already had been.

He shifted to his side and shut his eyes, trying to force himself to sleep. He was in New York now with Kurt: he had made it. Now what he needed was rest, because goodness knows Charlie would be waking him several times during the night, plus he planned on looking for a job in the morning. He still wasn't exactly sure how this whole situation of him living with Kurt and Rachel was going to work out; he knew it wasn't exactly practical.

But he was willing to do anything to try. Honestly, anything to keep it so that he could stay close to Kurt, even if they would always be a few bedrooms apart.


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Oof here it is, my labor of love. I hope it's not too sucky, it's awfully late at night. Thanks so much for your kind feedback, I am going to try to respond to people personally I swear and please please more reviews I am begging you. I LOVE hearing what you think. As always, you are all darlings. Also, I actually plotted out the majority of the actual storyline of this during work today and it's amazing how much easier it is to write when you know where the story is going. And I can promise you, this one gets juicy. Sorry for all the fluff and sap in this chapter. I tried not to make it too sickening but, well, hopefully you enjoy. Thank you for reading :] xoxox**

* * *

Kurt woke up early the next day, his head buzzing with an excitement that he normally _never_ felt at hours of the morning this ungodly. It wasn't long before he realized why: Blaine. Blaine was here, in his apartment, in his spare bedroom, living with him. He stretched languorously in his bed, not able to help the huge smile that crept onto his face.

"Kurt Hummel you get out of bed this instant!"

Oh God. Rachel. It was much too early for to deal with her, but he knew putting her off would be useless. It had been so late when she had come home last night that he had promised to explain the situation to her in the morning if she would just let him sleep now, in exchange for him doing the dishes for the next month straight. But now, it was morning and Rachel was looking for her explanation. She could be relentless when she wanted to be, and Kurt definitely wasn't getting away without explaining this one.

"Rachel, please, lower your voice, there's a baby in the house," Kurt groaned, rolling out of bed, because he figured that if he _had_ to have this conversation with Rachel, he could at least get some coffee in his system to make it a little less excruciating.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about!" Rachel practically scream-hissed. "There is a _baby_, not to mention one Blaine Anderson, sleeping in our very own apartment!"

"Do you think I'm unaware of that fact Rachel?" Kurt said rather snarkily. He padded to the kitchen in merely his dark blue boxer briefs, not bothering to add any more clothes to his ensemble. He certainly was no exhibitionist but it was too early for him really to care. Besides, Blaine was still sound asleep, and he didn't really care what Rachel saw him in.

"No I _know _you are aware of that fact Kurt, but the question is why! Why on earth! And how did he get a baby? And how long are they going to be staying here? And _when _do you think you're actually going to start consulting me on major household decisions, like _getting a new roommate_?" She unleashed all of this on him in one exhausting breath and Kurt's head ached just from the sound of her voice.

He began spooning coffee grounds into the coffee filter, trying to block out his roommate's tirade. Finally she slowed down long enough for him to speak.

"Rachel, you know you're my best friend and I love you, but you _really_ need to chill out. There is no reason to be making a big deal out of this. Blaine is here because he needed somewhere to stay and it only makes sense that we would offer him one. Now, if I tell you something, you have to promise to keep your mouth shut about it."

Rachel nodded quickly, but Kurt knew her better than that.

"I'm serious Rachel. This is a big secret. No calling up our old friends from home and gushing on and on to them about it. No telling even Brody."

"Fine," Rachel huffed impatiently, pushing her shower-dampened bangs out of her eyes. The coffee had started brewing and Kurt fixated his glance on the calming drip of the black liquid into the pot.

"Sam got Brittany pregnant, which is why Santana left. And Blaine adopted the baby."

"What!" Rachel yelled before Kurt could shoot her a death glare.

"I'm sorry," she said in an only slightly-lowered tone of voice. "But what you're saying is preposterous."

"Nevertheless," Kurt said with a sigh, pouring them each a cup of coffee, "It's the one hundred percent truth."

"Why would Blaine do that?"

Kurt gave Rachel a look.

"You're right. He's Blaine. I guess I didn't really need to ask. But now comes the question- what is he doing here?"

"I told you: his parents kicked him out and he needed somewhere to stay."

"Don't get me wrong Kurt, you know I adore Blaine, but don't tell me there weren't plenty of other people he could've found to stay with, had he really wanted to. And yet, he chose to come here, to New York City, to live with you? Doesn't that seem a tad suspicious?"

Kurt sighed, tired already from her questioning. "Not really."

She shook her head. "Well it seems suspicious to me. I am going to have a serious talk with him when he wakes up, figure out his motives."

"I honestly don't think he has any motives, other than taking care of his son," Kurt said almost regretfully.

"And how does Adam feel about all this?"

Kurt turned a bit red. "He's fine with it. Why shouldn't he be?"

"Your ex-boyfriend is staying in your apartment with a baby! It's like you don't realize that or something!"

"Trust me, Rachel, I realize it."

"Realize what?" The voice came from the doorway and both turned quickly to be greeted by none other than the sight of Blaine, looking fresh and handsome as ever, sleep-rumpled though he was. Blaine's eyes widened at the sight of Kurt and it took Kurt a moment to remember that he was standing there in nothing but his briefs. Of course, it was nothing Blaine hadn't seen before but…their relationship wasn't like that anymore.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry Blaine," Kurt said, trying to move behind the counter to gain some privacy. "I hope we didn't wake you?"

"Nah, I wasn't really sleeping anyway. I don't, actually, sleep much anymore," he said with a light chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. "I just came out here to start some coffee but I see someone beat me to it."

Kurt's heart went out to his ex. The boy clearly had all he could do to take care of Charlie and still be a functioning human being. He must be exhausted.

"Well here, I've got a cup for you right here," he said with a gentle smile, pouring Blaine the rest of what was in the cup and handing him the steaming mug.

"Thanks," Blaine said gratefully, taking it in both hands and holding it up to his nose, letting the sweet aroma drown his senses before taking his first sip. Kurt always made the best coffee.

He still couldn't help but be a little bit distracted by the sight of Kurt's smooth, muscled, statuesque body, clad in nothing other than a pair of briefs that looked painted on, right down to the prominent bulge where his package rested. God he was so stunning. Blaine had been so, so foolish to ever put all of this at risk. Ugh, he just wanted to reach out right now and touch that body, see if it was truly really in front of him, or if he was just having some very long, vivid dream. More than anything, he wished he was allowed to kiss and touch Kurt again, but he knew that wasn't happening, not even a casual repeat of February, seeing as how that Adam douchebag was now in the picture.

"I should go change," Kurt said after a little while, once he noticed Blaine staring.

"Yes, you_ should_," Rachel said pointedly, clearing her throat to try to diffuse the awkwardness of the situation. Blaine blushed bright red which made Kurt want to throw him down on the ground right then and there and have his way with him, but he refrained. He was not allowed to think that way anymore. He knew this.

"So Blaine," Rachel said, a smile akin to that of the Cheshire Cat spreading across her face the moment Kurt had vacated the room. "What brings you to New York City?"

"Oh Rachel. You haven't changed a bit I see," Blaine said affectionately.

"What?" Rachel asked pouting. "I'm just trying to find out about what's going on in my friend's life."

"No, you're snooping," Blaine pointed out gently as he reached to a bowl of fruit to grab a banana. The peaceful calm in the room was suddenly torn apart by the sound of wailing coming from Blaine's room. He sighed and ran a hand through his rumpled curls.

"That'll be Charlie. He hates being put down. He wants to be held every minute of every day and the only times I can get him down are when he's already fallen asleep in my arms."

Rachel's face softened as she heard the way Blaine spoke about his little boy. "You really love him, don't you?"

"More than anything in this entire world," Blaine said with a very serious look on his face.

Rachel moved to put a comforting hand on his shoulder. She knew she could be abrasive at times, and it was true she didn't trust Blaine completely, not after what he had done to hurt Kurt. But in the end, she liked the boy far more than she liked Adam, and wanted them to work it out- that was, if Blaine could prove he really was worthy of being forgiven. She could recall some times when she had made mistakes in her own past relationships- namely in that of her and her fiancé Finn. She of all people understood that sometimes people did awful things, not because they were bad people or didn't love their partner, but because they were human and made mistakes. Her loyalty and empathy were raging war within her, but overall, her empathy was starting to win out. And seeing this side of Blaine- so responsible, so _tender_, certainly helped swing things in his favor.

"Can I help you with him?" She inquired uncertainty and Blaine chuckled aloud at the diva sounding so hesitant about anything, as opposed to her usual constant tone of "demanding".

"Sure, you can hold him for a bit. Give my arms a little rest." He winked. "But I'll warn you now, he gets heavy pretty fast. I'm pretty sure my biceps have expanded inches since taking him in."

Rachel laughed and swatted him playfully as he boasted. It was almost as if they were kids back in Glee Club at McKinley high again. Almost.

They entered the room which Santana had vacated and now had become Blaine's in her stead. So far, it was very starkly decorated, holding only a few suitcases full of Blaine's things, his toothbrush, glasses and hair gel lined up on the dresser and, of course, Charlie's crib.

"So this is the little angel," Rachel said, moving over to the crib where Charlie lay squirming and red-faced, acting very much the opposite of an angel as he screamed bloody murder. She immediately reached in and lifted the infant, resting him against her chest, one hand holding his hand and the other over his bottom, bouncing him lightly in her arms. It wasn't long before Charlie stopped crying and began cooing softly in contentment.

"Wow. You really know your way around babies," Blaine said, impressed.

"Yeah," Rachel shrugged. "My dads made me babysit a lot when I was younger, for the experience and all. I got pretty good at dealing with kids."

"So I know who to call when I need a babysitter then," Blaine said with an impish smirk.

"Oh no Blaine Anderson. This is your mess you got yourself into. Of course, I'm happy to help, occasionally, when I've got the time, but what with my classes, auditions, rehearsals and Brody, I don't have a lot of down time."

"Relax Rachel, I was just kidding."

Rachel looked surprised. "Oh. Well anyway, I'm sure Kurt will be more than happy to help. He seems enamored of this little guy already." She held Charlie up to meet his blue eyes and spoke in the patented voice adults use when speaking to babies. "And I can see why, you little cutie patootie."

Blaine smiled. He had never really minded Rachel all that much. He felt bad for her, because although he knew she was trying very hard to leave her life in Lima behind, she would always be stuck on Finn, no matter how hard she tried to focus her attentions on this _Brody_ guy. He and Finn were in very similar situations, he realized. Maybe he should give the guy a call up, see how he was doing. He turned to Rachel.

"Mind if I ask you a question?"

"Depends on what the question is," she replied, still bouncing Charlie lightly in her arms.

"What's the deal with this Adam guy?"

Rachel sighed, having just known it was going to be a question of that sort of nature. "I don't know Blaine. What do you mean by, 'what's the deal'?"

"I mean, how serious are he and Kurt?"

"I honestly don't know for sure. They kept things really casual for a while and then in February I had thought they had split up, they stopped seeing each other for a couple weeks and Kurt was miserable, crying all the time, barely able to function, almost as bad as when…" she trailed off awkwardly, looking at the floor.

"Almost as bad as when he and I broke up," Blaine supplied for her.

"Yes," she admitted uncomfortably. "But then, around the beginning of March, they got back together, and suddenly things were much more serious and they were exclusive. And they've been that way ever since. Although I have to admit, I think Adam's a little more invested in it than Kurt is."

Blaine felt a small sigh of relief escape his lips and the coiling of his stomach settle slightly at those words. So there still might be some chance. Wow, it hadn't taken him very long to fall completely head over in heels with some other guy though had it? That stung a bit, though Blaine supposed he deserved it.

He wasn't done with his questioning though. "Rachel- isn't Adam a senior?"

Rachel laughed at that. "Super senior actually."

Blaine frowned, not understanding.

"He's going for his senior year his second time around. He didn't graduate the first time."

"Are you kidding me? So this guy's almost…twenty-three…and he's preying on some nineteen-year-old?" Blaine was disgusted.

"'Fraid so. He's a little questionable. Also, his singing group sucks and you can tell him that from me. I mean, Kurt's all starstruck about the whole thing of course. I think he just wants to relive his Glee club experience from high school. He felt so left out at NYADA at first, he was clinging to anything to make him feel like he fit in. But the Adam's Apples are every bit as bad as their name makes them sound like they'd be."

Blaine felt horrible when he realized that Kurt had started at NYADA with virtually no friends, and not even Blaine back home to rely on. He should've been there for him through all that, should've been supporting him, rooting him on. But he had already fucked it all up by then and they weren't talking. And Kurt had had to suffer alone. No wonder he ran straight into that British douchebag's arms.

"Blaine," Rachel reached out a free hand and placed in on Blaine's shoulder, which sadly, wasn't all that much of a stretch for her. "Adam is in Kurt's life for now, but he's not permanent. I mean, Kurt cares about him because he makes him feel safe and cared for. But…well, what I mean to say is, you were Kurt's first love and that doesn't just go away, no matter what happens. So if you want him back, you have to fight for him, show him that you're with it. I know you can. If you really want him." Rachel handed him Charlie then and walked toward the doorway.

"But if you're only interested in half-assing this or breaking his heart again, then you might as well just leave now. It's all or nothing Anderson. Now I've got to go blow dry my hair or it'll be as limp as spaghetti all day," she said and was, very suddenly, gone from the room.

Blaine watched her go with a little grin creeping onto his face. From the way she was talking it just seemed like she might be on his side, willing to help her get Kurt back, if he could just prove that he was worthy.

x-x-x-x-x-x

Blaine was standing in the kitchen, pacing back and forth with Charlie in his arms, singing softly under his breath to the little boy when Kurt returned. He was now freshly showered, his hair elegantly styled atop his head, his blue-green eyes as heady as ever, cheekbones still sharp enough to cut glass, and smartly dressed in stylistically ripped faded jeans, a loose white button-up, and a grey vest, complete with a red tie that was knotted slack beneath the open v of his shirt, exposing all the creamy skin to be explored there. Blaine visibly swallowed.

"You need someone to look after Charlie?" Kurt offered. "You look like you could use a shower."

It was true; Blaine wanted nothing more than to put down the heavy baby right now and let the burning hot water erase his worries and stresses, his inappropriate thoughts of Kurt and his violent ones about Adam. But Charlie was his responsibility, one he couldn't pawn off on Kurt.

"No- trust me, you don't want to look after him."

"Why not?" Kurt would not be deterred so easily.

"He's in this really annoying stage right now where he refuses to be put down. He wants to be held constantly, and not just held, but moved too." Blaine sounded more than a little frazzled and it tugged at Kurt's heartstrings. God he was so selfless. It shouldn't have really been a surprise to Kurt when someone as amazing as Blaine had ended up finding or wanting someone else last year, but it still had. As he continued to rediscover just how incredible and sexy Blaine was, Kurt remembered why he had been lucky to get the boy in the first place. When they were together, it had always been just a matter of time before Blaine found someone better. Kurt had always known that; he shouldn't have let it catch him so off guard when Blaine actually _did_.

"So basically," Blaine was saying, "You have to just hold him and rock him, or bounce him, for hours, until he finally falls asleep and you can try putting him down, but even then, as soon as he's lying immobile, he usually wakes up and starts screaming again. It's exhausting."

"Try me," Kurt said with one eyebrow raised. "Do you really have that little faith in my upper body strength? I've been working out since we…since we last saw each other you know. I'm actually pretty buff now." He held one arm to flex and Blaine couldn't help but laugh.

"You're adorable," he said before he thought to stop himself. It was just so easy to fall into this old routine with Kurt.

"Oh God- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cross any lines," Blaine stammered quickly upon realizing his mistake.

"Don't worry about it, Blaine," Kurt said with a reassuring smile, as he crossed the kitchen to reassuringly pat Blaine's shoulder, sending pathetic tingles all up and down the boy's body. "Now hand him over. I'm pretty sure I can manage holding him for at least the time it takes you to shower. Although if I do recall, you used to take those awfully long, forty-five minute showers back in high school. I always wondered what you were doing in there," Kurt added with a smirk.

"Shut up." Blaine smacked the boy's arm playfully, a grin teasing at the corners of his lips. "I just really like getting clean."

"I think what you _really_ like is giving into the fantasy that you're a famous performer and the shower head is your microphone, the bathtub your stage. Now, now, don't be embarrassed. We all need our creative outlets. But don't be _too_ long in there. We do have a water bill to pay!" Kurt said, still snickering as he bounced Baby Charlie on his hip, giving his ex a mischievous smack on the ass as he scooted toward the bathroom. Kurt acted like it was the most natural thing in the world but Blaine was incredibly grateful that Kurt couldn't see his face as it once again turned bright red. What was Kurt's game? Was that really how the dynamic of their relationship was going to be? While Kurt had a _boyfriend_ who wasn't him? It was all just too confusing.

x-x-x-x-x-x

Kurt watched his ex head to the bathroom, shamelessly enjoying the view, before telling himself to snap out of it because he had a _boyfriend _for Christ's sakes. _Keep it in your pants Hummel_. It was just…so natural to be playful and flirty with Blaine like this, sometimes he forgot himself. And he couldn't deny entirely that part of him _wanted_ that playful, flirty relationship back. Badly.

"Ugh, life is hard Charlie," Kurt said, looking into the infant's wide blue eyes. "Don't ever get a boyfriend. I know men who swear women are a different species, but I promise you, men are just as complicated, and even better at breaking hearts." He sighed, looking at the infant, who could only coo and gurgle in response, but whom Kurt still liked to believe understood to some extent what he was saying.

"You're a lucky boy though. You should know that. You've got a very special daddy. I'm probably going to tell you that a lot, but it's something ought to know. But shh, don't tell him that, or his ego will get even bigger than it already is," Kurt added with a chuckle.

He looked contemplatively into Charlie's eyes for a few moments longer. Of course they were blue; both Sam and Brittany had possessed a set of stunning baby blues. Charlie's eyes were beautiful but Kurt couldn't help thinking that it was a pity he hadn't gotten Blaine's gorgeous hazel ones that were never really one color, but a million all at once.

In his distraction, he had stopped bouncing Charlie, who now screwed up his face slightly and Kurt could anticipate the tear flow about to begin.

"Hey, hey now," he whispered soothingly. "Don't cry Buddy." He adjusted Charlie in his arms so that he was holding him, cradling his head, and began rocking him back and forth soothingly. Charlie seemed to calm slightly, but there was still a distressed expression on his face.

"Come on," Kurt said, pacing the rooms of the apartment looking for something to distract the infant with. "Well, both of your parents are musical, and I bet Blaine sings to you too, huh? So maybe a song will help." Kurt racked his brain, trying to remember the old lullaby his mother had used to sing to him as a kid. As he got closer to the bathroom, he heard the strains of a song coming from the steaming room. Of course. As he predicted, Blaine was singing in the shower. Kurt couldn't stop the smile from creeping onto his face.

"Look's like your daddy's already got it covered," he whispered to Charlie, and moved closer to the door, rocking the baby the whole time, so they could both listen in on what Blaine was singing. In high school, it had been rare that Blaine didn't do some cover of a Top 40 song and today was no real exception. Except this song wasn't a happy, upbeat one, like so many of the ones Blaine normally chose to sing. Kurt strained and leaned a little closer to try and catch the words.

Blaine was well into the song, currently belting out the bridge of the song before the climax.

_Although it hurts_

_I'll be the first to say I was wrong_

_Oh, I know I'm probably much too late_

_To try and apologize for my mistakes_

_But I just want you to know_

Kurt gasped as he realized Blaine was singing the new Bruno Mars single, a heart-wrenching song about lost love. His smooth, achingly perfect tenor didn't waver once as he broke into the final chorus.

_I hope he buys you flowers_

_I hope he holds your hand_

_Give you all his hours_

_When he has the chance  
_

_Take you to every party_

_Cause I remember how much you love to dance  
_

_Do all the things I should've done__  
_

_When I was your man  
_

_Do all the things I should've done  
_

_When I was your man_

Blaine's voice didn't waver at all until he reached the last line of the chorus, when Blaine heard it break slightly, in that same broken way he had sung _Teenage Dream_ at Karaoke Night at that Bar with Rachel and Brody last year, right before he had admitted to Kurt about cheating on him.

God. The song was so beautiful, so perfect when sung by Blaine, so full of the boy's emotions. Kurt felt tears springing to his own eyes. He wondered, foolishly, if the song could ever be meant for him. Probably not. But it still didn't mean it wasn't beautiful. He was so lost in the moment that he didn't hear Blaine turn the shower off, didn't hear him step out and towel off, didn't notice him opening the door until he was standing there before him, dripping wet, a white towel around his waist the only thing separating Kurt from Blaine's naked body.

It was his turn to stare.

He felt his mouth go dry and his cock twitch impatiently in his jeans as he took in the sight of Blaine. How was it possible for him to look even better than he remembered? Those curls, dripping wet, water running in little rivulets across his broad, muscled chest, that patch of dark hair that trailed down the center of his stomach to snake tantalizingly under the towel, the V of his hips that Kurt could just see the beginnings of, the rough stubble on his chin that he had left unshaven, his smoldering eyes: all of him. Kurt was drinking Blaine in, his own personal Adonis standing right in front of him, and he could not get enough.

It didn't take long though for Blaine to get very self-conscious.

"Oh geez…in there…did you hear…?"

"Yeah," Kurt said, nodding, shy all of a sudden. "It was beautiful. I mean everything you sing is beautiful but that- you really poured yourself into that."

Blaine just shrugged a little bit. "The song means a lot to me." He met Kurt's gaze then, giving him a pointed look and Kurt knew that the song _had_ been meant for him, that Blaine had been singing every word from the depths of his soul, and Kurt felt his heart breaking a little bit.

"It was beautiful," he repeated so softly he wasn't sure if Blaine would hear, but he did.

They stood there a moment, even Charlie completely silent before Blaine cleared his throat. "Well I had better get dressed huh? I'm sure you're already wishing you had never offered to hold the baby in a million years."

"No I- I like holding him. We've been bonding," Kurt said with a smile.

"You don't have to lie." Blaine smiled too, walking into his bedroom to get dressed, keeping the door open a crack so that he could continue talking with Kurt.

"I'm really not," Kurt said honestly. "I think I could really get attached to this little guy. It's not hard. Just one look from those beautiful blue eyes and I'm completely smitten."

"Oh I know all about that," Blaine called and Kurt felt his stomach jump slightly. No, no, Blaine wasn't talking about his eyes. He was talking about Charlie's. But still.

"Just wait until he makes you get up five times in one night and tell me how smitten you are then," Blaine said, but Kurt heard the smile in his voice and he knew Blaine adored his son, no matter what he might say in complaint.

Blaine appeared then, dressed in a thin mint V-neck that hugged his torso perfectly and tan chinos that were rolled up at the ankle. He looked like the picture of summer, like he had just stepped out of some J. Crew ad, and Kurt could hardly take it anymore.

"Here, let me take him." Blaine reached for Charlie.

"Wow," Kurt said, rubbing his biceps. "I have to admit, your arms do get a little sore after a while."

Blaine laughed. "Yeah he's not exactly small. The pediatrician says he's in the 90th percentile for his age group. I mean Sam's six feet tall and pure muscle, so my guess is Charlie's taking after his daddy already. Gonna be a big strong football player aren't ya, Munchkin?" He cooed, making a face at Charlie, who giggled.

"Hey now," Kurt said with arms folded. "What if he doesn't want to be a football player? What if he wants ballet lessons?"

"Then ballet lessons," Blaine said hoisting Charlie up in the air and spinning him around, "he shall have."

Kurt giggled. "Or more likely, he's going to want singing lessons so he can turn into as amazing performer as his dad."

"Sam _is _pretty amazing," Blaine said with a grin. "And when you throw Brittany's dancer genes into the mix…"

"I was talking about you Blaine."

"What?"

"Don't give me that 'what'. The moment this little guy sees his dad up on stage, singing his heart out and entertaining the hell out of some wildly cheering crowd, he's going to without a doubt know exactly what he wants to do when he grows up."

Blaine looked at Kurt in amazement.

"Wow. I guess I never thought of that. I mean, I know I'm Charlie's dad and everything, but sometimes, I forget that _I'm _going to raise him, you know, he's going to look up to _me_, the way I used to look up to my dad. God, I used to want to _be_ my dad. I can't imagine anyone feeling that way about me."

"Charlie will. He already does, though you don't realize it. He already mimics the things you do, watches your every move. You're his everything."

Blaine's eyes were glistening a little bit as he looked adoringly at his son. "I know I'm going to sound like such a cornball, but it's moments like this when I know it's all worth it."

Kurt smiled softly. "If I recall, the fact that you're always such a cornball was always one of my favorite things about you."

"It was," Blaine agreed quietly. He wouldn't look into Kurt's eyes. "I don't know when Charlie's going to have a chance to see me perform though," he said, changing the subject. "Probably in five years from never."

"Oh I don't think so," Kurt said. "You're in New York City now, concrete jungle where dreams are made of!"

Blaine rolled his eyes slightly but he couldn't help the smile that was tugging at his cheek muscles at Kurt spread his arms wide and began to belt out the chorus to _Empire State of Mind_.

_There's nothing you can't do  
Now you're in New York  
These streets will make you feel brand new  
Big lights will inspire you_

_Let's hear it for New York, New York, New York_

Kurt drew out the last "New York a little bit" throwing his hands wide in the air for dramatic effect. He had jumped on the arm of the couch for his mini-performance and had Blaine laughing and clapping his hands, Charlie shrieking too at Kurt's antics.

Kurt gave a sweeping bow on the couch theatrically, murmuring "Thank you, thank you very much," in his best impression of Elvis until he lost his footing and toppled sideways, landing ass on the floor, just missing grazing his head on the coffee table. His yelp of pain and muffled swear caused Charlie to scream more with laughter and for Blaine to fully double over.

Once he caught his breath, he walked over to help Kurt up, who was rubbing his sore ass and had a less than amused expression on his face.

"Well I'm glad at least he enjoyed it," he said, indicating his head toward Charlie who was still giggling. "I feel like Mike Wazowski from Monsters Inc."

"Does that make me Sully?" asked Blaine.

"'Fraid so," Kurt said with a smirk. "And Charlie's your Boo. Now that's what you get for laughing on someone else's pain. You are now officially a huge hairy cartoon monster."

"I'm sorry Babe. That was just, too much," Blaine said through his laughter, hardly noticing the accidental slip of the pet name.

Kurt didn't notice at first either but at the same time, it occurred to them both and they froze. Kurt chose to leave it unaddressed and quickly changed the subject, something he felt he had been doing a lot of that morning.

"Either way, before I humiliated myself, the point of that song was to let you know that seriously, the possibilities here for what you could do are endless. If you want to perform, you _can. _Sure it might take some hard work and perseverance, but if I know Blaine Anderson, and I do- those are both things you have in abundance."

"Yeah," Blaine shook his head. "But it's a lot different when you've got a baby to look after too. I can't just selfishly pursue my dreams. Charlie comes first."

"Well of course," Kurt allowed. "But putting Charlie first doesn't meaning ignoring all your dreams. You want to perform, you still can. You've got to support your kid somehow, might as well be doing something you love."

"I don't have time for all that. I need to find a job _now_, so I can pay the rent…"

"Ridiculous," Kurt said, waving a hand in Blaine's face. "Don't worry about rent right now okay? We've got it covered. I just want you to find something out here that makes you happy. You deserve it."

Blaine smiled, not willing to get into an argument with Kurt right now, but not really feeling comfortable with all the generosity.

Kurt grinned back. "Well why don't you keep on bouncing the little kiddo there, while I run some errands? It shouldn't take me long and when I get back, we can take shifts with him, give you a little break."

"Oh Kurt, you really don't have to worry about it. I don't want this to be any sort of burden on you at all. Plus, don't you have to work today?"

Kurt shook his head. "Got the day off," he explained, not bothering to mention that he called in to take a personal day on account of Blaine and helping him and Charlie get settled in.

"Okay," Blaine replied somewhat warily. "Well run your errands then. But you really don't need to help out with Charlie-"

Kurt stopped him with a firm hand against his chest. "Try and stop me," he said, and Blaine's heart was suddenly beating very fast, mostly from the close contact and he couldn't formulate the words to protest.

"Now I'll be back in a bit. You guys just hang tight."

"Kay," Blaine murmured because his brain wasn't really functioning properly right now, but also because, what else could they really do?

x-x-x-x-x-x

Kurt returned to the apartment about an hour later, very pleased with himself. He was humming lightly as he unlocked the door and set his purchases on the floor by the counter. His cheerful reverie, however, was quickly shattered by the sound of ear piercing screams. At first, Kurt thought briefly to panic, but then he remembered there was a baby in the house, and babies often screamed, for no very important reason at all. Still, he was a little bit worried, about Blaine especially, so he hurried to follow the sound of the screaming into Blaine's room.

The first thing he noted was what a mess it was; Blaine still not having had a chance to unpack and his sundry items tossed everywhere in a frantic manner, as though he had been searching for something. Blaine was standing, near to Charlie's crib, holding the infant in his arms while he wailed, bouncing him up and down in a gently rhythmic manner, though it didn't seem to be doing much to calm Charlie. The baby's face was tomato red and his screaming didn't slow. Kurt rushed over.

"What happened?"

"Oh- geez- sorry, I didn't even realize you were back. I just finally got him to sleep in my arms, and stupid me, tried putting him down for a bit so I could maybe unpack a little or nap- but of course he woke up screaming a few minutes later and now he's punishing me for trying to trick him." Blaine tried a chuckle but it was obvious he was frazzled.

"Does he have any particular toys he finds comforting?" Kurt asked in desperation. "Or maybe he's hungry?"

Blaine shook his head. "I fed and burped him right after you left, he has a blanket he loves but he keeps getting uncomfortable in it because it's too hot right now, and I couldn't find his binky, which is my room is such a mess, but after I did find it, he proceeded to spit it out every time I put it in his mouth."

Kurt felt awful. Poor Blaine. He was struck again by how selfless and wonderful his ex-boyfriend was, and how much he just wanted to hug him in that moment, but the baby's crying made it harder to escape reality.

"Hold on. I might have something," Kurt instructed, running back into the kitchen and hoping desperately that his purchase this morning might be of some use to Blaine. He grabbed a particularly large box and carried it into Blaine's room.

"Behold," he said and removed the item from its cardboard cage with a flourish.

Blaine's eyes widened when he saw what Kurt had bought.

"Kurt. Oh my God."

The device that stood before them was a high-tech looking beige and white object. It had legs that supported a snuggly, plush baby seat and also several fancy looking buttons at the top. Resting above the seat was a mobile with several fuzzy birds attached.

"It's a Cradle 'n Swing," Kurt said a bit nervously. "Have you ever heard of them?"

"Yes, enough to know that they're fucking expensive!"

"Don't swear around the baby!" Kurt chastised.

"He can't hear us…Kurt…oh my God…this is…amazing but, wow, I can't accept this, we can't accept this, it's way too much."

"Think of it as a housewarming gift. Your official welcome to becoming roomies with Rach and me. Also, I think it may benefit us all in the end. You see," he said moving toward the object and playing with some of the buttons. "It mechanically rocks your baby. There are six speed settings, two different directions he can be rocked in and a bunch of different patterns. Plus, the mobile spins and plays different melodies. And it comes with a stuffed bunny." Kurt picked up the plush bunny and squeezed it for emphasis. Then he turned a bit shy. "I don't know, maybe it's some stupid gimmick the sales people got a sucker like me to fall for, but my aunt used to have one for my cousin and I just figured maybe this way, you could put Charlie down for a little and he would still feel like he was being held and rocked, so he wouldn't cry, and then you could get some rest, or something." He bit his lip and kicked at the floor a little bit. "If it's stupid, I can take it back. Although they're gonna be pissed at me, I made them assemble it in the store because I have no idea how to put things together and I figured the sooner we were able to use it, the better."

"Kurt," Blaine said, his voice nearly breaking.

Kurt looked at him, his heart having leapt entirely into his throat at the sight of Blaine's tear-filled eyes.

"This is honestly the most thoughtful thing anyone's ever done for me in…well as long as I can remember. Thank you, thank you so much," he said, and it was real, he was actually crying, and embracing Kurt as he did. Kurt could feel the wetness of his tears on his back but he couldn't care less because Blaine's arms were encircling him, Charlie, startled into silence by Blaine's crying, crushed gently between them. Kurt breathed deep the scent of baby and of Blaine, just like he remembered it, only better, and he wondered just how he was supposed to give this up, when the three of them like this just felt so impossibly right.


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: I am desperately sorry for the delay but I'm home now for the summer, finals behind me, so things should get rolling now! It's late so forgive any typos; I'll edit them out in the morning. I promise to be more frequent and consistent about updates if you promise to review :) I love you all. Wishing you Klainebows and Klisses while we all sit and steam over tonight's miserably teasing finale. And if you reviewed and I haven't responded yet, please forgive me and know that I will soon! Much love! xoxoxox**

* * *

"Are you absolutely _certain _that you don't mind babysitting for the night?"

"For the millionth time Blaine," Kurt said with a frustrated shake of his head, "I do not mind. Charlie and I are quite looking forward to it, actually." Kurt looked down fondly at the infant he balanced on one hip, kissing him tenderly on the forehead.

Blaine felt himself grinning stupidly at the sight, in spite of his best efforts not to. "I have to admit, I never quite thought that Kurt Hummel, of all people, would be so good with babies."

"Yeah well, neither did Kurt Hummel." Kurt lifted Charlie into the air, entirely distracted by him, bouncing him up and down in his arms until the baby was howling with joy. "I would venture to say I think Charlie might be the exception."

"No way," Blaine replied with a wink. "Now that I've seen you in action with Charlie, I'm almost certain that there was a child loving, baby worshipping, nanny extraordinaire always hiding beneath that superior fashionista queen bitch performer exterior."

"Did you just call me a bitch?" Kurt gasped, feigning offense.

"I did, but know that it was meant in only the most affectionate manner possible."

"Oh no, that is going to cost you Blaine Anderson. See if I ever volunteer to babysit again."

"If not for me, you'd do it for Charlie," Blaine decided confidently.

"Ugh," Kurt huffed and Blaine knew he had guessed right. "Sometimes," Kurt said to the wide-eyed baby, "Your daddy is just the worst."

"Hey now, I'm sure he'll have plenty of years to figure that out on his own without you speeding the process along," Blaine protested.

"Alright, that's enough talking. You're going to be late if you don't get your ass out of here pronto Anderson."

"Shit, you're right," Blaine answered, checking his watch. "Okay so you have-"

"All your numbers, the pediatrician's number, and if all else fails, Dad and Carole's number. She's a registered nurse Blaine. Plus, you seem to forget that I am a very responsible young adult."

"I know you're responsible, I know. I've just never really left him with anybody else before."

"Well I'm honored, but you can give me the speech when you get back. Everything's going to be _fine_."

"Will it?" Blaine asked, half-seriously, his brow furrowed with worry.

"Why do I get the sense it's not just me watching Charlie you're worried about, but you're stalling for your audition? You're going to be incredible Blaine. They'd be idiots not to take you."

Blaine was auditioning to be a part of a cover band that had advertised as needing a new vocalist in the newspaper. The band did mostly local gigs, often performing at house parties and weddings, although sometimes they had more high profile engagements like gallery openings and fashion events and important receptions. Blaine had already spoken with them extensively on the phone and they had liked him a lot. They tended to do a lot of Top 40, which was right up Blaine's alley. It was now just an actual audition and rehearsal with the band to see if everything jived that would decide whether Blaine was accepted. And Blaine was nervous.

"I know I just- God I don't want to make a complete ass out of myself."

"Then maybe just try to tone down your Katy Perry references," Kurt quipped but at the widening of Blaine's eyes quickly moved to rectify the situation. "I'm serious Blaine, you need to stop thinking about it and just _go_. They're going to love you. Everyone does."

Blaine stopped for a moment in his flurry of picking up things he was taking to the audition. "I remember that used to be the case," he murmured, meeting Kurt's reluctant gaze.

"Blaine," Kurt sighed, shifting Charlie in his arms. "This is not a conversation to have right now. Just go, and know that me and Charlie and Rachel are rooting for you. Okay? And I will be here when you get back so you can tell me all about how amazingly it went."

"Thank you. I mean it," Blaine said, moving it to crush both Kurt and Charlie simultaneously in a hug.

"I know you do," Kurt managed to gasp out. "Now for real. Get out before I kick your scrawny ass out. Out!"

"My ass isn't scrawny!" Blaine objected, but nevertheless, he finally left, grinning as he swept out the door.

"Oh and Adam said to wish you luck too!" Kurt called after him.

Blaine kept walking, pretending, though he knew it was rude, that he hadn't quite caught that part.

x-x-x-x-x-x

Charlie was screaming, had been for the past two hours, and Kurt was on his last nerve. He had tried everything, absolutely everything that he had ever seen Blaine do when Charlie cried. He had changed the baby's diaper, tried feeding him [but to no avail] and then distracting him with toys and rocking. Kurt had thought that maybe with some gentle bouncing and singing, Charlie would be lulled to sleep, but the baby would not allow himself to even become drowsy. He didn't want to be in Kurt's arms and he didn't want to be put down. They were both, to say the least, miserable.

Kurt thought about calling Blaine but was very reluctant to do so. This was Blaine's first attempt at getting a job in the city, and it was a job Blaine was actually excited about; if he got turned down, he would be incredibly disappointed. Kurt didn't want to let anything get in the way of this opportunity. Plus, and Kurt hated to admit it, calling Blaine would wound his pride a little bit. He didn't want Blaine to think of him as some mere kid [though he was older than Blaine technically], incapable of just watching an infant for a few hours. He wanted Blaine to be able to trust him, rely on him, especially when it came to Charlie. And Kurt _was_ good with Charlie, this was a fact. He had played with and looked after the baby a hundred times before and this had never happened. Of course the one time that Blaine was going on an important audition and leaving Charlie expressly in Kurt's care and Kurt's alone, _this_ would happen.

Halfway into the second hour, a slight panic began to set in. Kurt was no longer just annoyed, he was starting to get concerned. Charlie felt hot, very hot. Kurt bungled through the process of trying to find the baby thermometer amongst Blaine's mess of a bedroom while balancing the actual infant in one arm. Charlie was flailing and Kurt was getting more flustered by the second. He rummaged through Blaine's things haphazardly, tossing them in every direction when they weren't what he wanted. He was going so fast he almost ignored the folded up photograph that fluttered to the floor when he moved a stack of books. Curiosity getting the better of him, Kurt bent down to unfold the picture. It was of him and Blaine on his graduation from high school. He was wearing that stupid red gown and smiling triumphantly for the camera while Blaine had his smile trained on Kurt, and the look in his eyes- like Kurt hung the sun in the sky every morning- didn't fail to make Kurt's breath catch in his throat for the smallest of moments. The back of the photo read _Kurt, 2012 _in Blaine's neat script.

Kurt tried not to dwell on the photo; this was not the time for a trip down memory lane or to question _why_ Blaine might have been holding on to such a photo in the first place. No, no not the time. He had to find the goddamn baby monitor.

Finally, Kurt located it, but not before stuffing the already worn (worn!) photograph into the back pocket of his jeans. The baby thermometer was easy enough to use and Blaine had even had the wherewithal to demonstrate it to Kurt a few days ago in case of such a situation as this one- just apparently not the wherewithal to put it in an easily locatable spot.

Charlie did not stop crying as Kurt pressed the thermometer gently to the baby's ear and let it read his temperature. 101. Holy fuck. That was high for a fourteen-week-old wasn't it? That was high for _anybody_.

Kurt wanted to freak out but he knew that losing his head now would only be much worse for everybody in the end. He could fix this. He could. And Blaine did not need to be worried- he refused to interrupt him during his audition unless it proved to be something really serious.

But in the meantime, Kurt needed to step up to the plate and do something- _anything -_ to help Charlie.

So Kurt did what any good adult would do. He called his mom.

x-x-x-x-x-x

When Blaine turned his key in the lock, it was around 11 PM, which was a bit later than he had expected but the audition had gone well and Kurt hadn't called with any sort of crisis- so when the guys asked Blaine if he wanted to hang around and jam with them after they officially told him he was in, he'd said yes. Of course, a quick text to Kurt to check in on him revealed that everything was fine on their end, with a smiley emoticon accompanying it. Blaine grinned and wondered what he had been so worried about.

He couldn't help but sing the lyrics to one of the songs that the guys had been playing around with, an Imagine Dragons song that had easily become one of his favorites months ago after only hearing it a few times on his Spotify radio. For whatever reason, it always made him think of Kurt, but tonight more than ever.

_I don't ever wanna let you down  
I don't ever wanna leave this town  
'Cause after all  
This city never sleeps at night  
It's time to begin, isn't it?  
I get a little bit bigger, but then I'll admit  
I'm just the same as I was  
Now don't you understand  
That I'm never changing who I am_

"I was right," a voice said softly from Blaine's bedroom doorway. Blaine started a bit before realizing it was just Kurt, still wearing his faded jeans coupled with a soft gray Henley and looking sexy as ever.

"Jesus Kurt," Blaine said chuckling a bit. "You scared me. Right about what?"

"I knew that song would compliment your voice perfectly, the second I heard it on the radio. You can even ask Rachel. I called it," Kurt said with a simple smile and shrug of his shoulders.

Blaine felt himself smiling back, stupidly.

"Kurt, I got the spot. I'm in! I'm in a band!"

"Told you," Kurt said, allowing Blaine to squeeze him in another of his signature bone-crushing hugs before whispering. "I'm proud of you Blaine."

Blaine pulled back, willing himself not to get misty-eyed.

"How'd Charlie do?" he asked, quickly changing the subject.

"Charlie was good," Kurt said carefully, but Blaine wasn't fooled.

"Kurt?"

"Fine," Kurt sighed. "A little while after you left, Charlie started crying and wouldn't stop and it turned out he had a fever."

"A fever!" Blaine blanched, hurrying to his bedroom where Charlie was sleeping soundly on his back in the crib next to Blaine's bed. "A fever and you didn't call me! What the fuck were you thinking Kurt?"

Kurt crossed his arms over his chest defensively. "I was thinking that there was no point in calling you just to freak you out and ruin a great opportunity unless something was seriously wrong, and I was right."

"Something _is_ seriously wrong!" Blaine hissed over the sleeping child's form.

"No, there's not. He's fine now. I mean, I've continued checking his temperature over the past hour, but it's remained normal and unwavering."

"Kurt. You should've called me." There was ice in Blaine's tone.

"Blaine. I'm an adult. I'm capable of taking care of a child by myself. I promise you I did everything you would have. And Charlie is completely fine."

"I cannot fucking believe this. Out of everyone who I could've asked to watch Charlie, you were the one person I thought I could fully trust."

"You're overreacting Blaine. You _can_ trust me," Kurt countered.

"Overreacting? You're not his fucking father Kurt!"

The words were not meant to come out as harshly as they did, but harshly they came out nevertheless. Kurt couldn't help but flinch a little as if he had been stung.

"I'm aware," Kurt answered quietly.

"Kurt- I didn't- what I meant was- I know you're capable, you just don't know- he's all I have Kurt. I can't help but freak out sometimes."

"He's not all you have," Kurt murmured softly. "You'll always have me."

Blaine shook his head. "It's not the same and you know it. I really made a mess of things with you Kurt. I'm not going to do that with my son. He's like- he's like my second chance."

Hearing Blaine talk about Charlie, almost as if he were a replacement for Kurt, made the boy's insides flare with ridiculous, unbidden jealousy.

"Okay, things with us might not have ended that well, but that doesn't mean you can use your kid as penance or something," Kurt said a little woundedly.

"That's not what I meant. I just mean, he's- I love him. I want to do right by him. Every way I've ever failed, every mistake I've ever made- I'm not going to do those things with Charlie. I'm never going to let him down the way that I…" Blaine trailed off awkwardly.

"The way you let me down," Kurt finished.

"Yes." Blaine's voice was all but a whisper.

Kurt moved then and in a flash of a second he had his arms around Blaine, hugging him tightly. He felt the other's boy's body go slightly limp at the touch, felt something like tension melting from Blaine's bones as he slumped against Kurt.

"Shh," Kurt soothed, running his fingers up and down the back of Blaine's sweater as his body began to tremble slightly. "It's okay. Charlie's okay. I called Carole and then I called his pediatrician. They said to give him ibuprofen and put him in cool clothing, and make sure he was hydrated, and call if things didn't improve. And he did Blaine. His fever was gone within the hour. It was probably just a case of overheating. He's okay."

"I know," Blaine said, sobbing lightly in Kurt's arms. "Just- I trust you Kurt, you have to know that I do. I'm sorry I overreacted. But please, call me next time. I forget how capable you are sometimes and that was wrong of me. But I would rather be here to have you help me take care of him that not know. You shouldn't have to be responsible alone, anyway."

"I'm sorry," Kurt said, and he was. "I just wanted your audition to be perfect."

He felt Blaine smile against his cheek, which had become wet with his tears. "It pretty much was," he answered, and a spark of his earlier excitement was back.

"See?" Kurt asked, pulling away from Blaine to look him in the eyes. Even watery and red-rimmed, Blaine's hazel-green-amber irises were still the most beautiful sight Kurt thought he had ever seen. "I told you they'd love you. I told you you'd be amazing, didn't I?"

Blaine chuckled shakily, scrubbing at the last of his tears. "I seem to remember you saying something along those lines, yes."

"Well then. It seems like it's pretty obvious who you should be listening to from now on." Kurt grinned.

"You always were a cocky bastard."

"You love it," Kurt replied, and before he gave Blaine time to make things awkward he spun on his heel and headed for the kitchen.

"Now, I think this calls for a little celebration."

"Hmm?" Blaine, after checking one last time to make sure Charlie really was resting safely, followed Kurt to where he was pulling cocktail glasses out of the cupboard.

"Kurt," Blaine's eyes widened as the boy pulled out a box of margarita mix from the cupboard and followed it with a handle of tequila. "I've never known you to drink really."

"College quickly changes all of that," Kurt answered with a laugh. "And my guess is it's been way too long since you've had a drink either. What with being the responsible daddy now and all."

Blaine ran his fingers through his loosening curls with a sheepish smile. "No, I guess it has been a while. Can't say I'm opposed to a little celebration."

"Good," Kurt answered with satisfaction. "You need one. And also, you're in for a treat, because I've been storing away this Jose Cuervo forever just waiting for a rainy day and I happen to have a reputation for making the best margaritas."

"Is that so?" Blaine quirked an eyebrow.

Kurt shrugged with a small smile. "Ask Rachel."

"And now we add amazing bartender to the list of things Kurt Hummel is incredibly talented at. Why am I even surprised?"

"Hush you. Just let me work my magic."

"Mmhmm. I'm going to order us a pizza if that's okay with you. I'm starved." Blaine walked into the living room searching for his cell phone.

"Oh good idea!" Kurt called as he began measuring shots into a tumbler. "I forgot to eat too. Make sure to get it with-"

"Extra cheese, I know," Blaine answered, secretly loving the fact that after all this time he could still guess exactly what Kurt was going to say.

x-x-x-x-x-x

The two ate in comfortable relative silence, only speaking occasionally to comment on something about the pizza or how hungry they both were. They were both tired and focused on inhaling their food, so little words needed to be exchanged. Kurt couldn't stop Blaine from getting up several times to check on Charlie's sleeping form, but he had to admit that if Blaine hadn't been here to do it, he'd be doing the exact same thing.

When Kurt handed Blaine his margarita, Blaine couldn't help but grin. Despite their limited resources, and Kurt only being a nineteen-year-old student, he had dipped the rims of his cocktail glasses in salt and placed tiny toothpick umbrellas in each carefully mixed golden drink, garnished with a slice of lime.

"Here's to new beginnings!" Kurt said cheesily, raising his glass to clink it lightly with Blaine's.

"New beginnings," Blaine repeated and took a sip. "Jesus Kurt, this stuff is potent!"

"Uh huh," Kurt agreed. "That's why mine are the best."

"Holy shit," Blaine spluttered, eyes watering a little bit. "I think about one of these is enough to do me in."

"I do seem to recall you having a fairly low tolerance to alcohol back in the day," Kurt mused. "But maybe you've built it up since then?"

"I don't think so," Blaine said nearly gagging on his next sip before setting the glass aside to grab some water. "I don't think I'm going to be able to drink more than one of these," he reiterated to Kurt. "Getting hammered while your baby is sleeping and coming down off a fever: definitely not in the list of responsible dad things."

"Whatever you say Blaine," Kurt replied, but with a telltale glint in his eye that promised Blaine Anderson would definitely be having more than just one drink if Kurt had anything to say about it.

x-x-x-x-x-x

Ninety minutes later both boys were lying on their backs on the floor, laughing insatiably at…well…something that had obviously been hilarious in the moment…though neither of them could remember it anymore. Blaine slowed his laughter first and leaned over to prop himself up on one elbow so that he could effectively stare at Kurt.

Kurt felt the heat of Blaine's gaze on him and moved so that he was in the same position as Blaine, their eyes meeting through the drunken, tipsy haze.

Blaine reached out and playfully pushed Kurt's shoulder. "You got me drunk."

Kurt smiled, a healthy flush in his cheeks.

"I guess I did."

"I'm going to have to punish you for that."

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Kinky."

"God-no-jeez Kurt," Blaine stammered blushing a bit, but not nearly as much as he would've been if he was sober. He then seemed to think better of his quick rebuttal and added, "Like you'd even be into that."

Kurt shrugged nonchalantly. "We broke up before you ever got the chance to really find out."

"We were sleeping together for…months!" Blaine slurred, unable to remember the exact number of them in his inebriated state. "I think it would've come out by then. Or has Adam brought out a new exciting side of you that I never knew about?"

"Hey!" It was Kurt's turn to push lightly at Blaine. "Are you trying to say I wasn't exciting?"

"Definitely not. No," Blaine shook his head so adamantly Kurt was sure he was going to hurt himself.

"Good," Kurt replied, ignoring the Adam comment altogether. "I forgot!" he said suddenly, yanking out the photograph from where it was stabbing into his backside through one of his thin jean pockets.

Blaine suddenly became very pale beneath his rosy cheeks. "Where did you get that?"

"No no no," Kurt sang, rolling away from Blaine, keeping the photograph out of reach. "I get to ask the questions."

"Kurt, give it back," Blaine said in a warning tone that sounded rather more pouty than the severe he had been going for.

"Tell me why you have it. Better yet, tell me how long you've been carrying it around. Do you keep it in your pocket? Because it's awfully worn. Oh God- you don't… _do that _to it, do you?"

"Fuck Kurt, no! Gross!" Blaine was blushing heavily now and Kurt couldn't help but be greatly amused at the way Blaine's face was changing colors and how he was squirming.

"Answer me then!" Kurt teased, rolling away once more as Blaine snatched for the photo.

"It's just a nice memory, that's _all_," he grunted as he finally pinned Kurt and retrieved his photograph.

"Ha!" Blaine yelled triumphantly, waving the photograph in the air.

"You still lose," Kurt smirked. "I found the picture and I _know _you've been carrying it around. Your secret is out Anderson." Kurt's voice was soft, a little breathy, and it took Blaine a drunken moment to realize why. It was because Blaine was now straddling Kurt's hips, one hand casually resting on his chest. He hadn't even realized it. But now that he did, it was all he could think about. Those perfect, plump, rosy lips, so ready and eager. The solid feel of Kurt's body beneath him, trapped and pinned to the floor by his own. The tousled brown hair, eyes he could swim in for days. How close his own cock was to Kurt's slightly hardened one. The sound of Kurt's breathing, coming faster and more labored now. The fact that Blaine hadn't hooked up with anybody since a drunken hand job in February, right after Kurt left to return to New York. Blaine hadn't even liked the guy, had only done it to attempt to erase the painful memories of being with Kurt, and then Kurt leaving him. It obviously hadn't worked.

"Blaine," Kurt whispered and his voice was thick with need. Blaine felt himself start to get hard just at the lusty sound of Kurt's voice alone.

"Kurt," he replied, thinking about how easy it would be, how freaking easy, to just bend down a little more right now, move his lips a few inches, and finally meet with Kurt's. He wanted it so badly. Kurt wanted it too, if they way he reached up and wound his fingers through the curls at the nape of Blaine's neck was any indication at all.

Their eyes met again and Kurt's were filled with need and a pressing desire. Yes, he did want it. Fuck he wanted it. Blaine could _feel_ him, fully erect against his thigh now, wanting it. So why couldn't he just bring himself to-

Saved by the bell. Charlie's shrill screams suddenly filled the air and Blaine moved so fast he banged his shin sharply on the coffee table. It throbbed and stung and Blaine swore violently, stumbling to make it to his bedroom.

"Blaine, slow down, you're no good to anyone if you injure yourself on my furniture," Kurt admonished, hurrying after him in a much more graceful manner.

Blaine had picked up Charlie and was gently bouncing him against his chest, trying to calm the infant's tears.

"Shit Kurt!" he whispered frantically as Kurt entered the bedroom. "What if his fever's back? And I'm drunk! What the hell?"

"Relax," Kurt said, moving to hold a hand to Charlie's forehead. "He doesn't feel warm. I'll check." He moved to get the baby thermometer and took Charlie's temperature for what had to be the hundredth time that night. "A perfect 98.6. He's fine Blaine."

"Then why's he crying?" Blaine said, fussing with the baby's hair.

Kurt shot him an are-you-serious look and Blaine realized how stupid his question had been. Babies cried all the time, for hundreds of different reasons. But still? What if Charlie was crying because he was in some kind of pain? Just because his fever had broke didn't mean he was okay. God, Blaine didn't even know what time it was. Late, definitely. Very late.

Kurt suddenly came back into the room, Blaine not even having realized he left.

"Here," Kurt said, holding out his hand to Blaine. In it was a warmed-up bottle of Charlie's formula. Blaine looked at it dubiously.

"He wouldn't eat earlier. Try him now," Kurt urged, thrusting the bottle back at Blaine.

Blaine sighed and took it, shifting Charlie in his arms so that he could better lower the bottle to the baby's mouth. The moment the rubber tip brushed against Charlie's lips, he stopped squirming and eagerly began to suck at it. Within moments, all traces of tears had dried up.

Blaine looked at Kurt in relief.

"See?" Kurt said with a small inclination of his head. "Just hungry."

"I really should listen to you more, huh?" Blaine said, looking at Kurt in vague wonderment.

"Oh stop. You were just too panicked to think. And drunk, I might add. I'm sorry about that."

Blaine shrugged it off. "It's not like you poured it down my throat." He tilted the bottle a little more so Charlie could access more of the formula. "Thanks Kurt," he mumbled through a yawn. "For everything."

"Don't mention it. Here," Kurt moved toward him, taking first the bottle, and then the baby, out of Blaine's hands. "Let me feed him for a little while. Why don't you put your PJs on?"

"No, Kurt, you don't have to…I can…" But Blaine could hardly talk around his yawning.

"Mhm. That's what I thought. You were out for hours at an audition and then I kept you up drinking. And Lord knows Charlie's gonna wake up early in the morning. Well. It already is morning. But yeah, you need to get what rest you can. PJs, now. Spit spot."

"Okay Mom," Blaine grumbled but he was smiling. Kurt tried not to stare too hard as he settled into the secondhand rocking chair they had put in the corner of the bedroom and watched Blaine strip out of his sweater, jeans and undershirt.

_Well, tit for tat, _he thought, remembering that Blaine had already caught him in his briefs that one morning. He could look a little if he wanted.

All of it was covered up far too quickly in Kurt's opinion, but not too quickly to afford Kurt a delicious glimpse of those abdominal muscles he had always appreciated so much, still as defined as ever, or to remind Kurt how much he had used to love Blaine's ass.

He found himself licking his lip absentmindedly and wondered at how inappropriate it was to have indecent thoughts while holding an infant.

Blaine turned to Kurt once dressed in matching flannel pajamas [and Kurt couldn't help but smile at his ex-boyfriend's penchant for pajama sets] and held out his arms for Charlie.

"Nope. Brush your teeth first. I want the whole bedroom routine completed mister."

Blaine's eyes sparkled in surprise and amusement but he did as he was told. By the time he returned to Kurt, Kurt was gently patting Charlie's back as he held him against the burping cloth on his shoulder.

"You're like, basically made to be a dad," Blaine mumbled sleepily and Kurt rewarded him with his dazzling smile.

"I don't know. You're a lot to compete with. Now why don't you get into bed?"

"What? Kurt, no, the baby hasn't been put down yet."

"I can do it. I insist. Don't worry, I'm going to stay right here, you'll be close to him. Just get into bed."

"I can't let you-"

"You can. And you will. I can physically force you if I have to."

"No need for that," Blaine murmured, blushing at his earlier memory of when "physical force" had come into play between them.

"Good. Now go to bed Blaine."

Blaine, too tired to argue it further, leaned down to place a tender kiss on Charlie's head. Since Charlie's head was resting on Kurt's shoulder, Kurt could literally feel Blaine's body heat, smell his wintergreen mouthwash still fresh on his breath, and then, the lightest touch of Blaine's cheek as his stubble brushed up against Kurt's own smoother face when he pulled away. Once again, Kurt's mind was flooded with dirty thoughts while holding a baby.

"Night Kurt," Blaine whispered rather huskily before moving to his bed and crawling beneath the comforter. He let out a contented exhale as he relaxed into the mattress. His breathing deepened almost instantly and Kurt chuckled softly to himself.

A few minutes passed before Kurt heard Blaine whisper,

"Kurt."

"Hmm?" Kurt murmured, having been almost certain that both Charlie and Blaine were currently fast asleep.

"Will you sing to me?" he mumbled drowsily and he sounded so innocent and vulnerable in that moment that Kurt couldn't help the way his heart clenched.

Kurt grinned in spite of himself. "What do you want me to sing?"

"Doesn' matter," Blaine drifted off.

"Okay," Kurt said around a smile.

He searched his brain for a moment, finally deciding what the hell, why not be cheesy, because odds were, after all, Blaine wouldn't even remember this in the morning.

He started off softly at first, letting his sweet countertenor gently fill the room:

_You're better than the best; I'm lucky just to linger in your light  
Cooler than the flip-side of my pillow, that's right  
Completely unaware, nothing can compare to where you send me  
Let's me know that it's okay, yeah, it's okay  
And the moments when my good times start to fade_

Kurt heard Blaine sigh softly in the bed so he kept singing,

_You make me smile like the sun, fall outta bed  
Sing like a bird, dizzy in my head  
Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night  
You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe  
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee  
Just the thought of you can drive me wild  
Oh, you make me smile_

As Kurt finished the last words of the chorus, Blaine's breathing had evened out into heavy exhales and inhales and Kurt crept over holding the sleeping Charlie carefully to make sure Blaine was really asleep. He was. Satisfied, Kurt tiptoed back to the rocking chair and settled back in with Charlie, who nestled against his chest in his sleep.

As Kurt felt his own eyelids begin to close he thought to himself that he really wouldn't mind falling asleep this way every night.

x-x-x-x-x-x

When Blaine woke up the next morning, his head was pounding and it took him a moment to remember why. Kurt. The margaritas. Ugh, what a terrible idea.

He forced himself to get up and stagger to the bathroom where he chugged two glasses of water and popped a couple Advil. He ran his fingers through his hair and surveyed himself in the mirror. Shit. He looked like hell.

He walked back to his bedroom, thinking that he'd better check on Charlie when a sight stopped him dead in the doorway.

There was Kurt, sleeping in the rocking chair, Charlie snuggled against him, the pair breathing almost in unison. Kurt must have slept here all night. He was still wearing his clothes from yesterday. He was going to have one massive crick in his neck when he woke up, Blaine thought. On that note, he was surprised Charlie hadn't awoken both of them yet with his crying to be fed. But then again, his feeding schedule was all off from the fever yesterday.

More bits and pieces of the previous night's events were coming back to Blaine as he stared at the sleeping pair, not the least of which were the almost-kiss on the floor as well as Kurt singing to him before he fell asleep. That stupid Uncle Kracker song. It was so- ugh- Kurt couldn't just _sing _things like that to him.

Then again, he had been the one who had asked Kurt to sing to him. _That was awfully out of line, Anderson_, he chastised.

_But Kurt. Kurt basically asked you to kiss him. It was all over his face._

_Yes and he was also very drunk. Thank God you _didn't_ kiss him. You definitely would've been regretting that right about now_.

Blaine sighed. It was true, it certainly would've made things awkward if he had made a move on Kurt the night before and it would have been out of line but God, a big part of him- a stupid part, but a big part nonetheless- wished he had just gone for it, taken it while it was being offered.

It would've been such a bad, bad idea. But worth it to be with Kurt again.

And yet something had been stopping him. All the signs were there, the situation was perfect and he hadn't been able to do it. What was that about?

Blaine nearly jumped out of his skin when Kurt stirred in the chair.

"Oh, God," Kurt groaned as he came to, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. "Did I really sleep in this chair all night?"

"'Fraid so," Blaine said with a sympathetic smile. "Here." He took Charlie from Kurt and handed him the glass of water and Advil he had had the good sense to grab for him from the bathroom. Kurt took the items and downed them gratefully.

"Thanks."

"The least I could do," Blaine replied, walking over to place Charlie in his crib.

"How'd you sleep?" Kurt inquired.

"Like a log," Blaine said. "Best night's sleep I've had in ages. In spite of the hangover," he added with a chuckle.

"Look, about that Blaine-"

"Hold up. This sounds like it might be a serious conversation, and serious conversations after a night of drinking can only be held over coffee."

Kurt smiled tiredly and nodded in agreement and Blaine padded out into the kitchen to put a pot on. Kurt followed after him, setting out two mugs and a small pitcher of cream along with a sugar bowl. When they had both fixed themselves a cup to their liking and were sitting across from each other at the breakfast bar, Kurt spoke again.

"I'm sorry Blaine. I'm really, so sorry for everything last night. First, not calling you when Charlie had a fever and then, for getting you drunk and everything. It was so irresponsible of me. I just wanted to lighten your load a little bit, lift some of the responsibility from your shoulders but it feels like I made everything worse. And I'm really sorry for that. I want to be someone you can trust and lean on, not someone who's immature and complicates your life even further. I just- I'm so proud of you Blaine. You've grown up so much, so fast. You're much more mature than I am. Sometimes I'm sad, because I feel like you should still have the chance to be a kid and you've lost that. But the man that you are now- he's amazing, and Charlie's so lucky to have you in his life. And so am I," Kurt finished and they were both a little teary-eyed.

"Kurt." Blaine reached out and took Kurt's hand. "Hearing you say that means a lot to me, because all I've ever really wanted to do was make you proud. But I want you to know you shouldn't be apologizing for anything. Instead, I should be telling you how grateful I am. You took care of Charlie and me. Of course I trust you. You showed me I needed to stop being so uptight about everything- and you were really there for me, in a way that no one else has ever been. I needed last night, Kurt. I know I won't have many other nights like it. I appreciate it. You're just as mature as I am, you just don't see it."

Kurt smiled shakily at Blaine. "I'm glad. Honestly Blaine, you don't know how awful I feel, about the whole fever thing."

"Don't even mention it," Blaine said sincerely. "You did the right thing. You knew what you were doing. I trust you and I'm sorry I underestimated you. And now," Blaine added with a triumphant grin, "I have a job."

"You have a job." Kurt smiled back.

Blaine got up from the breakfast bar to go around to the other end and hug Kurt.

"I couldn't have done it without you," he whispered into Kurt's ear as he rested his head on his shoulder.

Kurt pulled back a little bit to look into Blaine's eyes.

"_Now_ who's underestimating himself?"

But Blaine wasn't listening. Kurt's eyes were that enchanting mix of blue and green and yellow and Blaine just wanted to drown in them all day. All the feelings from last night came rushing back, all of that pent-up desire, the tantalizing look of need in Kurt's face. Blaine wanted it, wanted Kurt now just as badly as he could ever have remembered wanting him, if not more. But they weren't drunk anymore, and this wasn't a game. He couldn't just…take what he wanted. Could he?

While he was debating in his head, Kurt made the decision for him and leaned in to close the distance between their lips, and in that moment, all of the distance that had developed between them over the past seven months- even more than that, the past year of their being officially apart. He felt it- the same fire and spark and other, unnamable thing that had always drawn him to Kurt, would always draw him to Kurt over any other man. This was who he needed. This was who he _loved. _This was…

This was wrong.

Kurt was in a relationship and he had certainly never said that he forgave Blaine. If anything, this was just another desperate hook-up like February had been. And February had left Blaine messed up for months. He couldn't deal with rejection like that again. This meant so much to Blaine; it needed to mean something to Kurt as well. Blaine pulled back abruptly.

"What? What's wrong?" Kurt was looking at him, all rosy-cheeked, a look of fear in his amazing eyes.

"We can't do this," Blaine sighed, running a hand through his curls.

"Why not?"

"Because. It's not right. You're seeing someone."

Kurt opened his mouth to speak but Blaine cut him off.

"I made a mistake once by cheating on the only person I've ever truly loved. It's been tearing me apart ever since. I'm not- I never want to be involved in that ever again. I'm not going to let you do that to someone else. I'm not going to be the guy you do it with. Adam deserves better than that and I _need _better than that. I can't pretend like this doesn't mean anything to me Kurt. If we were together again- it just- it means something to me. We can't be friends with benefits. That doesn't work for us. Or at least, not for me. It'll always be more when it's with you."

Kurt was looking at him sadly but with something like determination in his eyes. "Are you asking me to choose between him and you?"

"No. Absolutely not, Kurt. I'd never put you in that position."

"But you want me back Blaine. Don't you?" Kurt moved in close to Blaine, breathing softly on his neck, sending tingles up and down his spine with every light exhale.

"Fuck, of course I do," Blaine managed to groan, as Kurt reached down and cupped Blaine's crotch through his pajama pants.

"I want you too. I've never stopped thinking about you," Kurt muttered as he began to mouth across the tender skin on Blaine's neck.

"Kurt," Blaine rasped but Kurt didn't respond, simply continued trailing down Blaine's neck, nibbling at the revealed skin in the v of his pajama top. "Kurt!" he said, finally disentangling himself.

Kurt stared at him, a look of unmistakable hurt settling onto his beautiful face.

"I told you Kurt. It doesn't matter what I want. I won't be that guy again. I don't want you like this. Not like this."

Kurt paled at Blaine's words and Blaine wanted to kick his own ass for giving this up but he knew, _knew_ that this was the right thing and he would never let himself lose sight of that again. He'd made a promise, after last time.

"You don't want me like this either Kurt. You think you do, but you don't," Blaine whispered.

Kurt said nothing, simply nodded once to acknowledge that he had heard Blaine, and then looked down at the floor an expression of anguish painting his features as he walked hurriedly out of the kitchen and into the sanctuary offered behind the closed doors of his bedroom.


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: It's almost 5 AM but I promised I'd have this up tonight [or this morning] and I wouldn't let myself sleep till I did it, so here it is. Nighty night time now but I'll edit the typos and awkwardly worded sentences when I wake up. I'm sorry if some of it seems a bit off; to be honest, it's all sort of a blur. I honestly did not expect this chapter to take the turn it did but then voila, all of a sudden things were happening and clothes were flying and it was out of my control. Review if you like? I'll love you forever :] xoxox**

**Warning: SMUT. Heavy teasing, light bondage play and perhaps a light trace of BD themes? Very light. But I suppose you could claim it's there. Just to warn you. Now devour away!**

**Song used in the chapter is "Wait for the Morning" by Amy Stroup**

* * *

When Blaine ventured out of his room later that day, he heard the sound of giggling coming from the couch in the living room. He had been holed up with Charlie most of the day, trying to figure out where to proceed from here with regards to what had happened with Kurt. He didn't want things to be awkward now but he wasn't sure how to avoid it. It was probably too late.

Finally he decided he would just brave the unknown, walk out of his room, and try and talk to Kurt. If Kurt was willing to talk, good, they would talk, and Blaine would explain all his feelings and about how he just couldn't, just _couldn't_, risk his heart again by sleeping with Kurt while he was seeing someone else.

And maybe- maybe Blaine would get completely shot down, all of his last hopes finally and utterly trashed. But that would be better than never having tried at all, wouldn't it?

So needless to say, Blaine was incredibly surprised to hear the sounds of quiet laughter drifting from the living room, the laughter getting louder and high pitched as Kurt shrieked at someone to "stop it!" Blaine knew the other person with Kurt couldn't be Rachel; she was away for the weekend. Kurt had informed Blaine of Rachel and Brody's drama-filled break-up, and Blaine couldn't help but be glad for Finn. And yet the girl was mysteriously away this weekend, saying she was staying with some girlfriends and practicing for an upcoming audition. It seemed awfully suspicious to Blaine and he wondered if she wasn't still fooling around with that Brody kid after all. But in the end, it wasn't really any of his business, except that it meant that Kurt and Blaine would [awkwardly] have the apartment to themselves for the weekend.

Except for whoever this guest was that Kurt had over.

Blaine ducked behind the wall and listened to the goings-on in the living room, unwilling to walk in there like a lamb being brought to the slaughterhouse when he could at least try to prepare himself.

In a moment, he heard the strains of that infuriating snooty British accent and his greatest fears were confirmed. Kurt _was_ in there with Adam, his _boyfriend_, acting like nothing at all had happened between him and Blaine whatsoever. Not only was he proving that Blaine had been right not to hook up with him, but he was also doing the same thing to Adam that Blaine had done to him- except worse- Kurt was _lying_ about it. At least Blaine had respected and loved his boyfriend enough to tell him when he made a mistake.

Nevertheless, Blaine squared his shoulders and gave himself a small pep talk. He could go in there. Yes he could. He could just march right in. He was Blaine Fucking Anderson. A musician. A _real_ performer. Not like this Adam guy. He didn't have anything to be intimidated by. If Kurt wanted to pick Adam, so be it, but Blaine wasn't going to tiptoe around them in the home where he and his son lived.

Blaine entered the living room, prepared for battle.

"Oh my God, _Blaine!" _It was Adam's voice and he sounded absolutely overjoyed at Blaine's presence, which was rather suspicious.

"Blaine, Kurt said you weren't feeling well but I have to admit, I was just waiting for the moment you crept out of your room so that I could pounce!" Adam sounded charming and excited and thoroughly delighted with himself and it made Blaine feel sick to his stomach.

"Hey Adam," he said with a half-hearted nod at the Brit who was sitting on the couch next to Kurt, arm twined around him like he was guarding a valuable possession. Kurt didn't acknowledge Blaine, neither with his voice nor with his eyes. Instead, he kept them stalwartly trained on the ground.

"Good God Man, you _must _be sick, you sound as though your mother has just died! Good thing I'm here then, I've got just the thing to cheer you up."

Adam got up off the couch and yanked a rather unsuspecting looking young man off the corner chair with a slight yelp.

"Blaine, meet Geoffrey."

The man stuck a large hand out awkwardly to shake Blaine's. Blaine took in Geoffrey. He wasn't very tall, but he had a very muscular body despite his light build, much like Blaine himself. Geoffrey had smooth, mocha colored skin, kind eyes, and a wide grin. Blaine hated to admit it, but he was rather attractive.

"Nice to meet you Geoffrey," Blaine said carefully.

"Likewise."

God and his voice was sexy too. Dammit Adam!

"Geoffrey is in the Adam's Apples with us," Adam explained.

"Oh, you're in the Adam's Apples?" Blaine tried to sound interested.

Geoffrey smirked knowingly. "It's not as lame as it sounds, I promise. Adam was telling me you used to do Glee Club."

"Back in high school," Blaine said modestly.

"That's nothing to shake a finger at," Geoffrey said generously. "From what I gather you're pretty talented. Kurt said you're in a band?"

Blaine flushed. "Sort of. It's nothing too exciting; we just do covers mostly. It's a new gig."

Geoffrey shrugged. "Sounds exciting to me. Maybe you can come and hear the Adam's Apples perform sometime and in exchange, I'll come and check out your band."

Blaine felt himself smiling a little bit despite himself. "I'd like that."

"Okay!" Kurt called suddenly, the first words he had spoken since Blaine entered the room. His voice sounded more high-pitched than normal and strained. "Who wants some wine? And cheese! I've got cheese!"

Adam chuckled fondly and Blaine felt himself bristling. "There's my darling, ever the perfect host." He gave Kurt a playful swat on the bum as Kurt got up to get the wine and cheese.

"I'll go help him," Blaine said, quickly moving away from Geoffrey and his distracting biceps that could easily be seen through his navy blue V-neck to grab a moment with Kurt.

"Blaine!" Kurt looked more than a little uncomfortable at Blaine's sudden presence in the kitchen. "Why aren't you out there talking with Geoffrey?"

"Because you're in _here_, avoiding talking to me. Did you tell Adam what happened?"

Kurt turned a violent shade of red. "N-no. I'm not _suicidal_ Blaine. Plus, according to you, there's nothing to really tell, is there?"

"Like hell there isn't!" Blaine yelled, making Kurt start sharply. "What I'm saying is," Blaine modified. "Just because I didn't sleep with you earlier doesn't mean you get to act like a petulant little kid. I didn't do it to be mean, Kurt. I did it to do the right thing."

"The right thing?" Kurt scoffed. "'The right thing' didn't seem to be of any concern to you at all when you _fucked_ that little jackass from Dalton when we were together."

"Do not throw that in my face. I have spent months apologizing for that Kurt and you _know_ how sorry I am. That's why I won't sleep with you now. I told you. I'm trying to make up for my past mistakes."

"Well good luck to you then on your sainted venture. I hope it all turns out really well for you. Meanwhile I'm going to bring this wine out to my boyfriend. And from now on, you don't have to worry, I'll just leave you alone because I have no interest in being another one of your _mistakes_ Blaine," Kurt spat bitterly.

Blaine caught Kurt's elbow as he tried to waltz out of the room, wine bottle and glasses in tow. "Kurt, Adam deserves to know."

"There's nothing to know," Kurt said with a pained look in his blue-green eyes that cut right to Blaine's soul. "Bring the cheese would you?"

x-x-x-x-x-x

It turned out that Geoffrey had spent a year in the Peace Corps before deciding to attend NYADA, so he was Adam's age, although he had only been there for the traditional four years. Geoffrey spent all night entertaining Blaine with stories of his adventures while serving as well as about his crazy friends and the widely infamous cast parties of the theater program at NYADA. Geoffrey had been in a production of _The Lion King_ on Broadway when he was just a kid. He was hoping to get back into the swing of things upon graduating, but he still sometimes thought about going back to the Peace Corps. He claimed it was the hardest but most rewarding experience of his twenty-two years.

Blaine listened, paying the older man rapt attention as he spoke, partly because he was ignoring Kurt, and partly because Geoffrey really was incredible. And yet humble at the same time. If Blaine had been in a better frame of mind, he really would've wanted to date the guy. Since that was what he was pretty sure this was- a set-up from an insecure Adam. He wondered how the two could even be friends.

Kurt and Adam had disappeared to the kitchen a little while ago when Blaine realized that Charlie would be needing to be fed soon. Not wanting to excuse himself from this hot guy by saying, "Hey I have to go take care of my son," he wondered if he could just send Adam and Kurt back in and then discreetly excuse himself for a few minutes. He wasn't positive, but he didn't think Geoffrey knew he had a kid, and even though he wasn't planning on dating the guy, he still didn't want to send him running for the hills.

Blaine paused as he was about to enter the kitchen, unable to help but overhear the conversation being held in restrained but angry voices.

"You could have at least told me you were bringing him," Kurt was saying a little bit irritably in the kitchen.

"Kurt. Tsk tsk. If I didn't know better I'd say you were jealous."

"Jealous for your time maybe. I invited _you_ over, not you and your Adam's Apples friends."

"I just thought it might be nice for Blaine to meet somebody who doesn't live in this apartment. He must get awfully bored you know. And lonely."

"I don't think Blaine is lonely," Kurt said through gritted teeth.

"I don't think you get to make that judgment Sweetheart."

"Well why'd you have to pick _Geoffrey?_"

"What's wrong with Geoffrey? He's nice, good-looking enough. Not really that close of a friend honestly, the way he goes on and on about his Peace whatever work- bores me to tears. But I thought he and Blaine might have something in common. Blaine being…well…the humanitarian sort you know?"

"I don't think he's good for Blaine."

Adam chuckled. "You're worse than an Italian mama. How about we let Blaine decide for himself who he likes and dislikes, alright?"

"Whatever," Kurt muttered.

"I'm sorry Kurt, is something wrong?" Adam asked in a clipped tone.

"Yeah, I kind of have a problem with your attitude," Kurt snapped.

"My _attitude? _Wait, no, I'm sorry, _my_ attitude? This coming from the one who's been in a foul, rotten mood all night, sulking on the couch, criticizing me and ignoring everyone else?"

Kurt didn't say anything.

"Well?"

"I don't like…I don't like seeing…I'm sorry Adam, I'm just tired and I've missed you. I wanted you all to myself. I was being selfish. Forgive me?"

The sound of Kurt's vest rustling against Adam's jacket could be heard in the otherwise deafening silence. Oh, great. They were hugging now.

"I forgive you," Adam said, his voice low and predatory. "In fact I think it's rather sexy when you get all possessive." He meowed in what Blaine supposed he thought was a erotic way and Blaine could hear the sound of the two kissing. Charlie's [as always] perfectly-timed cries pulled them apart. Blaine tried to enter the kitchen as though he had not just been standing at the doorway listening.

"Oh man, sounds like someone's hungry again," he said with a light chuckle as he interrupted the two men's privacy.

"Better get on that," Adam told him and Blaine resisted the urge to claw his eyeballs out of his sockets.

"I'm on my way," Blaine said with a tight-lipped smile. He was furious. Furious with Adam for being a prick, though that was nothing new, but also furious at Kurt, for failing to tell the truth once again. Kurt was acting the way he was because of the entire situation between them and yet he had outright lied to Adam. That wasn't the Kurt Hummel Blaine had known and loved.

He angrily yanked at the refrigerator door, causing some of the condiments on the shelves to knock together precariously as he grabbed one of the bottles of formula that were stored right above the vegetables.

"Don't let me get in your way. Just got to heat this up." Blaine reached between the couple for the microwave door handle, trying to keep his utter disgust from creeping into his voice.

Geoffrey entered the room. "Hey Kurt, Blaine, I just wanted to say thanks so much for having me, but I've really got to run now. I'm on call tonight for this animal shelter and hospital I volunteer at and it looks like they've got some kind of emergency. But Blaine," Geoffrey said, turning to land his gorgeous, thickly lashed eyes on Blaine as he shouldered his brown leather jacket. "Call me sometime if you want to hang out, grab a bite to eat, maybe talk some more. I'd like to hear more about you instead of just me talking your ear off all night." Geoffrey handed Blaine a business card and was out the door before any of them could really register what had happened.

Blaine looked down at his hands and realized that the bottle of baby formula was in his other hand; shit, Geoffrey definitely had to have noticed that. And Charlie had started crying in the bedroom- right before Geoffrey had suddenly needed to leave for an "emergency" at the animal shelter place. That was a bullshit excuse if he ever heard one. Geoffrey was scared off because of Charlie. Although that didn't explain why he had given Blaine his number…Probably just didn't want to be rude_. It doesn't matter either way_, Blaine thought, stuffing the card in the back pocket of his blue chinos.

Kurt was staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face. "He volunteers at an animal shelter and hospital. Of course he does," he said, almost as if to himself.

Adam was laughing. "That's Geoffrey alright. What'd you think of him Blaine? Lovely chap isn't he?" he asked, clapping Blaine on the shoulder heartily.

"I have to feed Charlie," Blaine said blankly, walking away from the two and escaping into his bedroom where Charlie now lay squirming and wailing in his crib.

"Shh, it's alright Baby Boy. Daddy's sorry. I got distracted. But I'll never do it again. Shh," Blaine said, rocking his infant son gently in his arms and giving him the bottle he was so desperate for.

x-x-x-x-x-x

The next morning dawned early for Blaine as Charlie's sleep schedule returned to normal and he found himself hungry and squalling before sunrise. Blaine was stumbling out of bed, stubbing his toe, swearing quietly and trying to locate a burping cloth, reminding himself that when this was all over, he'd look back on it fondly, or at least, that's what everybody said.

When he had settled Charlie back into his crib, the sun was just beginning to peak out and paint the buildings a fiery golden red. Blaine put the coffee on and sat on one of the barstools in the kitchen with his guitar in his lap, fooling around and playing a slow, soft version of a sweet simple song he had always loved:

_Don't go back on your default Baby__; __I know its hurts__  
__I can see how hard you're trying__; d__on't let go now  
__Wait for the morning, w__ait for the morning dawn  
__Write me a letter, pen and paper__, __I'll hear you out__  
__Whisper quiet, tell me, try me__  
__I'm with you Love  
__Wait for the morning, w__ait for the morning dawn  
__We'll navigate these fragile days__ a__nd find the right road__  
__I'll hold you tightly till the night lightens__ a__nd find our way home_

Blaine's coffee was done and he wondered if he had accidentally woken up Kurt with his singing. He hoped not. He had just always loved the sunrise, and now that he was almost always up before it, watching it with a cup of coffee and his guitar in hand had become something of a mind-clearing routine that he didn't think he was ready to let go of.

A few minutes later, Kurt _did_ pad softly out of his bedroom, reaching blearily for the coffee pot to begin making coffee and starting when he saw that not only was there _already_ coffee, but that Blaine was sitting there in the shadowy darkness.

"What are _you_ doing?" Kurt meant to snap but his voice was too wrecked and ragged to sound venomous. Blaine peered at him in the dim light.

"Charlie woke me up. It's about time for me to start my day anyway."

"You always were a morning person," Kurt said with a small smile. Blaine noticed that Kurt's eyes were red-rimmed and puffy around the edges.

"What are _you_ doing up I think is the better question. It's a Sunday morning."

"I didn't really sleep," Kurt said with a small shrug of his shoulders under his robe, and finally, Blaine realized something was very wrong.

"Kurt." He laid a warm, calloused hand on Kurt's shoulder. "Kurt what is it?"

Kurt set down the coffee pot with trembling fingers. "Adam and I had a huge fight last night."

"What?" Blaine furrowed his brow. "How did I not hear that? I _always _hear you guys' conversations."

Kurt glanced up at him, his lower lip quivering. "W-what?"

Shoot. Blaine had not meant to say that out loud. "Nothing, nothing. What did you guys fight about?"

"You," Kurt said simply. "I told him the truth Blaine, like you said I had to."

Blaine inhaled sharply. He had to admit he was surprised Kurt had taken his advice. But then again, he had a habit of underestimating his ex-boyfriend.

"And he didn't take it well?" A little voice inside Blaine's head was yelling excitedly that maybe they had broken up and Blaine tried to shove it back.

"Hah!" Kurt let out a bitter little laugh and sniffled. "What do you think?"

"Aw Baby, don't feel bad," Blaine murmured, collecting Kurt into his arms. "You did the right thing by telling him." Blaine didn't even notice that he slipped into using the old term of endearment again.

"But n-now he hates me," Kurt whimpered. "And you too. He wants you to move out."

Blaine pulled back a little. "If he hates you for a kiss, he's an idiot."

Kurt frowned up at him. "That's all you're gonna say? You're not going to comment on the wanting you to move out part?"

Blaine shrugged. "I suppose I deserve it."

Kurt laughed again and buried his face into Blaine's t-shirt.

"Good. Because I broke up with him over it."

This time, Blaine put both of his hands on Kurt's shoulders and forcibly made him look him in the eye.

"You _what?"_

Kurt eyed Blaine worriedly. "I broke up with him. He doesn't get to dictate how I live my life, especially when it comes to you and Charlie. I need you two more than I need him. And I realized he had been such an ass about you the whole time. So he- we- we're over." Kurt looked at Blaine, a tiny, proud smile making its way onto his face. Blaine simply stood there in shock, saying nothing.

"Blaine?" Kurt shook his shoulder gently. "Blaine, I thought you'd be happy."

Blaine had sunk back down onto the bar stool and was sitting hunched over with his head resting on his hands, his face wearing a dazed expression. He said nothing for a few beats and then looked up at Kurt, meeting those watery blue eyes with his own hazel ones.

"You're really over? Just like that? You and Adam- done?"

Kurt nodded.

Blaine leapt from his stool so fast he knocked it over, sending it clattering to the floor but he didn't care, didn't care at all, because Kurt and Adam were _done_. He lunged forward, pressing Kurt's back into the wall while simultaneously slanting his lips onto his. Kurt let out a decidedly wanton moan and braced himself against the wall, meeting Blaine's kisses with eager ones of his own, allowing Blaine's greedy hands to wander his body, the body Blaine had dreamed of for so many months that he wasn't even sure that he could trust this was reality right now.

After a few moments he pulled back a bit, looking Kurt in the eye with severity. "I'm-I'm sorry Kurt," he said, panting as though he had just run a marathon. "I- I didn't mean to kiss like that; I just, sometimes my body gets carried away when I hear good news."

"Didn't mean to kiss me?" Kurt replied sharply. "I just told you that I broke up with my boyfriend for you, you had damn well better kiss me."

And with that Blaine was back on him again, his mouth breaking into an irrepressible huge grin.

"Stop smiling so goddamn hard, you're making it impossible to kiss you," Kurt murmured against his lips, but Blaine couldn't help himself. After a few moments, Kurt pulled back and looked at Blaine.

"What?" he whispered with a trace of amusement in his voice.

"I'm just happy." Blaine shook his head. "You really are something you know that?"

"So are you," Kurt replied, grinning and kissing Blaine hard.

Kurt pulled away then and began pouring himself the cup of coffee he had abandoned earlier, mixing in cream from the fridge and sugar from the cupboard. He sat down on the stool next to where Blaine had slumped and took a sip slowly, savoring the bittersweet liquid.

"Mmm good coffee. Beautiful sunrise too." Kurt turned to look at Blaine who was staring at him in utter disbelief.

"Oh I'm sorry did you want to have sex or something?" Kurt asked with an innocent raise of his eyebrows.

"Fuck you," Blaine said with a growl-laugh that was quickly silenced by his lips finding Kurt's again, kissing the boy with such force and abandon that Kurt had to quickly set down his coffee cup as the hot liquid sloshed over the sides.

"Blaine!" Kurt laughed in protest. "At least let me brush my teeth."

"No," Blaine said, winding his arms more tightly around Kurt. "You taste like coffee. I like the taste of coffee."

Kurt huffed in resignation but it was swallowed by Blaine's greedy mouth. "So that sex thing," Kurt mumbled. "We gonna get on that?"

"Kurt. You have to be sure." Blaine stopped his assault of kisses for a moment to look deep into Kurt's eyes. "You _just_ broke up with Adam."

"Are you seriously saying no to sex right now?"

"I am absolutely not saying _no_, I just don't want to be part of anything you regret."

"You really are quite a changed man huh?"

"Luckily not where it counts," Blaine said, gesturing subtly at his growing cock.

"Oh my God," Kurt said wide-eyed. "Hmm no, I've thought about it and I definitely don't think I'm going to regret this."

Blaine smacked Kurt's ass playfully as the taller boy grabbed him by a handful of his t-shirt and led him to his bedroom.

x-x-x-x-x-x

Blaine was lying on Kurt's bed in his boxer briefs, his hair still curly and mussed from sleep as he waited for Kurt to emerge from his closet. It sounded a little bit like something painful was going on as grunts and small crashes could be heard, but Blaine remained where he was, on pain of death by one Kurt Hummel.

Finally, Kurt emerged. He too, was wearing only briefs except he now also carried something in his hand. Blaine's eyes shot wide when he saw what the item was: a pair of handcuffs.

"Now I don't want to scare you but please prepare yourself for the new and improved Kurt Hummel sex experience!" Kurt said, placing his hands on his hips and thrusting his ass out in that tantalizing way Blaine had seen him do so many times while dancing.

"Oh my God, Kurt."

"Baby, relax, it's really not that big a deal."

"I am _not_ using sex toys from your previous relationship. Or sex tricks for that matter," Blaine said, folding his arms across his chest.

"Blaine." Kurt climbed up on the bed and placed himself so that he was straddling Blaine's strong thighs. Blaine hated and loved how easily Kurt could turn him on, loved it because it was Kurt and he was so sexy, and hated it because it could be really inconvenient at times. Especially when they were arguing about something. Kurt knew what his assets were and he knew how to use them to his advantage, at least when it came to Blaine.

"Seriously. Stop freaking out." Kurt took each of Blaine's hands in his own. "I never used these with Adam. I never even tried anything like this with him. He honestly wasn't very adventurous…or exciting…or _good_…at all in bed, so you have nothing to be worried about. God why was I even with him?" Kurt mused.

"I've been asking myself that question for _months_ now," Blaine replied. "But if you never tried out the handcuffs with Adam, why do you even have them?"

"Gag gift. I never really thought I'd get the chance to use them, but I was always secretly kind of hoping, which is why I never threw them out. And then that conversation we had when we were drinking the other night got me to thinking…" Kurt bit his lip and looked at Blaine shyly, as if Blaine didn't already _know_ what he was going to say.

"Maybe you'd wanna try them out with me?"

Blaine yanked Kurt forward by the hands he was holding so that Kurt fell, his chest flush with Blaine's chest, their bodies perfectly aligned. He craned his neck up so that he could capture Kurt's lips in another sound kiss, pulling Kurt's tongue into his mouth and sucking on it until Kurt let out a deep groan that send pulsations straight to Blaine's cock. Kurt began to gyrate gently in Blaine's lap so that their groins brushed tantalizingly together.

"I'll take that as a yes," he murmured in Blaine's ear, teething over the shell and swiping his tongue at Blaine's ear canal. He moved to nibble on the lobe, palming Blaine's erection through his briefs so that Blaine bucked in his hand.

Blaine lapped at Kurt's throat, paying special attention to his sensitive adam's apple, like he knew Kurt loved. Kurt threw his head back and allowed Blaine to continue bruising the skin on his neck as Blaine's hands moved to brush against the pink nubs of Kurt's nipples.

In a moment, Blaine had them flipped over so that Kurt was on his back and Blaine was pinning him to it.

"I want you to handcuff me," Blaine said in a voice so low and husky, it was barely recognizable.

Kurt smiled, a glint forming in his eyes. "I thought you'd never ask. Lift your arms above your head."

Blaine did meekly as told. Kurt swiftly and expertly snapped and locked the handcuffs around both wrists, making Blaine wonder at the fact that he had never used them before but Kurt just shook his head.

"No talking. If you talk, I stop." He put a finger against Blaine's lips and leaned in as if to kiss him but pulled back at the last moment. He then produced one of his older scarves that he no longer wore and proceeded to tie the handcuffs to the headboard. Blaine felt utterly exposed and vulnerable without the use of his arms, despite the fact that his briefs were still on. It was unbelievably arousing.

Kurt bent down and began trailing soft kisses starting at the line of hair that came snaking out of the waistband of Blaine's briefs and travelling all the way up the center of his stomach, in between his pecs, until he reached Blaine's jaw. Once again he leaned in as if to kiss Blaine but pulled away at the last second, letting only his breath ghost over Blaine's face. Blaine groaned in frustration. Kurt merely smiled. He repeated the same actions only this time, he lightly dragged something cold and small and metal up Blaine's body in the wake of his kisses. He scraped the object lightly around the band of Blaine's boxers, making his rock hard cock twitch visibly. He then popped it in his mouth and sucked before bringing it back out and flashing it in front of Blaine's eyes so Blaine could finally make out what it was. It was the key to the handcuffs.

Blaine thrust his hips into the thin air above him unintentionally, so turned on at the sight of Kurt drooling over the thing holding him prisoner. Kurt bent forward and held Blaine's hips down with one hand, teasing one of his nipples with the key with the other. Blaine's body was resisting Kurt's hold but he was strong and Blaine could just barely move his lower half. He could only feel the ripples of his stomach muscles writhing as Kurt continued to tease each nipple until they were both stiff peaks.

Kurt made very deliberate eye contact with Blaine and then sucked the key between his teeth again, keeping his lips slightly parted so that Blaine could see the way he moved his tongue around the tiny object, the black cord it was attached to dangling between his lips. Never breaking eye contact with Blaine, Kurt removed the key from his mouth and placed it on the nightstand next to the bed so that it was in full view of Blaine.

Blaine bucked gently and let out a series of whimpers as Kurt slowly kissed his eyelids, his chin, across his jaw, his cheeks, and the sides of his temples, ending with his nose. "You…are…so…gorgeous…" he whispered between each kiss. He licked up Blaine's nose playfully and for a third, torturous time, moved in as though he were going to kiss Blaine's lips but pulled back at the last second.

Blaine let out a thunderous groan.

"Hush Baby. Let me make you feel good," Kurt murmured, trailing his fingertips across his own lightly-muscled, flawless flesh. Blaine bit his lip as Kurt dipped his fingers into the tip of his waistband.

"God I'm so fucking hard for you Blaine." Blaine groaned, more quietly and desperately this time.

"Are you hard for me?" Kurt asked seductively. Blaine's eyes flashed to the bulge in his briefs. Kurt's eyes followed. He bit his lip as if trying to work out a very difficult mathematical sum.

"Well it certainly looks like you're hard. But there's only one way to tell."

Kurt bent forward and grasped the waistband of Blaine's briefs with his teeth, causing Blaine to have to physically restrain himself from thrusting up wildly in excitement and knocking Kurt in the face. He tugged the band down, just enough so that the base of Blaine's erection was revealed. Blaine could feel Kurt's breath, cool across the throbbing hard flesh.

"Looks like I was right," Kurt said licking his lips. He crawled back up on Blaine's lap, careful to avoid any part of his body touching Blaine's partially exposed cock, and finally, _finally_, kissed Blaine full on the mouth. Blaine whined into the kiss, kissing Kurt back as hard as he could, straining at the handcuffs.

"Someone's awfully eager." Kurt smiled and continued kissing Blaine, all the while running his nails lightly up and down the sides of Blaine's arms.

Blaine didn't know if it was the handcuffs, or the fact that it had been so long, or the fact that it was _Kurt_, or more likely all of the above, but every single whisper of a touch or simply hint of a breath that Kurt lavished on him was going straight to his cock. He didn't know how much longer he could stand the teasing but at the same time he was absolutely in bliss and he thought he might start sobbing if Kurt stopped.

Kurt trailed his hands behind him and to the backs of Blaine's knees, prompting him to draw them up toward his chest. As Blaine complied, Kurt reached to tug Blaine's briefs off all the way, leaving him hard, throbbing and exposed.

Kurt continued to kiss Blaine, moving one hand down and beginning to light massage Blaine's balls in his hand. Blaine whimpered at the light tough, trying to thrust up into Kurt's palm, begging for more.

"All in good time," Kurt teased, continuing his torturous assault on Blaine's balls while his lips massaged Blaine's.

After a few good minutes of this, Kurt climbed off of Blaine and slid his fingers down the length of Blaine's abdomen, mapping out the dip of his muscles where sweat had begun to pool.

"So sexy," Kurt murmured. "So ready for me." Blaine felt a tear trickling out of the corner of his eye. Kurt smirked.

Kurt crouched down between Blaine's legs, wiggling his ass in the air. Before Blaine even had time to respond, his mouth was suddenly there, full and hot and wet and _tight_. Blaine yelled before he could stop himself.

"You've been so good about not talking up till now. It'd be a shame if I had to stop," Kurt said shaking his head sadly. Blaine clamped his lips together and waited patiently for Kurt to bring his lips back around his aching hard-on.

"God, so wet already." Kurt removed his mouth and grasped Blaine at the base of his length, slowly, agonizingly pulling upwards with a smooth, silky tight grip, grinning in delight as a fresh drop of precum appeared at the head.

"I could do this all night. Just stroke you long and slow, squeeze the precum out of you drop by drop."

Blaine whimpered and shook his head.

"That would be rather cruel of me," Kurt agreed. He leaned down and the licked the shiny drop off of Blaine, causing him to shudder.

"You taste...amazing," Kurt said, eyes closing as he groaned with pleasure, causing Blaine to emit a groan as well.

"Mmm I've missed your cock," Kurt said, stroking it gently in his right hand. "And I've missed your mouth too." He crawled back up to kiss Blaine again, twisting his left hand in Blaine's curls and all the while continuing his slow stroking.

"I've missed your hair and your stubble and your hands." Kurt leaned up to place a kiss on the hands handcuffed behind Blaine's head. His fingers twitched slightly. Kurt smiled.

"And I've missed your eyebrows." He kissed each one. "And your eyes." Kurt nuzzled against Blaine's fluttering eyelashes.

"Mostly I've missed your smile," he said, suddenly deadly serious as he and Blaine gazed at each other, their noses grazing, lips mere millimeters apart.

Blaine leaned forward and captured Kurt's mouth in a kiss sweeter than any he could currently remember ever having. Kurt responded despite himself, moaning shamelessly into Blaine's mouth.

"I need you Blaine," he panted. "Need all of you. Every day. I can't live without you anymore." He reached for the bedside drawer and fumbled for the bottle of lube and a condom packet. At Blaine's look of surprise at the condom, Kurt explained. "I-I know we've never really had to use these before but- I just haven't been tested in a while. And I don't know who you've- it's just- for now, we should just-"

It was Blaine's turn to press his finger to Kurt's lips to silence him and the boy smiled in relief against them. "It's not because I don't trust you," he whispered. Blaine nodded in understanding.

With that, Kurt lubed up his fingers and slid two into himself almost immediately, causing Blaine to cry out with lust and himself to cry out at the fullness of it. "Oh fuck," he gasped. "It's been so long since I've bottomed," he mumbled, easing the fingers back into himself a bit slower and dragging them back out. "Mmm," Kurt murmured, letting his eyes drift close as the burn began to fade into something much more pleasurable. He slid a third finger in, whining slightly and then relaxing his face as he moved his fingers faster, scissoring them inside of himself so that he would be open for Blaine.

Blaine's whole body was trembling with desire as he watched Kurt fuck himself on his fingers. God was there anything hotter in the whole world? Blaine didn't think it was possible.

Finally, Kurt had had enough stretching and he tore the condom packet with his teeth, rolling the rubber onto Blaine's aching length and admiring it with great satisfaction.

"You're beautiful," he told Blaine and then reached back for the lube bottle so that he could slick his handiwork up. Once Blaine was dripping, Kurt crawled forward and pushed himself up on his knees, grabbing Blaine's cock to hold it in position, and lowering himself carefully.

"Fuuuuuck," he hissed as he slid down Blaine's entire erection. Blaine keened at the feeling of Kurt, so tight and hot, clenched around him fully now, after what had seemed like hours of teasing.

Kurt gave himself a few seconds to adjust and then he was gliding, slowly at first, almost painfully so, lifting his body up to the point where Blaine nearly slipped out of him, and then impaling himself sharply back down. Finally, he began to speed up, finding a rhythm that was good for the both of them.

"You f-feel so good," he gasped desperately as he continued riding Blaine. Blaine was glad for once that Kurt had forbidden him to speak because he honestly couldn't come up with words to describe how completely perfect Kurt felt.

Blaine jerked his arms forward on instinct to stroke Kurt along before remembering that his arms were still handcuffed behind him. Kurt smiled at that.

"It's better this way. I'm going to come from riding you alone," Kurt said and Blaine bucked up at that, causing Kurt to cry out in pleasure.

They fell into a pattern where they met each other, thrust for thrust, Kurt pulling off and Blaine thrusting up in perfect time with each other, but soon Kurt became more frantic than Blaine with his limited range of movement could keep up with. Kurt had been sitting with his hands tangled in Blaine's hair but he now moved so that his back was at more of a 45 degree angle to the bed, planting his hands behind him in the mattress and rocking his pelvis up and down heavily.

"Fuck!" he cried as Blaine's cock began to pound his prostate at the new angle. "Fuck. Yes. Blaine. Oh my God, yes." Kurt was moving his hips faster now, his movements less sharp and defined but more sloppy and off-beat. Kurt was close, Blaine could feel it in the clenching of his ass, and Blaine wasn't far off himself.

Kurt leaned forward despite the change it angle it made and kissed Blaine erotically, whispering, "Come with me Blaine," into the other boy's mouth and then Kurt was spilling out all over Blaine's stomach and Blaine was groaning loudly as his cock contracted inside of Kurt and he felt the world around him go white for a few moments.

When Blaine came back down, Kurt had tossed out the condom and collapsed onto Blaine's stomach, his head beneath Blaine's chin, despite the sweat and strings of cum that covered his torso and were now sticking to both their bodies.

"Kurt," Blaine said and his voice sounded deep and rusty.

"Mmm?" Kurt murmured peacefully.

"My hands," Blaine rasped with a chuckle.

"Oh God. I forgot." Kurt scrambled to get the key, untying the scarf from the headboard first, and then unlocking Blaine's wrists, massaging each one gently between his fingers, and planting kisses on the spots where the handcuffs had chafed a bit at Blaine's skin.

"You really are wicked, d'you know that?" Blaine asked.

"I didn't hurt you did I?" Kurt asked, his eyes widening with worry.

"Fuck no. That was the hottest thing _ever_," Blaine said, smiling at Kurt's beaming face as he held up the handcuffs with pride.

"Not bad for our first time if I do say so myself."

He leaned down and placed his head back on Blaine's chest, letting his eyes slowly drift between wakefulness and sleep.

"Kurt," Blaine said again, this time his voice much clearer.

"Yeah?"

"We're a mess."

"Mm I know. Five more minutes," Kurt said, muffling his words as he turned his face into the light fuzz of Blaine's chest hair.

"Kurt?"

"Mm?"

"I love you."

Kurt sighed at the words contentedly, and nuzzled his face deeper in Blaine's chest hair, reaching his hand down so that he could entwine his fingers with Blaine's as they both dozed blissfully.

It was not until much later that Blaine realized that Kurt had never said _I love you_ back.


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: It's been a while I know, and the reason is that lately, I've been really dissatisfied with what I've been writing. I haven't been able to write anything that I liked or felt good about. And when that happens I just sort of shut down. It's awfully frustrating. But I've been trying and I've been feeling really bad so I do have this sort of mini-chapter to give you for now, just to let you know I haven't given up on the story. I also admit that I've been working on a lot of side-projects so those have been providing me with too much opportunity for distraction. Don't hate me when you're done reading this chapter. I'm sorry. Heaps of angst await you. **

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Blaine blinked his eyes hazily before closing them again, noticing vaguely the feeling of warmth emanating from something to his left and without thinking, he groped for it, moved closer to it, nuzzled into it. This was the first time he had woken up in a bed that wasn't cold in a long time and he relished the feeling.

The warmth shifted, moving closer to him, and it sighed softly. Blaine listened to the even inhales and exhales letting them pleasantly lull him back toward unconsciousness when suddenly it occurred to him that the warmth was _breathing. _He jumped with a start.

Kurt. Kurt drenched in mid-morning sunlight, cuddled up in him, gripping him like he never wanted to let go. Blaine took a moment to reverently stroke the bangs from Kurt's pale forehead that had wilted during sleep.

Kurt nuzzled closer to him but the air was broken by a soft, sad mewling coming from the direction of Blaine's bedroom.

Blaine kissed Kurt softly on the place that he had just stroked and peeled back the covers, retreating carefully from Kurt's bedroom with his t-shirt and briefs in hand, trying his absolute hardest not to make the floorboards creak.

"Blaine Devon Anderson!" a voice erupted in the silence behind him, more piercing than the loudest of Charlie's infantile shrieks.

Caught red-handed.

x-x-x-x-x-x

"Oh my God _shit fuck _Rachel!" Blaine hissed, whirling on the girl in shock and in the process smashing his knee on the nearby coffee table. He had a moment to realize, as he was clutching his joint in pain and hopping around, that he was _naked_, his clothes still uselessly bunched up in his arms, and Rachel Berry was staring at him.

"Rachel fucking warn a guy!" he yelped once he realized his predicament, throwing his clothes down over his groin in a last-ditch effort.

"It's a little late for modesty now, Blaine. I already saw the whole deal. And while I will say it wasn't disappointing, it certainly wasn't something to get all worked up over. As an actress, I've been trained to exercise the utmost professionalism when faced with male nudity- all nudity in fact. I've even seen hermaphrodites Blaine, _hermaphrodites_, so really, nothing catches me off guard anymore. No reason to be so prudish."

"Regardless, I'd rather be clothed around you. If you wouldn't mind…" Blaine said, indicating for her to turn around so that he could pull his clothes on.

"Fine," she huffed, spinning on one heel. "But this conversation is certainly _not_ over. You are not getting out of explaining to me what you were doing coming out of Kurt's room just now, naked. And tiptoeing! As if you were ashamed of yourself! Now the way I see it there are two explanations here. Either you're a peeping tom and you like to get naked and go watch Kurt while he sleeps, _or_ you slept with him and you're trying to sneak out right now like a low-class douchebag one night stand. Neither answer is ideal, but I will advise that choosing the latter will merely make you a prick while the former makes you someone I'm going to report to the police. Can I turn around now?"

"Good God woman, yes, you can turn around," Blaine said exasperatedly. "And for your information, not that this is really any of your business, but I choose explanation C, which is neither. Neither of those is the right answer."

Rachel narrowed her eyes at him. "Then what _is _the answer?"

"Weren't you not supposed to be back til tonight?"

"Irrelevant." Rachel lifted her nose in the air in a manner that told Blaine that she was upset about something but trying to steel herself against it. He decided not to ask.

"If you have to know," Blaine sighed and ran a hand through his curls. "Yes I slept with Kurt. No I wasn't sneaking out. I wouldn't do that to Kurt. I was trying not to wake him up while I went to-"

Charlie chimed in perfectly with a wail and Blaine was certain he'd never adored his son more.

"_That_. I was going to take care of _that_." He jerked his thumb toward his door.

"Oh," Rachel said, pursing her lips. Her face then brightened several degrees. "So wait- you and Kurt are back together now?"

"No, I said we _slept_ together not that we're _back _together."

"Shouldn't they be the same thing?" The judgment in Rachel's voice was unmistakable.

"Not always," Blaine answered shaking his head.

"Does Kurt…does Kurt not want to get back together with you?" Rachel asked with a sorrowful look in her brown eyes, reaching toward him to lay a small hand on his elbow in her best attempt at comforting.

"I don't know," Blaine answered, shrugging slightly.

"Oh Blaine. You poor boy. I mean, not really you poor boy, because you cheated on Kurt and if I were him I would never forgive you and honestly, you really don't deserve him-"

"Thanks, I'm aware," Blaine cut in sharply.

"_But_, I still can't say I wouldn't be happy for him if you two did get back together. I mean, you know I'd be happy. But I respect Kurt's decision. He's only protecting himself."

"Rachel! Kurt hasn't made any decision. We haven't even talked about it yet. I'm- I'm not sure if _I _want to get back together."

"What?" Rachel exclaimed, her face a mask of horror.

"It's not that I don't love Kurt. I do. I'd be with him in a heartbeat if I knew he wanted me. But he broke up with Adam, Rachel. Adam. And what's he gonna have if he dates me? An eighteen-year-old boyfriend who cheated on him and now has a four-month-old kid- both of whom, he's gonna spend the rest of his life supporting. It's not like I can ever go to college myself, or get a full-time job right now. Think about what Burt would say. And Carole, and all the rest of Kurt's family and friends. I can't do that to him. I hurt him and destroyed him and now I'm going to fuck up everything else he has left just in one snap of the fingers? No, I can't." Blaine was shaking his head, as if for the first time really pondering the gravity of his decisions.

"Blaine…if Kurt loves you, he won't care about any of that. Don't you think he deserves the chance to make that decision on his own?"

"No. If Kurt has the chance to make the decision, he'll probably say yes because he feels obligated, or to help out Charlie. I don't want to be Kurt's charity case and I _won't _ruin his life any further."

"But if Kurt lo-"

"That's a really fucking big 'if' Rachel!" Blaine snapped. He was on edge with all the emotions whirling inside of him, the baby's cries were getting louder, and Rachel just kept on _pushing, _like a doctor probing at an infected wound.

"You don't think he does?"

"I said it, he didn't say it back. You figure it out."

"He's probably just nervous to say it, because he doesn't want to get hurt again. That doesn't mean it's not the way he feels."

"Enough. Kurt and I are not getting back together. End of discussion."

Blaine stormed from the room, anger and pain almost worse than after Kurt had first broken up with him, welling up fiery and blazing in his chest.

Moments later, Kurt was stumbling out of his room, blear-eyed and confused.

"Rachel?"

"Kurt…"

"Where's Blaine?"

"In his room. Kurt I-"

"Did he tell you what we did?" Kurt asked with a flush spreading up his cheeks, a grin painting his face that he couldn't ward off.

Rachel simply nodded, but the look in her wide brown eyes told Kurt that all was certainly not well.

"What- was he…unhappy…about it?"

"Kurt you should really talk to him I think."

Without another word, Kurt headed toward the closed door of Blaine's room, his face set in grim determination.

"Kurt," Rachel said behind him, and it was so soft and tentative that he had to stop, had to turn around, had to look her in her pretty, sad eyes.

"Be honest with him please."

Kurt frowned because he didn't understand what Rachel even meant by that exactly. Be honest with him? As if Kurt had any intentions of being dishonest. What had Blaine said to her?

He shook his head affirmatively without voicing any of his curiosities and his hand was on the doorknob, making an entrance without knocking before he even had time to consider how inappropriate that was. He found he didn't care. The door slammed behind him unintentionally.

"What is this all about?"

"What?" Blaine looked up from where he was feeding Charlie in the rocking chair, eyeing Kurt with an attempt at innocence on his face that was about as see-through as a polished glass sliding door.

"Rachel's upset. And I woke up to find my bed empty. Care to explain?"

"Charlie was hungry." Blaine's voice was tight and clipped like he was really starting to get annoyed, but Kurt continued to push him, because really, when had Kurt ever had the good sense to stop?

"It seems to me like there's something more than that going on here."

"Kurt, would you relax? This isn't the time to talk about it."

"Then when _is _the time Blaine?" Kurt sat down on the bed in an annoyed huff.

Blaine thought on the question for a long moment. "I just…need some time to think."

"Fine." Kurt got up, his face looking wounded, and headed for the door.

"Can you answer one question for me?" He prompted, his hand on the nob. Blaine simply watched him expectantly.

"Do you regret sleeping with me?"

"I think…I think we both should have thought more about it first," Blaine answered very carefully.

"That's just the thing. I _did _think about it. I've been thinking about it since you moved in. I've been thinking about it so much that I broke up with my boyfriend. And I thought- apparently mistakenly, but I thought you had been thinking about it too. Was it just some meaningless fuck for you Blaine? Are you trying to get back at me for dumping you before? Are you trying to break my heart? Was getting me back and then tossing me aside some sort of victory for you?"

Blaine's eyes darkened as Kurt's harsh words pounded his eardrums. _Break my heart. Meaningless fuck. Get back at me. Tossing me aside. Victory for you. _The phrases assaulted him and he felt a familiar nausea welling up in his throat. The first time, when Kurt had first ended things, Blaine had spent months warding off illness, had wasted hours hanging over a toilet seat, had ended up losing fifteen pounds because he just couldn't keep anything inside. For _months_.

Blaine got up and pushed Charlie into Kurt's arms violently before shoving him aside, his hand over his mouth as he stumbled toward the bathroom, where Rachel happened to be taking a shower, for once not belting out any opera, because even she could tell that it wasn't suitable for the moment.

"Blaine what are you-"

"Blaine you can't just run-"

But their protests both stopped abruptly when Blaine leaned over the toilet and heaved, emptying himself over and over and over again until he was simply choking on air and holding on to the sides of the toilet seat, panting.

Kurt watched with deep concern etched over his features, balancing Charlie in his arms, not even recoiling at the smell.

"What on earth is wrong with you Blaine?" Rachel asked from where her head was poking around the shower curtain, her eyes having borne witness to the whole episode.

"I had a bad taste in my mouth." Blaine's voice came out raspy and Kurt could see his frame trembling over the toilet, his hair damp and clinging sweaty to his forehead. He moved to put a hand on Blaine's back, but the boy stiffened immediately at the touch.

"Hand Charlie to me," he said, standing up shakily and wiping his mouth on his arm. "Now Kurt."

"No." Kurt backed away looking at Blaine almost nervously. "You're not well."

"Kurt." The voice was so commanding and authoritative in a manner Kurt had never heard Blaine speak before. Blaine sounded angry.

"Blaine, you n-never answered my question."

"I'm answering it now. You're a smart kid, you figured it out. Sooner than I thought you would. Now, if you don't mind, would you please give me back my son so I can go pack our things." Blaine's voice remained even and low through the entirety of his statement and Kurt felt his knees weaken slightly as what Blaine had just said sank in.

Blaine didn't want him.

Blaine had been using him.

Blaine had fucked him now to leave him. On purpose.

It wasn't like Blaine. But then pain will do funny things to a man. It will change him. Alter him permanently.

"Where will you go?" Kurt's voice was just a susurration, thickened with fear and rejection to the point that it made Blaine's heart twist painfully. For an untouchable instant, his carefully composed face fell away to reveal a winding stretch of sadness running through his amber eyes but as quickly as it had come, it was gone.

"Don't worry about it," Blaine answered and collected his son into his arms, turning his back on Kurt and what he had done.


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: I know it's been forever; forgive me. It's been a rough month. I felt pretty guilty for making you all wait so long, and after a couple of very sweet reviews begging for more, I just had to bang this out. I know how frustrating it is when you're really into a fic and then it just ends and you're stuck waiting for when the author decides to update next. ****But yay, new chapter, new drama, new characters! Some more heaps of good ole angst. ****As always, much much love to you all. I'm still here, still writing. Review if you like, it'd truly make my week. :) xoxox **

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The new apartment was small, not that Blaine had really been expecting otherwise. He had been lucky to get it so quickly- Rachel, for all that she could be incredibly annoying and nosy, had mentioned to him a friend she knew of in the city who was looking for a roommate, and Blaine had jumped on the opportunity. The guy was hardly ever home, Rachel promised him, which was good, because most young people Blaine could think of wouldn't want to be stuck with a roommate who came as a package deal with a four month old baby. Talk about baggage.

Blaine had spent his morning unpacking, but unfortunately, it had only taken a few hours before he was entirely settled in. His few books, his records and CDs were all stacked neatly on the one shelf above the box frame and bare mattress. His sheet music sat in an even pile and his guitar rested in the corner. Charlie's crib was next to his bed; Blaine hadn't had sheets, which seemed like such a stupid, inane thing to forget about, but Santana's old bedroom had been basically fully furnished, unsurprisingly, as Kurt and Rachel kept it as a guest room for a while after she moved out. After a quick trip to a nearby Macy's, a disgruntled Charlie in tow, Blaine was now the proud owner of his very own set of sheets. It was odd; buying sheets for his bed was somehow the one thing that made him really feel like he was an adult, on his own. Not even getting Charlie, or moving out of his house, flying to New York, getting his first real job; none of it had sunk in till _this _moment. He was alone.

Blaine hadn't intended to bring the Cradle 'n Swing with him; after all, it had been Kurt's purchase and an expensive one at that and with the current state of their relationship, it didn't seem appropriate for Blaine to take it at all. But Kurt had insisted- not as a gesture of kindness, but because he claimed, he didn't want to have to look at it and be reminded of everything. "Plus it's not like I have any use for it at all. Just take the goddamn contraption Blaine, Charlie should have it. Just because this relationship is over doesn't mean the kid should have to suffer."

And Blaine couldn't exactly argue with that so he had, begrudgingly, taken it along as well. He had to admit that a part of him was largely grateful towards Kurt's stubbornness; Charlie adored the Cradle 'n Swing and it was often the only thing that gave Blaine's tired arms any respite when Charlie got into one of his crying fits.

The oddest part about the new apartment was that Blaine still hadn't met his new roommate. Rachel had been the one to hand over the keys, and even briefly show him around the apartment.

"I know it's a little…bare," she said, running a finger distastefully over the dust gathering on the clearly-unused dining table. "But the guy who lives here is really nice, a good friend of mine. We actually dated once," she added with a fond chuckle. "Of course, it never could've gone anywhere. We're far too different. But I think you'll find he's a good roommate Blaine. He does a lot of odd jobs, so he's not home much like I said. But he has a good track record with kids, so Charlie shouldn't be any problem regardless."

Blaine scrubbed the sleep from his eyes with his fists, only half catching what Rachel was saying. "Whatever is fine Rach. I'm honestly willing to try and make anything work at this point."

"Well good. I think you'll like living with him. He- he'll be good for you, Blaine. Maybe give you some much-needed perspective."

Blaine chuckled a bit darkly, walking over to stand at the window that took up most of one wall in the tiny kitchen, expressionlessly eyeing the pregnant clouds that loomed over the city's buildings. "Maybe. That'd be nice."

"Blaine," Rachel said gently, coming up behind him and placing a delicate hand on his shoulder. Her touch was so soft, he could almost pretend that it was Kurt's touch- except Kurt's hands were a bit warmer, the fingers longer, the presence stronger. The feeling of Kurt touching Blaine _anywhere- _it was like being completed. Coming home. No one else's touch had ever come anywhere close to that.

"I know this isn't easy. But give it time. Time heals-"

"_Time, _Rachel? Time?" Blaine snapped. "I've given it time, I gave it months actually and when I tried again it somehow managed to hurt even fucking worse than before. And by the way, I don't see _time _making it any easier for you to move on from Finn. You're still just as stuck on him as you were the first time you laid eyes on him sophomore year of high school. So don't talk to _me _about _time_."

Rachel looked a little bit hurt, but if anything, she was not easily deterred.

"Blaine. You love him."

"It's irrelevant Rachel." Blaine's voice was tired now, worn, resigned to the emptiness and the ache, to the disappointment and the forever-goodbye. The fight was gone and it made Rachel's heart throb painfully.

"It's never irrelevant," she said softly. "Give me a call sometime Blaine, if you ever need to talk, if you- if you ever need anything at all."

Blaine saluted her off-handedly in place of a verbal response and watched as she click-clacked to the door in her satin high heels. He did not expect to be seeing her again, at least not for a very, very long time and it was just another thing he had to store away in the file in his brain labeled _"things I must forget."_

x-x-x-x-x-x

Blaine had been, admittedly, rather surprised when Rachel had let him move out without much of a fight- had even helped move and find a roommate. But her ulterior motives all became very clear as soon as his new roommate finally arrived home, crashing through the door to the apartment around 3 AM and waking both Blaine and Charlie from a sound sleep. On cue, Charlie started screaming, and subsequently, Blaine stumbled out of bed frantically, stubbed a toe, swore loudly, and then hopped around, trying to calm the crying baby as well as soothe his throbbing foot.

He didn't particularly relish the thought of meeting his new roommate right now under these particular circumstances, but he might as well just bite the bullet he supposed. Who knew when they would be in the same place at the same time again?

So it was that Blaine, tentatively, carrying Charlie whose tears had slowed as he quietly sucked on his fist with wide eyes, made his way into the small space that served as an entryway connected to the kitchen. He heard soft muttering coming from the figure bent over the fridge, could see a leather jacket in the weak light, and then, the figure straightened and turned, a carton of orange juice attached to his lips and Blaine felt his stomach sink.

He would _kill_ Rachel for this.

"Blaine! Broski! Psyched to see you roomie! I gotta say man, I never thought I'd see you in New York, especially not with a _baby_. I mean, just thinking on high school, you were pretty gay then, and I'm pretty sure gay dudes can't have babies. But maybe breaking up with Hummel made you want to try the ladies for a while? Hey, whatever floats your boat, man. I've gotten a little experimental myself since graduating. Don't get any funny ideas though, I _don't _sleep with my roommates. Made that rule two roommates ago when I got walked out on right before rent was due. Course, I broke it with the last roommate, which put me in a bind again. So I'm thankful to sweet baby Jesus that you're here, even if you do got a kid that screams louder than the chick I was banging earlier tonight. Am I right?"

Noah Puckerman flashed a purely salacious grin at Blaine and Blaine could have face-palmed right then and there at how utterly unbelievable this whole situation was. How could Rachel _do_ this to him? He thought they were kind of friends. So what on earth had she been thinking? All that talk of this new roommate being "a nice guy" and "good for Blaine"- it was unforgiveable! Part of him wanted to cry at how very unfair life continued to be for him, but experience had taught him that the best way to live with Puck was to get him to respect you, and since Blaine _was _going to be living with him, very much in the literal sense, crying was not a good way to start things off.

"Hey Puck," Blaine said weakly, raising a hand in greeting. "I thought you went to LA after you graduated."

"Naw." Puck took another swig from the OJ carton, then wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve. "Well I mean, I did. For about a week. But the scene wasn't for me. It's too hot in LA."

"That was the point wasn't it?" Blaine asked wryly. "LA is hot, hot equals pools, pools equal business for you?"

Puck shrugged. "Yeah, it was a good idea in theory. But I would've had to expand the company big time to actually make any decent profit off that. So, you know, I stuck around for a little while, had a couple good lays, met some people, went to some parties. And you know it turns out, LA is like _the _place for music you know?"

Blaine nodded, rummaging his brain to try to recall how on earth this boy might have possibly graduated from high school.

"So I met these dudes and we got to talking and they said that I had a good ear and I could probably get into producing. So they hooked me up with this record company, and I got sent out here to work with the New York division. Don't get too excited-" Puck held up a hand. "I haven't got to meet Jay-Z yet. But I promise when I do, I'm having him over for a huge fucking house party and everyone'll get to meet him. But yeah for now, I'm just working with the record company, hanging with the A&R reps, scouting for talent. I even DJ a couple nights at some of the more low profile clubs. Nothing too insane, but I get to dip my toe in almost every part of the music business. It's been pretty chill." Puck leaned in conspiratorially. "And the _sex_ is amazing. Seriously Blaine, you should become more important. Once you get important, the hottest people want to sleep with you. Dudes too! Unless you _did _go completely back to pussy after Hummel?"

Blaine snapped. "I didn't go _back_ to anything, I never liked pussy from the get go. And I'm still gay Puckerman, so we can just clear that question from the air right here and now."

"But, then, how-" Puck gesticulated somewhat wildly at the baby who was starting to drift in and out of consciousness in Blaine's arms. "I _know _you didn't get Hummel pregnant. I actually paid attention in that part of biology. Sort of."

"Very intelligent deduction, I can't think why you haven't been promoted yet." Blaine was being rude, but he was cranky, it was very late, and Kurt was an extremely sore subject to begin with. Plus he was still pissed at Rachel for springing this on him and he was taking out that anger on Puck.

"No need to bitch at me Dude. I'm just asking. But you don't wanna talk, it's fine. I'll just head to bed then."

Blaine felt a wave of guilt wash over him and he couldn't in decent conscience just let Puck walk away like that. "I'm sorry- I'm just- tired. Charlie is Sam's baby. Sam and Brittany."

Puck regarded the blonde-haired, blue-eyed infant with amazement in his eyes. "I do have to say, he doesn't look a thing like you, so that makes a lot more sense now. Wow. My man Evans and Brittany Pierce had a _kid. _Guess it's a cheerleader thing. Or maybe a Glee club thing," Puck added looking thoughtful, and Blaine knew he was thinking about his own daughter, conceived with one Quinn Fabray and given up for adoption before the two barely had time to name her. Blaine knew Puck had always regarded that decision with some regret; he wondered if Charlie would bring all those feelings back to the surface.

But Puck was an easy-going guy and not really one to hold a grudge. "Can I hold him?" he asked after a moment, biting his bottom lip a little bit in uncertainty.

"Uh…yeah. Sure." Blaine tried not to let his shock show as he handed the sleepy, squirmy bundle into Puck's strong arms.

"Hey little Buddy. Hey my man. How's it going? How do you like your new apartment? I know it's a little small but it has a really cool view. And it's really close to Central Park. You know what that means? Maybe your daddy will let Uncle Puck to take you to feed the ducks."

Blaine was no longer succeeding in keeping his face arranged into a mask of calm indifference.

"Uncle Puck?" he asked, teeth clamping down on his cheek to keep from bursting into loud peals of laughter.

"Of course," Puck said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "The kid is Sam and Brittany's by birth and you're his dad…though I still don't know how. In what universe does that _not_ make me his uncle?"

"Um…touché, I guess," Blaine answered, still trying to stifle a chuckle. "And to answer your question, I adopted Charlie. Sam and Brittany didn't have the means to bring him up but Sam didn't want him raised by a stranger. So I volunteered. I have a lot more resources than they do," Blaine explained at the dumbfounded look that had crept across Puck's face. "Sam was planning to raise Charlie himself and you know his family situation; they barely have enough money to take care of the kids they have as it is. I couldn't let him do that to himself; he would've been sacrificing everything."

"And it was no sacrifice at all for you?"

Blaine was, to say the least, taken aback by Puck's suddenly very serious, mature tone. Worst of all, he genuinely didn't know what to say.

"No, it- I wasn't…I didn't have much to lose at that point."

"Because you had already lost Kurt."

"Okay." Blaine reached for Charlie back and began backing out of the kitchen. "I am not having this conversation with _you_, especially in the kitchen at three o'clock in the morning, when I've just found out that Rachel Berry tricked me into moving into your apartment and becoming your _roommate._"

"Offensive comments aside, you should know Blaine, I don't judge you for what you did. I've cheated on tons of chicks. I've also helped tons of chicks cheat."

"Yeah, that's incredibly comforting. I'd venture a guess though, that none of those 'chicks' were the love of your life, someone who you loved more than anything and have now lost completely and irrevocably, even as a friend."

"Someone is really bitter dude. And also, wrong. I did love some of those girls. Quinn? I really cared about her once. But everything got so messy and unsurprisingly, I lost her. When Lauren came along, I vowed not to do it again. But she dumped me by the wayside too, so I went to Shelby, just so she could do it again. And you know what Blaine? The worst part of it is, despite the fact that I loved all three of those women and would've done anything for them, it wasn't me fucking it up that ruined the relationship. It was them all eventually coming to the same conclusion- that I wasn't good enough for them. That stings a hell of a lot more than just getting dumped for cheating. At least Kurt loved you. At least he thought you were good enough. He broke up with you because you hurt him, not because he stopped wanting you or decided you weren't worth it. In my eyes, you're lucky."

Blaine had never thought of it that way and he wasn't sure he wanted to. He rather liked getting to throw himself a pity party. But Puck was right. Kurt _had_ loved him, that much was obvious, even if he didn't love him any longer. If Kurt and he hadn't loved each other so much, their break up wouldn't have been nearly as bad. That was just an undeniable fact.

"Get some sleep Bro," Puck instructed as Blaine subconsciously stifled a yawn. "I remember from those times babysitting Beth- babies can really destroy your sleep schedule. We'll catch up some more tomorrow."

Blaine nodded gratefully and padded back to his room, but not before Puck had given him a brief but hard one-armed hug, saying, "it's good to see you again."

And Blaine was amazed to even be thinking it, but it looked like he might have made a friend out of his new roommate, whether he wanted to or not.

x-x-x-x-x-x

It was a hellish few days at first, adjusting to life without Kurt, and Blaine questioned his own sanity more than once with regards to why, when he finally _had _it, everything, he had just tossed it away. But he knew he did the right thing for his son and himself, ultimately. It just didn't currently feel like it at all.

Blaine couldn't help but miss all the little things. The drinking their morning coffee together, or teasing Rachel about her shower warm-ups. The late night marathons of _America's Next Top Model_, running errands together in the city, when Kurt would get down on his hands and knees, even in his best jeans, and play games with Charlie. The fact that these things wouldn't be happening anymore left a hole, a surprising one, and it _ached_, especially at night, when Blaine, who had spent his whole life sleeping alone, suddenly felt more alone than ever.

Puck did what he could, in his Puck way. After a few days of Blaine moping around, sitting on the one little couch in the living room, picking out the chords to every Katy Perry cover he could think of, only getting up when Charlie needed attention, Puck decided it was time for a change.

"I have rehearsal in the morning," Blaine complained, as Puck yanked his sweatpants-clad form up from where it had been on its way to making a permanent impression in the leather.

"And I have a meeting with the CEO of the record label. Big fucking deal. Now I want you out here showered, shaved, and dressed like a person who at some point in his life _wasn't _completely single and hopeless in thirty minutes. Hop to it."

"But Charlie-"

"Will have a very enjoyable night being attended to by his favorite Auntie Rachel."

"God," Blaine grumbled, frustrated that Puck had seemingly thought of _everything._

"Hurry up Dude, the guy I know who can get us in is only working for another hour."

x-x-x-x-x-x

And so it was that at 10:00 on a Friday night, Blaine found himself wearing a pair of tight, dark-wash jeans and a white button up- which Puck had insisted remain mostly _un _buttoned, standing in line outside a New York City club, fake ID in hand.

The bouncer let them in straight away, swapping hands with Puck in what seemed like a vaguely shady manner, but which Blaine still couldn't deny was pretty cool. As soon as they walked inside, Puck steered them toward the bar.

"You _do _realize this is a gay club right?" Blaine said, surveying the distinctly male crowd that was mingling in the smoky darkness surrounding them.

"You said you were still gay." Puck regarded Blaine with a frown.

"I _am _still gay but you're not."

"Bisexual," Puck supplied with an almost proud grin.

"Pardon me? I think I heard you say you were bisexual."

Puck looked indignant, like a small child who had just been told he was too little to ride on a roller coaster at a theme park. "I can be bisexual."

"No, no of course you can." Blaine was trying- and failing- to keep the amusement off of his face.

"I told you I've experimented last night."

"I thought you were kidding."

"The Puckster never kids about sex." At Blaine's bemused expression, Puck frowned. "Hey. Look. It wasn't the cool thing in high school, and I was pretty content with women, so I stayed with it. But back in LA, things get pretty funky. Everybody just sleeps with everybody. Who was I to say no to that? So no- I don't sleep with guys often, but when I do, it's no chore."

"Whatever you say Man. I'm not going to be sleeping with anybody tonight, so we just as well could have gone to a straight club."

Puck just grinned. "Well between you and me, it's been a little while since I've had a good dicking and I'm thinking I might like to change that tonight."

"Oh my God did you just quote 'Bad Teacher' at me?"

"Naw. Pretty sure Cameron Diaz stole that line from me."

"I'm sure," Blaine answered. "Honestly Puck, I never would've pegged you for a bottom."

"I'm flexible," Puck said smirking as a man in booty shorts passed them by and threw Puck a seductive waggle of his fingers.

"You know what? I think you've got it covered here Man. So maybe I should just leave you to it, and go home and check on Charlie. Good luck and uhm- see you in the morning."

"Oh not so fast Anderson. This night's about you and even if we don't get you laid, we're at least getting you a decent lap dance."

Blaine spit out the beer he had just taken a swig of. "This is a _strip club?"_

"Well yeah. Did I not mention that part? The floor's through that entryway there," Puck nodded, indicating an entrance bedecked in long strings of glittering silver beads through which hordes of men were disappearing.

"Yeah I really need to get home."

"No way. We gotta get our money's worth."

"We didn't pay to get in."

"Even better. Always take advantage of free shit. Come on Blaine. Don't be such a nancypants. You're cooler than this."

"I really don't think I am. Puck I've- I've never been to a strip club."

"Aw that's cute. Is that why you're so nervous? Just stick with me, you'll have fun. It's really not a big deal." Puck grabbed Blaine's arm and pulled him through the rustling beads.

"I think I picked up an STD just from touching those," Blaine groaned as Puck navigated them through the swarms of men.

"This is a clean place, trust me."

"Oh God, it's just as awful as I thought it would be." Blaine had laid eyes on the main dance floor where several well-muscled and seemingly well-hung men in a bright variety of thongs were gyrating for a rowdy audience.

"Get over yourself." Puck made his way to the front where he took a seat at a table slightly to the left, gesturing for Blaine to sit next to him.

"Try to relax a little. God knows you won't be getting many nights like this over the next hmm- eighteen years. Honestly, I thought the whole point of high school was _not _to get stuck with a kid. Somehow you managed the opposite, and you've never even slept with a girl!" Puck marveled as he caught eyes with a stripper working the pole closest to them.

The young man sauntered over, all confidence and sass and Blaine couldn't help but be drawn to his attitude immediately.

"Hey handsome boys," he drawled, curling his hand around Puck's shirtfront but locking eyes with Blaine.

"Hey yourself," Puck said and Blaine swore he could see him lick his lips slightly.

"Would either of you fine gentlemen care for a dance?" The stripper was still eyeing Blaine, batting thick eyelashes at him coyly.

"I'm gonna pass for right now but I think my friend over here-"

"Is set," Blaine finished Puck's sentence. "I'm all set. Thanks but just- no." The stripper cast him a look that was a mix between a bitch gaze and a pout.

"I'm sorry," Blaine called half-heartedly but the boy had already made his way to another group of men and was thrusting at them vulgarly, much to their delight.

"Dude. What the fuck? That guy was totally hot."

"That guy was a kid Blaine. Jesus isn't there an age cut off for working here? It should be illegal to hire guys so young."

"It's New York Blaine. They get away with all kinds of things. Plus, that kid could very well have just lied to them about his age. Strippers do it all the time."

"It's sick."

Puck regarded Blaine for a long moment, swigging his beer as he did so.

"Just be honest Blaine. The real reason you didn't want a dance from that guy was because he reminded you of Kurt."

"No," Blaine said, feeling vaguely infuriated with himself for not having a more convincing, creative answer.

"I can tell when you're lying. Your left eyebrow twitches."

Blaine's mouth fell open and he scrambled to find his phone, irrationally wanting a reflective surface to somehow prove to himself Puck's wrongness.

"I don't blame you for not wanting him. Though you coulda been a little nicer. He's just a kid Blaine, geez."

"I literally _just _said-"

"The night's not over though," Puck continued. "We'll find someone less Kurt-like."

Blaine sighed, dragging a hand through his loosely-gelled curls.

"Hey, hey," Puck said excitedly. "What about that guy?" The guy in question was everything that the blue-eyed, brown-haired stripper had not been- short where he had been tall, thick where he had been slender, stocky where he had been lithe. His skin was a deep caramel, his hair a sharp black. He was definitely one of the more muscled of the dancers. Nothing like Kurt. Not really Blaine's type. Therefore, perfect.

"Sure," Blaine muttered because in all honestly he really just wanted this to be over and done with so he could go back home, back to his cold, lonely bed and his baby.

Puck gestured toward the man and the corners of his mouth turned up in a manner Blaine couldn't help but find slightly devious.

"You would like a dance?" he said to Puck in a thick accent.

"Not me, my friend here."

"Certainly. Just take a seat Sir." The dancer smiled at Blaine who gave him a weak facial contortion in return before settling heavily on the leather couch.

"Try not to look like you're in pain," Puck hissed as the dancer began performing his ministrations.

"I said I'd get a lap dance Puck. I never said I'd enjoy it," Blaine muttered back at him.

"Just relax," the dancer said, smiling again and barely, just barely, ghosting his fingers down the trail of hair that was visible through the open V of Blaine's shirt.

Blaine sat back into the cushions and closed his eyes. He knew it was probably rude but he was fucking uncomfortable and honestly, it was easier for him to enjoy himself if he just surrendered to the feeling and didn't let faces or thoughts or realizations of where he was and what was happening assault him.

He opened his eyes what seemed like an hour later but in reality was probably only a few minutes. The stripper was swaggering away, some cash hanging out of his G-string and Puck was glaring at Blaine.

"Dude. The stripper left because he said you weren't 'into it' and he didn't want to waste his time. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What the hell is wrong with _you_?" Blaine spat back, suddenly angry. All the fury, all the sadness, the feelings of failure and loss and anger and jealousy that had been welling up in the hollow of his stomach for weeks now began boiling, crawling up into his throat until they streamed from his mouth, welled from his eyes, stung and clawed at his skin until he released them.

"I'm trying to help you Man."

"You're making everything worse! Goddammit Puck, you talk about love like you actually know anything at all about it, but you're not fooling anyone. Your sex life is just that- all about sex. You know nothing about anything beyond that. You trying to help me get over a broken heart is just a freaking joke of epic proportions and I can't help but think that this is the universe's way of continuing to say 'Screw you Blaine. Have some more payback for cheating on Kurt.' And it never ends, Puck, it never fucking ends. I made a mistake and for the rest of my life, I will suffer because of it and no amount of G-strings or well-hung Latina guys or pretty, nameless fucks is ever going to make it right!"

Puck was staring at Blaine and Blaine was breathing hard, willing the tears that had begun creeping at the corners of his eyes to _back the fuck off_, and his fists were clenching helplessly at the slippery leather of the couch and then Puck's face was closing in and his lips, _Puck's lips_, were coming down hard on Blaine's.

Blaine gave into it- just for a second. He figured that much was allowed. He was tipsy and emotionally wrecked and just shocked. And then, he did what any decent guy in his position would do. He drew back and slapped Puck, hard.

"Jesus fuck Anderson," Puck murmured, sounding more awed than angry, cradling his smarting cheek in his palm.

"What the hell was that?" Blaine yelled at him, embarrassment combined with fury coloring his cheeks a bright red.

"I just wanted to get you to shut up for five seconds."

"You can't just- you can't just run around _kissing _people," Blaine spluttered.

"You wanna kiss again?" Puck asked with a grin.

"No!" Blaine meant it, he really did, so he was just as shocked as Puck when five seconds later he had his face between his hands and his tongue in Puck's mouth. Jesus fuck Anderson indeed.

x-x-x-x-x-x

Kurt spent most of the week trying to work up the courage to call Blaine. Rachel wouldn't tell him where Blaine had gone, just that he was with a friend now, and safe. Kurt was furious, felt betrayed by Rachel, but when he went to accuse her of that, she gave him a look she so rarely pulled out that it made him back down right away.

"You'll want to think twice before you call me a traitor Kurt. I took care of Blaine when you weren't- because I love _you_. And you, at least a part of you buried somewhere in there, loves Blaine. So when you've got a clear mind again, you'll be grateful that I was looking out for him when no one else was. You'll be grateful that I was protecting him, even if it was from you."

And that's what really did Kurt in, made him start bawling on the kitchen floor, spilling the bottle of Tylenol he had been clutching in another vain attempt to cure the ever-present headache he had been suffering seemingly ever since Blaine left. The little blue and red capsules clattered in every direction on the tile, and Kurt had a moment of panic because it would be so _easy _for Charlie to get his hands on a fistful of those and pop them into his greedy little mouth, but then he remembered that Charlie wasn't here anymore, so it didn't actually matter, and that just made the tears come down harder.

Rachel knelt down with a box of tissues and a cup of Chamomile.

"I know it hurts, but you need to call him. Apologize Kurt. Tell him you're sorry."

"I can't believe he would d-do this to me. He's the one that cheated on _me_," Kurt snuffled, dabbing at his nose uselessly with a tissue.

"Blaine shouldn't have cheated on you," Rachel agreed. "But he worked _so _hard for your forgiveness, Kurt, and you took it all for granted. You never forgave him."

"I broke up with Adam for him!"

"That doesn't mean you forgave him Kurt. You slept with him, used him. You hadn't forgiven him- you and I both know that."

"I never meant to use him," Kurt insisted. "But h-he was using me the whole time."

"Do you really believe that?"

Kurt looked at Rachel with wide, red-rimmed eyes. _Did _he believe that? He could admit, he had been dubious at first. After all, it really wasn't like Blaine. And Blaine had said he loved him. But if anything, Blaine was a sensitive guy and so it meant he would do nearly anything to avoid getting hurt. Especially again. And suddenly, it all seemed really clear to Kurt.

x-x-x-x-x-x

Blaine woke up to a wretched headache, feeing as though someone had stuffed his mouth full of cotton balls. There was a glass of water on his nightstand which he figured Puck must have left. He didn't remember much about getting home last night- only that he and Puck _hadn't _had sex, thank God. But things had still progressed much farther than they ever should have. No wonder Puck kept having to get new roommates.

He glanced at his phone. Almost ten- the latest he had slept in a long time. Fortunately, he _had _been coherent enough the previous night to remember he had rehearsal this morning, but he shut off his alarm after receiving a very fortuitous text from one of the guys stating that band practice had been bumped to this evening. They had gotten home so late that Charlie had already received his necessary 3 AM tending-to from Rachel and had miraculously slept pretty solidly the rest of the night, giving Blaine some much needed rest.

Blaine stretched, nearly gagging at the foul taste in his mouth. He needed some coffee stat. And maybe some fresh air. He knew Puck was out at that meeting he had mentioned the previous night, and sticking around the apartment waiting for him to return so they could have some awkward post hook-up interaction didn't really appeal to Blaine, so it was with little debate that he got out of bed, shrugged on a hoodie and jeans, pulling a beanie over his mess of curls, and strapped Charlie to his chest to walk to the nearest coffee shop. It might be a bit cowardly, hiding out from Puck, but he convinced himself that he had other, _practical _reasons for wanting to go out and that his actions were entirely justified.

Blaine had just settled down into a corner booth where the sunlight wasn't streaming quite so brightly, nursing his medium drip quietly, when the door jangled open. The morning rush always dulled considerably after 9 AM and so there were very few others in the coffee shop at the moment, which made the presence of the newcomer so much more difficult to ignore. And oh God, how Blaine desperately wished he could ignore it.

Kurt had walked in.

Upon noticing Blaine and Charlie after a quick sweep of the shop, a myriad of emotions flitted across Kurt's face. Blaine could identify a brief joyfulness at first, quickly reigned in by a remembered sense of betrayal, anger, embarrassment, discomfort, sadness. Kurt seemed to wrestle with himself for a moment before turning and determinedly walking toward Blaine, the one thing Blaine had been praying he wouldn't do.

"Blaine. What a pleasant surprise," Kurt said in a voice that was soft but painfully controlled.

"No need to lie Kurt," Blaine answered, sipping his coffee too fast and burning his tongue. It was the hangover and the confusion surrounding Puck that was causing him to lose his filter, he realized this, but it didn't change the situation either way whether he understood the root of it or not.

"Has it really come down to this?" Kurt asked sadly. He looked tired, the bags under his eyes contrasting starkly with his pale skin. "We can't even be civil to each other when we come across one another in a coffee shop?"

Blaine shrugged, trying to project indifference. "Maybe it has."

"Blaine," Kurt pleaded, pulling out a chair and sitting down. "I just want to talk to you. Please. I've missed you so much, you and Charlie. I don't want things to be this way."

"And yet," Blaine said, tearing open a packet of sugar mechanically, and watching expressionlessly as every last grain emptied into his coffee cup. "They are."

"They don't have to be!" Kurt looked grimly resolute, his terribly kissable lips set into a hard line. "I know that you lied to me Blaine. You're too- _nice_, to do something like that to a person. Revenge fucking? That's not the Blaine Anderson I know."

"Well then clearly you don't know me very well," Blaine said tiredly. "You used to think I was nice back in high school and then I went and cheated on you Kurt. So why hasn't it sunk in yet? I'm not _nice_. I'm _not _the Blaine Anderson you used to know. Do us all a favor Kurt and just get that through your thick skull. And then maybe we can both move the hell on from this twisted, sick little game."

"It's not true!" Kurt said again, stubbornly, his eyes beginning to fill with tears. "You can lie and pretend all you want but I _know _you Blaine. I do know you."

"Leave it Kurt." Blaine's voice was dangerously low now.

"Blaine, please-"

"God dammit can't you just do what you're told for once in your fucking life!" Blaine yelled and Charlie started crying and the few patrons who were in the coffee shop cast worried glances their way, some even going so far as to get up and hurry out.

Kurt's face was crumpled, the way it used to get in high school when Kurt would get so down that nothing seemed like it would ever be right again, the way it had been the night of the junior prom when everybody had laughed at Kurt as he had been voted the prom queen and he had run from the room in tears. It made Blaine's heart twist in his ribcage in an awful way to know he had caused him that kind of hurt. But he couldn't go back now.

And then,

"Kurt, I suggest you go."

Puck had entered the coffee shop somewhere in the commotion and both of them looked at him, startled.

"Puck, what are you doing here?" Blaine asked.

"Looking for you. I left that water for you by your bed, even changed Charlie when he was crying. I remember how from when I used to babysit for Beth. You looked like you could use some sleep."

Blaine nodded at the words, feeling guilty for how much he _didn't_ want to see Puck, realizing now how much Puck had been looking out for him last night.

"I appreciate that, but you can go Puck. Kurt and I were just finishing our conversation."

"No we weren't!" Kurt interrupted and Puck laid a strong hand on his shoulder in warning.

"I think Blaine is done talking to you Kurt."

"What does any of this have to do with you? Since when were you two even- friends? I didn't even know you were in New York!" Kurt was getting exasperated and when Kurt got exasperated, he went into bitch mode, and Puck- well Puck didn't respond well to bitch mode. This was going to turn into a full-blown showdown in about five seconds if Blaine didn't do something quick.

"Puck- just let it go," Blaine hissed. "I'll meet you back at the apartment later, I'll handle this."

"Like hell you will. Look it, usually I'm the one that walks out the next morning after a hook up and I do _not _appreciate being on the receiving end of that kind of behavior. I'm not letting you out of my sight Anderson. You'll just run away and I need to talk to you."

It was obvious that Puck had forgotten Kurt was in the room. Either that, or he really just was a complete asshole.

Kurt's face had paled completely, which was saying something for him, any trace of a spark in his blue eyes or the rosy flush of his cheeks, absent entirely. He looked like he might be ill as he turned to look at Blaine.

"Hook up?" He asked in a barely-there tremble.

"Listen Kurt, it's not what it sounds like, it-"

"No." Kurt said holding up his hands, tears spilling from his eyes now. "I know exactly what it is. I- I can't even-" Kurt paused for a moment, choking on his words that were garbled by the sobs he was failing to repress. "You told me- you told me you were in love with me, but it was all just a big game to you wasn't it? I thought- today, I was ready to apologize. I thought you might've cared and it was me who was wrong. But you've just proven to me Blaine that I was right about you. I can't trust you. You just want to fuck. Like how you cheated on me last year and then slept with me was just to get your revenge me dumping you. And now you've just gone on to the next one. Fuck you Blaine. I- I wish I had never fallen in love with you." Kurt was running and Blaine could only watch as once again the love of his life slipped through his fingers.


End file.
